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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting mad about not wearing glasses

22 replies

PennyBBT · 16/01/2018 22:18

I wear contact lenses and glasses. In he evenings and mornings there's usually a few moments when I pop to the kitchen to get a drink before I put in my contacts or my glasses . I can see things if they are about 30cm in front of me but anything further is blurry as hell.
Anyway, this isnt usually an issue for my partner as I never ask him stuff when I'm not wearing them but tonight I asked if he could read the time on the oven for me. Baring in mind, he was in a good mood, he then snaps at me getting all annoyed about not being able to see stuff and apparently he gets annoyed abut me squinting to see the tv if I'm due for a check up or wearing a slightly weaker pair of glasses.
AIBU not wearing my glasses all the time
Or
IHBU getting annoyed about it?

Xxx

OP posts:

WannabeMathematician · 16/01/2018 22:22

Do you walk round accidently giving him squinty evil eyes when you don't have your glasses on? My mum used to do this for a bit and we all though she was angry at us but she couldn't see!

It is bad for you eyes to strain them like that but there was no need for him to be rude.

Original poster

PennyBBT · 16/01/2018 22:32

Noooo I try my best to only.squint when trying to look for.stuff as I had that a lot as a child x

OP posts:

magimedi · 16/01/2018 22:34

LTB!

(Just wanted to be the first in with a truly (bad) piece of MN advice :grin)

Mimsy123 · 16/01/2018 22:36

It's a bit much, him snapping at you like that. Has he ever intimated that he has a problem with you not wearing glasses?

Saltandsauce · 16/01/2018 22:37

He sounds lovely 😐
You should start pointing out things he does that slightly irritate you and snap at him, see how he likes it!!

WhiskeySourpuss · 16/01/2018 22:43

Just put your glasses on!

If you need them to see anything further than 30cm away then you obviously need them all the time - putting my glasses on is the first thing I do in the morning & taking them off is the last thing I do at night. If I take my lenses out I put my glasses on straight away... I can read the time on the oven without them I just wouldn't want to.

stickytoffeevodka · 16/01/2018 22:44

It's not good for your eyes to make them strain like that.

Just wear your glasses!

meredintofpandiculation · 16/01/2018 22:46

He's BU to express anger at you for not being able to see stuff. I can understand, if he's a problem-solving type (the sort of person who, when you come home wanting a good winge about a dreadful boss, instead of sympathising gives you 'advice" on how to stop the boss's behaviour) that he might feel irritated at you squinting when to his mind the solution is so simple. But any reasonable person would keep that irritation to themselves.

MirandaWest · 16/01/2018 22:46

I can't see why you don't put your glasses on when you wake up. Wouldn't that make things easier?

TroysMammy · 16/01/2018 22:51

I wear glasses for close up, my DP wears them for distance. When we are out and my glasses are in my bag and I need to read something eg a price, he obliges. If it's something in the distance and he has taken his glasses off and requires information then I assist. Neither of us gets arsey with the other.

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 16/01/2018 22:55

I honestly don’t understand why you won’t put your glasses on the second you get up if your RX is that bad? It doesn’t even take a second, what’s the point of squinting and struggling to see things?

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 16/01/2018 22:57

Total over reaction from your dp. I wear glasses all the time i have terrible eyesight - can barely see 20cm in front of me but i know where everything is at home so dont always wear my glasses. They are uncomfy and bloody annoying steaming up when im cooking or slipping off my face whilst cleaning.

MagicWillHappen · 16/01/2018 22:59

If you can only see 30cm then I'd imagine you're really short sighted...what's your prescription (out of interest only!)

I'm very shortsighted and keep my glasses on my bedside table...they go on as soon as I wake. Why not just put them on?

MagicWillHappen · 16/01/2018 23:02

nocuts you need new glasses. They shouldn't be slipping off whilst cleaning. I've been on a rollercoaster with mine on (mistakenly...totally forgot to remove them) and they stayed in place.

Skowvegas · 16/01/2018 23:04

He's not being particularly reasonable, but tbh when I was that short-sighted I always just put my glasses on.

NeverUseThisName · 16/01/2018 23:27

I'm even more short-sighted. My glasses go on as soon as I sit up to get out of bed, or earlier if I want to talk to someone.

But, by evening, my eyes are sometimes really tired and I struggle with my varifocals. Then I find coping with everything being out of focus less stressful than my varifocals, so I often take my glasses off.

Ds also found it a weird thing to do. It bugged him because it felt wrong to him. He was occasionally grumpy about it, but was never rude or nasty to me about it. I suspect that that is more about how we treat each other in general, than about my glasses-use in particular.

Dh is also short-sighted and wears glasses, but nothing like as strong as mine. In the past 6-12m he has started to find it difficult to focus on very near things. Now he, too, takes his glasses off to read at night, and instead holds the book very close.

He now rarely comments about me going without my glasses.

Rainbunny · 17/01/2018 01:16

Is it possible that you asking him to tell you read the clock/read something because you can't see has been bugging him for ages? We all get annoyed by our partner's habits and small things build up until someone explodes. My Father wears hearing aids (it took years to get him to admit he was even going deaf, whole other story) but now he has them he often doesn't bother to turn them on and then keeps asking us to repeat what we've said in a louder voice. It drives my poor mum crazy!

scottishdiem · 17/01/2018 03:28

I have a similar level of short sightedness. It would never occur to me to not put my glasses on as soon as I got up. I often wear contacts but they go in a bit later as part of my morning routine.

Yes your DP was wrong for snapping but why ask someone to be your eyes when you have glasses? Its clear you are in denial about some aspects of your eyesight (why wear incorrect lens strength glasses at all?). That would get irritating.

Cavender · 17/01/2018 04:13

Just keep your glasses handy and stick them on.

hevonbu · 17/01/2018 04:52

He's overly irritated, maybe something else is nagging him if he gets annoyed over such a trivial issue? How's it going over at his workplace?

What is annoying though is when you've put your glasses somewhere but cannot see where they are. I have a spare pair in a drawerso I can use those when I go look for mislaid glasses... or I ask family members if they've seen them somewhere...

Original poster

PennyBBT · 17/01/2018 08:55

To everyone asking about me not putting on my glasses. Even with glasses that are the right prescription as my contact lenses for some reason they make me feel light headed when I switch from both. Sometimes I need a minute not to wear anything. Plus I know where things are in my house. I don't think it's a minute it's him because I never asked him to be my eyes! X

OP posts:

NeverUseThisName · 17/01/2018 13:14

Absolutely agree! When I used still used single-vision glasses, and often wore contacts, I could not just switch straight from one to the other. I needed 10-15 mins without vision aids, otherwise I was dizzy and disorientated.

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