No more 30 hours free childcare

[tipiipit]

Not an AIBU but I'm in a right state and just needed somewhere to come to cry basically

I'm a single mum to a 3 year old, expecting a baby in April too.

Won't be getting maternity pay as haven't been in my current job long enough, so saved up lots of money and I also get a student loan.

Have just found out my 3 YO will no longer be eligible for 30 hours free childcare once I finish at work.

I'm absolutely heartbroken cannot stop crying. I just presumed he'd continue to get 30 hours free I had no idea that you had to be in employment. Feeling like an idiot. A very poor idiot. No idea what to do. (Was planning on staying at uni after baby was born, taking baby in with me when I could and 3YO going to nursery. But now I can't afford for him to go to nursery, but if I can't go to uni I won't get a student loan which means I have no money. I know a few people who take babies into classes but I couldn't take my 3YO that wouldn't be fair on anyone.)

What am I going to do

Surely you still get the 30 hours if you're on Maternity Leave as you're still employed? Also please don't take your baby to class, people at my uni did this and it was unbelievably irritating distracting.

I can't believe unis accept students taking babies to classes nowadays! What kind of course allow it? How can you possibly be concentrating with a baby awake next to you?

@tipiipit I was a single mother of a 3 year old at the same time as I was a student.

I can't help you with whether you are or aren't entitled to the 30 hours but I can help with some other advice. Go and speak to the Student finance department at the university as soon as possible. They may be able to help you with a bursary or grant, or alternatively they may be able to give your child a free space at the University nursery for the sessions you require. When I was studying I had a sudden change of circumstances which meant I lost my childcare and could not afford any other childcare, I spoke to student finance and they were excellent and very helpful with what and how to apply for.

@swingofthings, I initially did a degree in Early Childhood Education (before nursing - it was not allowed then obviously!) and people frequently brought their babies to class. I think the lecturers thought it was okay because we were studying children, it was not okay and eventually enough people complained so it stopped but wasted many lectures listening to crying babies/people cooing over babies - including the lecturers!

do unis generally allow babies/children to be brought to lectures?

You still get 30 hours for the length of your maternity leave (regardless of whether it’s paid or not you’re still classed as employed), you may we’ll be eligible for maternity allowance.

Finally like others have said you will still get your 15hours. In my experience childminders tend to be better if you need specific hours. So he could go to a childminder while you have your lectures.

Also if it’s your first degree you could well be eligible for a grant to cover 75% of childcare costs.

Oh and babies could be allowed. Our uni had a policy that babies under 6months were allowed.

I understand the 30 hours was only rolled out for working parents in September last year and it was really clear in the media etc that it was for working parents only. That's a very short period to become so dependent on it. What did you do with DS before he was eligible?

I would seriously reconsider taking a newborn to uni, and I think care for the newborn would be my concern IIWU, not the 3YO (you will get 15 hours regardless) Could you do a distant learning course?

I didn't know babies were allowed into lectures. How distracting for the rest of the students and I have to agree with others. You also need to take some personal responsibility for this situation. You have chosen to have another baby with someone who clearly didn't like the situation you both found yourself in and left. You didn't check your personal situation with regard to childcare. Are you getting any maintenance from this man?

Sorry but you cannot have it all ways and expect the tax payer to fund this because you have slipped up.

”If I can't go to uni I won't get a student loan which means I have no money”

But if you don’t go to university you won’t need a student loan because you’ll be able to work instead?

Considering how much Uni fees costs, I would be absolutely furious if I paid for my kids to be disturbed by crying babies because some student decide to have kids before getting an education (and getting grants when others have to pay).

Why is it ok at Uni but not at college? It's amazing how phones are expected to be turned off but screaming babies are ok. Unbelievable!

'I hate the way women always get blamed for men deserting them and leaving them in a financial/childcare hole. It raises all my feminist hackles.

