To think help should be given before it's too late?*trigger warning*

[RottenTomatoes959]

Met with a few friends for coffee last night and ended up discussing those videos doing the rounds on facebook of those paedophile hunters catching predators which is great.
However the discussion moved on to a documentary we watched ages ago about paedophiles who knew what they were but locked themselves away from society and did everything in their power not to offend.

Before i get flamed i was abused as a child so i know what its like to go through that.
IIRC there is somewhere in england possibly that is like therapy or something for people who have offended to try rehabilitate them,but nowhere for people who haven't and dont want to either.
I think that people with that kind of rewiring or chemical imbalance in their brain should in no circumstances be around children,ever. At the same time though i feel its counterintuitive to shut someone down or abuse or attack someone whos seeking help before doing anything.
I feel that it pushes them down underground where the likelihood is that theyll meet likeminded people and begin to normalise it and even encourage it.
There should be a safe space or spot where someone can go and get the correct therapy or even surgery or tablets to rupress sexual urges
Im not saying that we should accept because we cant and never should and they should not be able to to be around children or accepted into society with open arms. I just dont want what happened to me to happen to anyone and i think that people being so afraid of getting killed or whatever else will hide what they are until they cant hide it anymore.
Ive probably made a balls of explainging this properly but heyho.

Before flaming me for thinking im saying they should be accepted or it should be normalised im definitely not.
I just want to help and keep safe kids like i was.

theegregarious but I assume you're talking about people who have actually offended? not those who have never done so?

Pecan yes. That's why they were in front of me because they had been sent for help, it wasn't of their own volition.
I have not worked with potential abusers (that I know about), although now I'm wondering how many there are. I imagine it would be very hard to access help without a whole load of judgement and possibly certain agencies involvement which may put them off.

There are a lot of sexual preferences that are wrong though. What about people who have rape fantasies or watch torture porn? This is not the same as being gay or straight at all. It’s about power and control. Most paedophiles are narcissists and sadists who get off on the control and power they have over the child just as much as the actual sex. People with these sorts of urges rarely want to change.

Im sorry ladyvimes but thats just not true. There is a difference between a paedophile and an abuser. Abuser uses it for power and control and a paedophile is sexually attracted to children.
Im sure there have been countless cases where someone is both but its not definitively that way.

They would'nt go for help anyway, the majority of them dont see it as being a problem, until they are caught.

They would and they do. There are organisations set up to help non offending paedophiles but they're are too few of them. One non offending paedophile I read about had moved to, I think Germany?, to get support and help. I spoke with a group of non-offending paedophiles and not all wanted help as they didn't feel the need but all were in agreement that the help should be out there. One of them had gone to a therapist only for them to alert the police, even though no crime had been commited - he lost his job, his family etc - many of them have heard of similar things happening to other people and it puts them off seeking help (understandably). From those I spoke to it seems that for some people they have a primary attraction to children and a secondary attraction to adults and those seemed to find it easier to deal with than those who ONLY had an attraction to children as at least they were able to sustain a relationship with women/men their own age and so had some sexual outlet.

The thing is we have no idea how many non-offending paedophiles there are out there in the world. There could be just hundreds or there could be millions, there could well be more who don't offend than those who do!

Kaya just what I said. Needs to be dealt with by trained professionals not a lynch mob.

or accepted into society with open arms.

Isolating them makes them more likely to offend, that's why the befriending programme run by the Quakers is effective.

I don't know about adult offenders, but certainly in the case of child-on-child sexual abuse there is a strong link between being abused and abusing others - which is not to say that all children who are abused will abuse. More help for victims, more awareness of the signs of abuse might help there. Prevention should be the aim.

@ladyvimes

There are a lot of sexual preferences that are wrong though. What about people who have rape fantasies

And if it stays in someones head and they never harm anyone? We can't police what people think about.

The son of someone I know was caught by one of the entrapment groups last summer. He has severe learning disabilities, and although he is in his 20's he has the mind and emotional development of a 13/14 year old. He was living in sheltered/supported accommodation and should have been supervised pretty much at all times, but none the less got access to Facebook or snapchat or whatever via smartphone and started talking to the decoy of a 14 year old girl. Arranged to meet her secretly and it was this group.
It was plastered all over Facebook that they had caught him, his name, photo. All the details except his learning disability. Comments all over the post about how he should be hung, how people were going to find him and kill him.

The Facebook post has now been removed, as once it all went to court the judge ordered it. However there was no explanation by the group about what had happened, the fellas disabilities. Just the post disappearing.

