to expect members of dh's family to acknowledge my birthday???

[nally]

it was a month ago... no cards, no phone calls, no presents from any of them

as one whose birthday is sporadically remembered by dh family no your not unreasonable do you remember theirs? I tend now to let dh remember adn deal with their birthdays (it makes it all easier to deal with)

Oh, thats awful.
Do you generally get on with your IL's?
Happy Belated Birthday!

Personally I think that birthdays are only a big thing for children and I don't expect anyone other than my dh and my parents (and sometimes my brother) to remember it. I certainly don't bother to remember any of my in-laws birthdays, although they are all in Asia so it's not as though I see them very much. I'm not sure whether my parents remember dh's birthday, I don't think they do.

So perhaps you are being a little unreasonable. Do they remember your dc's birthdays? If they don't then I think you could be justifiably annoyed.

Im in the same postion and DH does his side and I do mine..you arent being unreasonable-but you arent alone..
DH's family have not once in 9 months even called to see how I am doing, (am pg and due in May), even when I had a car accident, not one call..
I guess some families are like that..

Would you value their recognition. If you dislike them then I think it doesn't matter but if you get on then I think it is 'unfriendly' of them, particularly if you celebrate their birthdays.

My inlaws don't bother usually

I don't really care

I try to think of presents as a nice surprise rather than as something I am entitled to

get cross on ds's account when not even a card or phone call on his day though

You married their son not them. Why does it matter ?

My mum would actually moan and gripe if she did get a card from her ILs. I would always be wrong somehow.

If you get on with your ILs you can be . If you don't get on with them just ignore it. Its not worth it.]

^^^

BTW fancy playing alittle cat and mouse?

Catch me if you can!!!!!

I suppose its because we all have always made a big thing of birthdays, because it is so out of character is why i feel hurt by it

But in my experience british people are just not very big on birthdays.

They never invite the family over for a meal. They do send a card and they do get the children a present, but it is not something they (my husband's family) consider an event worth celebrating, unless of course they turn 50, 60 or the like.

In my country, we sing for the birthday boy/girl/man/woman to wake them up, presents in bed, nursery/school friends are invited over, then the family in the evening, with singing, presents, flags and cake.

I always invite the family over for both the children's, mine and my husband's birthday. Everytime it is like they don't know what to do with themselves, and it got really akward to begin with. Not once have we been invited to their birthdays(apart from when my father in law turned 60 and the entire - 80 people - family got invited). We have invited ourselves a few times.

I just think that your birthday is a huge thing. It is YOUR day, and you should be celebrated. So BIG belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. Make sure that the family spoils you rotten next year. Show them how it is done.

Dh is one of 7 and we have to turn up for every single one of their birthdays and no-one ever remembers mine. We have been together for 7 years and I am the longest standing in-law in the family. I even have a birthday in the same month as two of them and I am still left out. I have actually been at birthday bashes closer to my birthday than anyone elses but still not been acknowledged!!

Hey ho!

You are not alone! Last year my FIL phoned me on my birthday. I thought, wow - he remembered! But no, he called to ask something else and never mentioned my birthday once. I should be grateful thought,last year I had a card from them. It was addressed to me in my maiden name! How hard can it be to remember I have the same sodding surname as them and have had for 15 bloody years!!!

nope... my inlaws never bother with me, never have done.

Result is I completely give up trying with them a few years ago.

We send 42 cards a year. It is mad. I know it is 42, becasue we write them on the celandar , and often have 4 or 5 a month ! But then I love dh's family and they all send me a card aswell.

But really... 42 !!!!!!

so, do you think it is fair for me now to not bother with any of their birthdays, or should i carry on being nice?

lol - am nally

Mine never remember mine. I don't care really. They have quite enough to remember with my four kids and they're pretty good on that score.

i wouldn't worry - some people just dont do that sort of thing. also i think when kids come along, focus shifts to them.

my idea would be to get your dh to ask them to babysit so he can take you out!- then they would be acknowledging your birthday in a really great way!!

It wouldn't really bother me if I received a card from IL's or not.

I usually get card and present from FIL and MIL, don't expect anything from BILs, maybe a text from SIL.

DH occassionally gets a card from my dad, when I have reminded him often enough. Nothing from my sister.
My family are just like that.

Quite wierdly my MIL gives me bday presents but not to dh . I think that's wierd and unfair to him.