Op, if you're still reading this, don't go down the self-employment or childminding routes suggested earlier. They won't work when universal credit comes in - there's a minimum income floor. Universal credit has finished my childminding business. '

I definitely hate the way NRPs are allowed to walk away from their financial responsibilities to their children. I completely agree with the self-employment/childminding. This will not work with UC. Check your policy regarding babies in class. It doesn't apply to all of them and I'd complain if I were paying full whack and someone brought a baby in to lectures and it was in any way disruptive.

I'd look at taking a break from study and claiming Income Support until the baby is a bit older.

I am not sure that people are blaming the women. What I am saying (and I am about to get my hard hat on) is women in this country can choose their partner. They need to choose wisely otherwise the relationship will come crashing down.

I have a close relative who chooses the wrong men time after time, she sucks us all into it, its drama every week. She breaks up, is in floods of tears and then does EXACTLY the same thing again. Her parents are often worried sick or rushing up and down the motorway supporting her.

She never learns from her mistakes. She expects others to rally around at a moments notice and is the victim in all of this every single time. I can deal with it. Her parents less so..

I am not sure that people are blaming the women. What I am saying (and I am about to get my hard hat on) is women in this country can choose their partner. They need to choose wisely otherwise the relationship will come crashing down.

I have a close relative who chooses the wrong men time after time, she sucks us all into it, its drama every week. She breaks up, is in floods of tears and then does EXACTLY the same thing again. Her parents are often worried sick or rushing up and down the motorway supporting her.

She never learns from her mistakes. She expects others to rally around at a moments notice and is the victim in all of this every single time. I can deal with it. Her parents less so..

I got told off ages ago for saying women should think twice before getting together with somebody. No man can be 100% trusted IMHO despite what you read on here. Anybody' partner can walk out the door anytime. That's why women have to be careful in their choice of partner and be careful not to be so financially reliant on them that their lives are totally screwed if they walk out. Op should have in this instance finished Uni and got a job first before having another planned baby. But it is as it is. But it needn't have been.

Hillingdon, I don't know your sister, so can't comment.

You do sound like you are blaming women though. Yes, we can choose who we marry and enter into relationships with. Does this mean that, if a man turns out to be violent, or a serial philanderer, the woman must blame herself for getting involved with him? As a survivor of domestic abuse, I find that view extremely unpalatable.

I got told off ages ago for saying women should think twice before getting together with somebody. No man can be 100% trusted IMHO despite what you read on here. Anybody' partner can walk out the door anytime. That's why women have to be careful in their choice of partner and be careful not to be so financially reliant on them that their lives are totally screwed if they walk out. Op should have in this instance finished Uni and got a job first before having another planned baby. But it is as it is. But it needn't have been.

Hillingdon, I don't know your sister, so can't comment.

You do sound like you are blaming women though. Yes, we can choose who we marry and enter into relationships with. Does this mean that, if a man turns out to be violent, or a serial philanderer, the woman must blame herself for getting involved with him? As a survivor of domestic abuse, I find that view extremely unpalatable.

The baby already exists Hillingdon. Don't comment if you can't offer any helpful advice to the OP.

People get thrown in to less than ideal situations everyday but they find a way to make things better. That's life.

No man can be 100% trusted

Haha, let's stop procreating then.

Please go and speak to the university - they might be able to help you.

You will have to work instead of going to uni.

Sorted.

My heart. .. "sorted"????

Maybe the op has dreamed of this study/career her whole life. .. and then, just after she had organised it all, her partner let her down. Somebody she trusted, loved and relied on decided to be crap.

Yes, she will probably have to work. And make plans for her kids which are not the ones she envisaged when she got pregnant.

So many broken dreams, so much heartache and disappointment, so much stress planning for a different future.

But hey, you are a taxpayer, and it's not your problem, right?

It isn't about it being anyone's problem.

It's about being realistic regards what you can actually afford to do at this very moment in time. If not getting 30hrs childcare free is catastrophic then what in the world is supposed to happen with the baby when it arrives??