To think my friend is being unfair about her daughter

[user1485342611]

My friend's daughter (my Goddaughter) is 16 and a really lovely girl. She's got a small circle of good friends, most of who she's met through her running club, and is happy hanging around with them - going to the cinema, out for pizza etc.

However my friend is constantly agitating about the fact that she never seems to go to parties or discos, hasn't got a boyfriend, most of her friends are very quiet etc etc.

A few days ago she told me that she's worried her dd is 'not popular enough' and when I asked her what she meant it seems to boil down to the fact that she's not part of some cool crowd who are invited to everything and are 'leaders of the pack' type.

AIBU to think she's being a bit ridiculous. Her daughter is happy, has friends and an interest that takes up lots of her time. She's not up in her bedroom all day staring at a screen and refusing to go out and socialise with anyone.

Your friend sounds a bit of a knob, OP.

She's been watching too many teen dramas.

When I was a teenager I wasn't part of the 'cool' group. I had my own gang and we were much better because we had individuality and didn't wear the same outfits as each other and anyone that was bored or lonely could hang out with us as we were very inclusive. Your friend's daughter would have fit right in. Her mother, not so much

Her mum is bonkers, truly madly bonkers.

Her DD is happy and has good friends and not out getting drunk, stoned or into trouble.

What the hell is wrong with her mum?!

Your friend has the dream daughter but longs for the nightmare! Very strange.

This is very odd, I desperately hope that my DD is like hers when she's a teen, rather than the drinking/smoking/sexually active teen I was!!

I think that teenage years are hard, not just for the kids themselves but for the mothers as well!!! We remember what it was like to be that age and how emotions and social circles play a big part in that period of our life. I think that it can cause unnecessary worry for a parent especially as we got lots of advice on how to parent toddlers but not so much on teenage parenting advice. My dd is only 11 but is very much showing us teenage behaviour and I am an emotional mess when it comes to her. I hate to admit this but I think that I can be a bit like your friend but it comes from a good place. My dd is quite introvert and I worry about her being lonely. And while I know I'm being silly when I worry about the stupid things that really are no big deal as an adult it's sometimes hard to stop the worrying thoughts. Sometimes I just long for someone to say "she's doing fine and will continue to be fine as she journeys into adult life". Maybe your friend is crying out for some validation that her dd is on the right path. Xxx

Perhaps your god daughter is rebelling?

She sounds ace I would be delighted if my daughter ends up like that. Her mother is bonkers though.

Who goes to discos at age 16?

I think you mean in 2017.

In 1975, sure.

Hello! It’s 2018! 🐥

@LemonysSnicket yes! Who goes to discos anymore full stop? Do they exist??