To not understand what's wrong with buying a house with someone your not married to?

[smudgedlipstick]

Am I missing something? I have seen and followed a fair few threads on here about people who want to be married but are not, and there is always comments about them being unprotected and at risk. I am in the process of buying a house with my partner, we both work although I work part time, we have a child together and plan to have more in the future. We are both very happy although of course I would like to get married at some point. What am I missing? Is there something terrible that I don't know that will happen if we split after we own a home together?

If you are not married AND have a child you will be more financially disadvantaged in the event of a split than if you were married.

Especially if you have given up work to care for the child, or have otherwise had you work options reduced (Work part time etc)

The issues only arise if the house you live in isn't in your/yours and partners name

I think it's more when the house is in only one persons name. Even if the other contributes to bills etc they have no legal entitlement to the house. Theoretically they could be turfed out with nowhere to go

So we have joint bank accounts and savings, and the house will be in both of our names, so it wouldn't apply to us?

There are lots of situations where an unmarried couple buy a house together, the (often) bloke will say "oh only I can go on the mortgage / deeds as you don't work" so the house is in their name only.

Several years down the line the couple split, the woman has decreased her earning potential due to caring for children and not working / working part time, whilst the bloke who has his OH to do all the childcare / domestic duties, has benefited from payrises etc and also has a house in his name only which he then turfs his partner out of.

There are legal protections you get with being married that you will have to deliberately put in place if you are not. So it's not necessarily a bag thing, you just need to be clear that you have thought through the legal impacts of various scenarios and protected yourself against them.

As well as what happens if you split, what happens if one of you dies - you won't automatically inherit the other half of the house.

I dont mean to be the harbinger of doom but lived with my partner for 20+ years. We have a son together and a mortgage.
He passed away very suddenly with a brain hemorrhage in August. That is when I discovered the issues that not being married causes.. It Didnt matter how long we had lived together paid bills together etc etc.. I was not my dps next of kin. Our son (who is under 16) is

I am still working through all the financial and legal issues almost 6 months later

So take my word for it .. if you are moving in together without getting married, make a will asap and make sure if you have a mortgage that it has a survivor clause in it

You would need to make wills too, otherwise your DP's parents could kick you out in the event of his death.

Also look at whether the house is valued more than inheritance tax liability

If you are married and you split you are entitled to a share of all the assets, that includes pensions and if you gave sacrificed your career by going part time you maybe entitled to spousal maintenance as well as child maintenance.
If you are married you are automatically your spouses next of kin.
If you are not married you get a split of anything held in joint names and you are not entitled to a share of pension. You will only get child maintenance. You are not automatically next of kin.

In almost all cases if you are not married and have a child and then split up, as the primary career of the child you are financial worse off than if you have been married.

A solicitor can draft agreements that give you the same legal protection, but these are almost always more expensive than nipping down the register office and getting married.

Nothing wrong as long as both parties are named on the deeds and mortgage and both have equal access to the family money and both are clear on the risks/advantages.

The key thing is not leaving yourself open to being turfed out of his/her House down the line.

We bought our house pre-marridge and pre-children. The house was in both our names and we paid in equal amounts - I was happy about that. When the children came along and I went part time my future became less secure, had we stayed un-married and my partner died I wouldn't have been his next of kin so the house wouldn't necessarily have been mine. Also, going part time would have had a negative effect on my earning, career progression and pension. My partner did not go part time, he has been promoted twice since our first child arrived, I haven't. If he dies now I will inherit the house, I will be entitled to some of his pension, death in service benefit etc. If he leaves me I will be entitled a share of all savings either of us have and a share of his pension etc.
We married to protect me when I gave up a slice of my earning potential and to protect the children. I'm pretty sure he won't die or leave me but I'm also pretty sure my house won't burn to the ground buy I still have insurance.

No if you are not married it doesn't matter if the house is in joint names or indeed who pays the mortgage. If one of you dies the house doesn't automatically go to the other person.

You need to have a survivor clause written into your house deeds which states that this will happen.

Or- as happened to my friend- your partner runs off with someone else and leaves you with the house. Even though the house is both your names, he decides he can't pay the mortgage.

Your choice is to keep paying and keep your home- or stop paying and lose your home, your credit rating and have the council find you intentionally homeless. Or try to sell it, while coping with the loss of your relationship.

If something happens to your partner you won't be classed as next of kin if you aren't married. If you aren't financially independent and you split up you won't be in a strong position.

Definitely both make wills and also ask the solicitor if there are any other provisions you need to put in place.

Please make wills ASAP. I'm 50 and only just realised how at risk we both were should one of us die intestate. Bloomin kids running the world.

Tenants in common (I think that's the legal term) protects you in the event of a split, but as PP have said, if the house is worth more than 325K you should get married to avoid being liable for inheritance tax if one of you steps under a bus.

OP
Assuming you're in England, it might be helpful to have a look at the following, and ideally take advice from a solicitor about the topics they discuss:

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/shared_ownership_leasehold/homeowners_joint_ownership

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/dividing-the-family-home-and-mortgage-during-separation

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/how-to-sort-out-your-finances-on-separation

Here's my confusion with your situation, OP... Some people don't ever want to get married, and that's fine. Their choice and they can deal with the complications of sharing property, next of kin, etc. But you say you DO want to get married to your partner. You already have a child, you want more children, and now you are planning on buying a home. So why don't you just get married already and avoid all of the extra steps you must take in order to protect yourself in the event of your partner dying or leaving? No judgement from me, of course, I'm just curious. You could get married tomorrow and avoid all that headache.

This is one of of those things, unless your in business of law on this area one thinks... We don't need this.

Them something happens and actually you realise there are strict legal protocol to follow that will not always be logical to you or fair. But you didn't know because you never went to the the proper source of information to find out. Then your living in a night marish quagmire that you barely understand whilst reeling from sudden death or dh leaving.

And even if your married, do a will for goodness sake people!

Oh Christ there is a fair amount more to this than I thought. I am aware of the bereavement benefit you only get when married, but I wasn't aware of the legal side of it with regards to the house. He does have a will and as far as I'm aware, he has written that everything is to be left to me, I don't have a will and will probably have to do that at some point during the solicitors bits.

aquamarine, I don't know why to be honest with you? We have been together for ten years and are very happy so I don't know why we are not married, I think because he hasn't asked I don't want to ask him, and he hasn't asked because we are happy going as we are if you follow me x I think it's something we should probably discuss though. We talk about marriage fairly regular but it just never happens!

Another not very nice aspect of not being next of kin is if your partner ends up in hospital on life support. You won't be able to make important decisions on his behalf.

You need go check that will get it all out in open