Where do you find space?

[MrsMaxwell]

To have a good cry sometimes?

I feel like I have no space. House always has someone in it wanting feeding or something have DS1 20 and his GF 18 who stays a lot, and is often here whe he isn’t (which is fine shevis lovely) DD 18 and they are all in and out from shift work and college etc then DS2 is 15 and here obviously and then DSDs EOW. I just feel like if me and OH (who is only here on weekends) want any space we have to go to a hotel or if like today I want to come home after a shite day and have a little cry I can’t as I don’t want to tell any of the kids why I am upset

Does anyone else feel like this? I know it’s hard for the older ones to move out these days but sometimes I just wonder when I can just have a bit of me time in my own home.

I also never know where anyone is or when they are going to be in despite asking several million times for them to let me know shift patterns etc.

This morning I had a good cry in the living room while DH worked upstairs and DS was at nursery.

Having 'me' time and crying are two completely different things though surely?

If I want 'me' time, I take a book or the laptop to the bedroom.

If I was upset about something and felt the need to cry, I suppose I'd do that in the bedroom too.

I use to squeeze in a little cry in the shower.

Seriously, it was 2 years ago when I had the whole house completely to myself for a whole day and night lol it was heaven!

I guess for today, your bedroom is the best option for the cry :( Hope you're ok

I feel a bit surrounded in the bedroom as DD next door and DS1 and GF above me. I don’t mean me time I guess as I could go for a walk but just having a shit week and it’s not things I want to tell the kids.

Last night I was just watching TV alone and DS1 GF came in and wanted to chat all over the programme I was watching and I think it’s lovely she wants to do that but yday I was knackered as had travelled 4 hrs to
A funeral.

It's not necessarily a terrible thing for kids of that age to realise you're a human being who sometimes gets upset too. Don't be hard on yourself. I'm sorry for your recent loss; I'm sure your children would welcome the chance to comfort you and give you a hug.

I get into the car, drive somewhere, park, blub, drive home again.

Bluelady I sometimes go for a drive and cry but I hate it when you stop in traffic and someone spots you - I guess I am a really private cryer and I hate crying in front of other people.

The funeral was a friend of OH so I was more supporting him really - we just have other serious stuff going on which we don’t really want to tell anyone which I guess makes it harder to ask anyone for support.

I don't cry in traffic. I park somewhere private.

In the bathroom. Or do you need to do loud sobbing.

If you need to cry regularly you probably need to talk about it. I don't really think that's normal. If it's a shit day/after a funeral/etc - fair enough. The 'kids' are actually grown ups who should be mature enough to bugger off and give you some space if you want it. Hope you're OK OP

I don’t really plan crying!

I would excuse myself if I suddenly started crying in front of someone I didn’t want to cry in front of though. I’d probably go to the kitchen and have some quiet time listening to radio or make a cup of tea in those circumstances.

Jeez I sound awfully repressed there don’t I?! Stiff upper lip and cup of tea!

No it’s not regular. We just have a specific ongoing issue atm which came to a head today which I do not really want the kids to know about.

Could you perhaps ask your OH to take everyone out for the day so you can have some time to yourself? Or try and take everyone for dinner bar yourself (make up an excuse) I'm sure he would oblige.

He’s only here on weekends atm which is part of the problem.

I would blast some music in the bedroom and lock the door and cry over that. Sorry to hear it's tough times.