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Original poster

Is it weird to not care about physical appearance of the person you're dating

36 replies

DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 20:40

and care about their resume/CV instead?

When I was younger, I was very attracted to guys with impressive resume. Like I was in HR interviewing candidates for jobs. lololol. My friends all thought it was weird that I seemed to bypass the first step -- physical attraction. At one point, I became semi-obsessed with a guy who everyone thought was ugly but had a very good resume.

Now I am older and resume/CV don't seem to matter so much anymore. It perplexes me why I was like that when I was younger. It's like I dove straight to resume/CV, ignored the physical appearance, and tried so hard to stick with the person eventhough he was a grade A douchebag.

Was I weird?

Oh, and I can also be considered an achiever of some sort and I have a good resume. I have been described as charming, even pretty sometimes.

OP posts:
Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 20:41

I guess what I was trying to ask - very ineloquently - was that would you date a person you're not physically attracted to but you're attracted to their resume/CV?

OP posts:
sparklefarts · 17/01/2018 20:46

Eh?
You dated someone because you liked the jobs that had had/currently had.?

Eh?

crackerjacket · 17/01/2018 20:48

Whhhaaaaatttt?

MultiGrey · 17/01/2018 20:51

Well some people are attracted to others based only on their job / status / earnings, so not unusual for you to be attracted by what is on someone's resume.

Also some jobs are indicative of personality traits - HCPs are generally caring, a rocket scientist would be deemed clever, someone who had had to study for many years demonstrated commitment and tenacity.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 17/01/2018 20:51

So do you mean you find his life history interesting and who he is as a person instead of his looks? Or do you really mean you like that he has been a milkman, accountant, scaffolder or whatever and you like the sound of his job?

LineysRuff · 17/01/2018 20:55

You like the word resumé, I'll give you that.

Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 20:58

You like the word resumé, I'll give you that.

lol it's hard to think of a synonym aside from CV

OP posts:
LineysRuff · 17/01/2018 21:04

Accomplishments?

LastOneDancing · 17/01/2018 21:09

As in literally the piece of paper they send in to interview - oooh nice font, excellent formatting etc, I'm so turned on by your 2012 certificate in HACCP?

Or you're attracted to high achievers with interesting job histories?

Because one is weird and the other understandable.

Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 21:24

LastOneDancing

I assumed when I said resume, people would understand it's the content of the resume. I didn't realise it can be misconstrued as me being giddy about the font, etc. Clearly I was wrong.

LinesyRuff

Accomplishment just means something that one has achieved successfully. It is not exclusive to jobs.

OP posts:
barefoofdoctor · 17/01/2018 21:44

Is lololol the new yohoho? Each to their own so not really weird or unreasonable.

RosyPrimroseface · 17/01/2018 21:51

I don't know - what kind of package are you offering to a potential bf? Life insurance, flexitime, and 30 days' holiday? Grin

Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 21:52

Is lololol the new yohoho?

Just a lengthier version of LOL.

OP posts:
derangedmermaid · 17/01/2018 21:53

Well, yeah.

Because EVERYBODY lies on their CV.

And you can't really lie about your face. Or extra nipples or things...

Bluntness100 · 17/01/2018 21:58

Do you mean you were just interested in what you perceived as successful men, and didn't care what they look like? In a kinda, I'm sorry, I don't know how to phrase this politely, but gold digger way? You were looking for a successful partner who was financially stable or would be affluent going forward?

If so, then no. Being successful at what you do and financially stable is important, but love and sexual attraction was always first for me. I did date some very hot men who were losers job wise. Don't regret it for s moment,,🤣

Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 22:08

Because EVERYBODY lies on their CV.

Not literally the CV as in the physical paper because yes that is obviously very weird, but education/work experience/cool stuff he's done career-wise etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 22:12

In a kinda, I'm sorry, I don't know how to phrase this politely, but gold digger way? You were looking for a successful partner who was financially stable or would be affluent going forward?

Being a gold digger would be if I expect them to pay for me. Which is why I mentioned in my original post that I have an impressive resume myself to set this straight.

It's not even about financial reasons -- for example, two guys, one is a doctor, another one is a software engineer. I am more inclined to be attracted to the software guy, eventhough the doctor earns a higher income.

OP posts:
derangedmermaid · 17/01/2018 22:12

What?

Isn't that just being interested in a persons achievements and resulting personality?

Because my DP is like, hellllla fit but I don't just like him for his face, or his bum, or his arms, or his legs, or his bum, or his strangely attractive wrists...
I like him because he's done stuff, has cool stories, his head is fascinating, he is just my type of man.

Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 22:14

Or:
Two guys, one is a rich politician with vast lands etc. Another one is a PhD in computer science. Looks-wise, same level I guess. I'd be more inclined to be attracted to the PhD.

OP posts:
CharizMa · 17/01/2018 22:14

Maybe it was because pretty much everybody you dated when you were young was relatively attractive. Probably all had thick hair, good teeth, lean washboard stomachs etc...

Now.... not so much (depending on your age).

I don't know. It's a theory. I cannot bypass attraction because somebody is a CEO or whatever. Actually that would scare me.

GottadoitGottadoit · 17/01/2018 22:14

It just sounds a bit immature, that’s all. Like you didn’t trust your own judgement to make a good choice, but that you’ve grown out of it now.

It took me a while to work out that really liking someone wasn’t enough; the fanny gallops have to be there too.

I ignored this fact when young end ended up with 2 relationships with people who were, with hindsight, totally gay.

Original poster
DreamingMyDreams · 17/01/2018 22:16

Isn't that just being interested in a persons achievements and resulting personality?

Yes but what I meant was, bypassing the physical aspect.

Because what normally happens is, you get attracted to someone, then you discover his achievements/personality right?

In my case, when I was younger, I never really paid attention to physical attraction - which my friends found weird.

OP posts:
sourpatchkid · 17/01/2018 22:22

I think you're just writing it in a really weird way? What you're really saying is "I was more interested in who a man was and what he had done with his life than how he looked - is that weird?" Answer: no

LineysRuff · 17/01/2018 22:24

Fucking hell this thread is advertising a Brighthouse washing machine at me. Go figure.

bridgetreilly · 17/01/2018 22:33

It all sounds weird to me. Normal is caring about the person you're dating - who they are, what they're like, what you have in common, where you're different, and so on. Normal is appreciating what is specific about that person in their looks, character, experiences and so on.

Normal is not choosing someone according to set criteria, whether they are about looks or career. Normal is feeling an emotional attachment and some level of attraction.