• I thoroughly disagree with what 'paedophile hunters' are doing, but seem to be in a very small minority. A person near me had their car wrecked with paint because he was mistaken for a paedophile who'd been exposed. Comments on FB were 100% in support of the hunters and it was just tough that an innocent person had their property damaged - as long as local kids are being 'kept safe'. I also question why hunters want to spend their spare time engaging in chat with paedophiles by posing as children themselves. Are they getting some sort of thrill? I would feel very odd about it, and imagine that people who work in this area have a lot of psychological assessment.*

This x1000000. Myself and DH had quite the argument about this because he watches them and I said I completely did not agree. It is the police's job if there is a threat. Most of them, i think these 'hunters' do it for the Facebook likes and can ruin people's life's in the process.

Yes, in child-on-child sexual abuse it is correct there is a strong link with experiencing abuse themselves, with adults there is a different underlying pathology

I suppose the question then is what tips someone from being a paedophile to being an offender? What triggers that step and how can we stop it?

RottenTomatoes I am saying that being paedophile is not just about being sexually attracted to children. It is not that simple. And I take offence to those comparing it to being gay - it is not the same at all. I think there is not enough money in our society to help everyone and I believe helping paedophiles overcome their obviously wrong urges is not where our money should be spent. If you feel a certain way and you know it’s wrong then you don’t do it. Simple. But there is more to it than that for a paedophile.

Jesus Christ lady so what would you rather do with paedophiles instead of helping them? Round them all up and shoot them? Spend way more money than therapy and lock them all up for life? Creating safety for children and future generations is exactly where our money should be spent

There is a podcast called Australian True Crime that I listen to sometimes, and one of the episodes on that looked at how child sex offenders should be supported and how they could be rehabilitated and prevented from reoffending.

The expert who was being interviewed basically said that in the vast majority of cases, the offence against the child is opportunistic. In other words, it tends to be an older child, the adult is drunk or under the influence of drink or drugs, and makes a bad judgement. Those people don't have an attraction to children, as such, they just make the wrong decision. In a very tiny percentage of cases, the perpetrator is actually sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children, and those people are harder to rehabilitate.

There were some paedophile hunters here a few months ago and I think the way they carried on was disgusting. Im not making excuses for the man in question at all but standing in the street for hours shouting nonce and making all the neighbors come out is disgraceful. Take all information to the police and let them deal with it. Bunch of thugs. What if someone else gets mistaken and an innocent person gets attacked?

The video of it is still being shared on f.b on items for sale etc. It happend in November and people are giving wrong information now.

Completely agree OP

Anyone who cognitively knows they are a pedophile, has actively avoided offending and seeks help should have as much support as they need thrown at them before they ruin anyone’s lives.

I’m not sure what would help but yes I agree with you

@ladyvimes

I think there is not enough money in our society to help everyone and I believe helping paedophiles overcome their obviously wrong urges is not where our money should be spent.

Even if spending that money would reduce the number of children being abused and the cost to society of that?

Some of you may be interested in the work done at the Charité Berling in their Prevention Network Dunkelfeld which has expanded into the network Don't Offend which has links across Europe and may be able to assist elsewhere too.
I'm posting this because it might just help someone out there.

I don't know anything about these paedophile hunters, are they attached to law enforcement in any way or just a bunch of random's?

This thread puts me in mind of the Paedophile Information Exchange and the huge public fall out. I wonder if incidents like that influence our perceptions of paedophiles, creating a climate where we don't want to be associated with them in any way even if it means effective intervention. I doubt any government wants to be associated with such initiatives as it would be seen as costly and maybe as championing the rights of a group of people that are seen as monsters.

Berling?? BERLIN, Germany.

peach Just ransoms who act like wannabe cops. We have had a few in our area and the way the do it is embarrassing to say the least. Actively show the FB live viewers where they are but then screech no one is to turn up etc.

It will be interesting to see what happens when someone who has been "caught" by these stings pleads not guilty and it goes to trial. Many will plead guilty which means the methods aren't being challenged.

Covert operations done by the police are rightly scrutinised and these people aren't trained.

It just breeds hysteria.

I won’t read this thread because I know some of the replies will be triggering, but I wanted to add there’s a programme on soon that may be of some interest.

I am quite interested to know how this works,

I don’t know what the answer is, but if there was someone who didn’t offend, got therapy, castration etc, or simply kept the self away from children through fear they may offend, they’d have no problems from me.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5276339/Inside-isolated-community-dubbed-Miracle-Village.html

I'm worried about it becoming normalised and think this is the thin end of the wedge - paedophilia being a condition which deserves pity. I suspect the next step might be arguing that the poor dears deserve to have sex abuse images - first computer generated, and the path will go on from there.

We are well on the road to normalisation with children being railroaded down the trans path. After all, if children are sentient enough to choose their gender, why can't they choose to have sex? It all worries me.