Friends?

[Lunaticmagnet87]

I'm 30, I found it hard to make friend through my youth, I had a few close friends in secondary school. My best friends was probably my cousin. But after a major family feud we drifted apart. I haven't spoke to any of them since I left school.

After school, college and uni I never really made any good friends. I don't have any friends as a adult. I don't go out to socialise, if I go out it's with my parents, brother or my partner. I don't have that go-to friend that I talk to everything about or ask advice that I can't ask my partner.

Is it weird I don't have a social circle outside my close family?

Should I make more of a effort to?

It is probably unusual but it's only a problem if you're unhappy with the situation. Would you like more friends?

Have you got anything in common with the people at work?

I'd spose like to have someone I could talk to about stuff that I just can't with my close family. I think finally joining here is a part of that.

You should definitely try to make more. But it's not weird. I had few good friends for years. I have loads now

I do have a few friends who are close, but not many. You could count them on one hand and have a finger or two spare.

I have 3 sisters and we socialise together a lot and I do actually count them as my best friends. Friends can come and go, but you always have your family, who are usually on your side.

I am aware this is not the case for some people, but what I'm saying is that I don't think it's weird at all to do most of your socialising with your family.

I think your best option is to see if you can find new friends among your neighbors, people tend not to socialise much with colleagues outside work. If you have a hobby that might work too.

I had no friends as a teen or a child. I didn’t really have any good friends until I was in my 30s.
It can happen

It's not always the case to have a family.

Thinking about it my closest friends I have now are people I have met since having DC, and people at work. I am not in touch with anyone from school.

DB on the other hand is still really good friends with everyone he went to school and Uni with.

But YY use MN to chat, there's friendly people on here.

I work in a very small company there no more that around 10-15 people. 3 of them management. Im pretty much stuck in the middle, there's a older generation and a younger generation. Then me, not that I judge them for what they like to do. It's frustrating cos I get on well with all of them, But we all have nothing in common.

Do you want friends? Friends do take some effort (one sided friendships cause resentment) , but can bring a lot to your life. If you just feel that you ‘should’, rather than this is a person who you enjoy spending time with, it will be a difficult friendship imo.

I’m a similar age and the same as you. I have a friend from school that I could text/call if I really needed to but other than that I don’t really have any friends. If you’re happy as you are then no, there’s no need to make more effort. Only do that if you want to.

I'm the same. 29 no friends. My ex use to find it extremely weird. Must be do I've found.

I think it’s very hard to make friends as an adult woman past a certain age.

Most*

I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss people out of your age group as not suitable either. I’m 51 and have friends (close enough to go away and have nights out with) who are in their late 20s, then 30s/40s/50s/60s, and a fabulous lady in her 70s who loves walking up big hills! I’d be missing out on a lot if I just stuck to my own age group.

I'm very comfortable in my own company (maybe to comfortable) but sometimes I think it would just be nice to have a friends I could talk to.

I wouldn't dismiss anyone at any age. I think you have to have something in common to be able to connect as friends.

I don't know if you're planning to have children but I found that I made friends more easily during the baby/toddler/primary school phase than previously. We'd moved from somewhere else and working long hours I didn't exactly have much opportunity to socialise out of work. I never really liked making friends at work or at DP's work dos.

I know many people hate them but I enjoyed NCT, mum/toddler groups and even PTA activities at nursery/infant school. Our DCs are teenagers now but most of my friends are from that period, even if the DCs aren't necessarily close anymore.

Same here Sugar, one of my best friends is ten years younger than me but I met her on day one of YR1 with PFB. We are still friends, the PFBs are now 18 and wouldn't recognise each other in the street.

I am friends with a few of the neighbours too. Of all ages. We drink lots of tea.

Same here Sugar, one of my best friends is ten years younger than me but I met her on day one of YR1 with PFB. We are still friends, the PFBs are now 18 and wouldn't recognise each other in the street.

I am friends with a few of the neighbours too. Of all ages. We drink lots of tea.

You do have something in common with your work colleagues: work

Have you had a look at meetup.com? There are loads of things going on that would help you to meet new people on there

Having kids has definitely made it easier to make friends. I have always been shite at making and keeping friends, but I've got better as I've got older. If you want to make friendships, then it will some effort and reaching out on your side, but it will be worth it.

I'm 37 and my friendship group is from 22-65. My closet friends are 32 37, and 41. The one that is 32, has become my friend in the last 2 months, and we have become very close. She is best friends with the 41 year old. So we now make up a 3.

The 37 year old, was a friend in nursery, then we lost touch until 3 years ago when I became her neighbour. Now I can't remember life without her!

But before that I had friends, and I have those that I know will be there even if I don't see them. If something is wrong I know I can turn up at their house and be welcomed. But I don't see them weekly, monthly etc.

So I didn't have friends that I spoke to every day, phoned to have a moan, go shopping with, go to the cinema or a meal etc. And I was content with that.

What I'm saying is- friendships can happen at any time with any age. And sometimes in the most unexpected of places!