Pls help

[lina38]

Posting here for traffic.

I need some advice on who I can contact for advice!

Long story short, my ex is displaying worrying signs of mental health. I've always suspected something but now it's intensifying and I'm worried about how it may affect the kids.

I called him tonight to ask him not to allow the children on their devices at bedtime as I don't do it here and it's affecting their schooling and attitude. He said ok but then out of nowhere, started talking about politics, conspiracies, aliens, the government poisoning our children with vaccines, chemtrails, the devil, the clintons... I could go on!

It's always concerned me that he held such extreme views but since I've left him (4 years ago) he seems to have invested his whole life into his conspiracy theories. According to my kids, he tells them about this every day and shows little interest in what's going on in their life. But- they love him and still want to see him. Kids are 8,10 and 15.

I've contacted SS and spoken to solicitors in the past regarding my concerns for neglect (whole other thread) but they didn't deem it serious enough. I was also told my concerns wouldn't hold up in court if I went for supervised access.

As it stands we have a 50/50 informal custody. The thing is, I don't wish him bad. I feel sorry for him. But I can't insist he gets help as he sees nothing wrong and would flip if I suggested otherwise. But more to the point, I worry about my kids and what their heads are being filled with. And, if he does something dramatic one day and harms them and himself.

He sounded like a lunatic. I don't wanna put the kids through hell again only to be told the courts can't enforce anything!

Pls help

I think you need to consider whether the benefits of continuing contact outweighs stopping it whilst he's clearly unwell. I'd contact social services, ask for advice and see if they can do an assessment.

There seems to be a correlation between posters with the word dad in their username and aggressive nasty responses. It is almost like they have come on here to pick a fight with mums.

Thank you Trueheart. Pretty hard reading a post like that knowing I've posted here because I'm worried about my children's wellbeing.

I could write a book in the issues I have with my ex. But my main concern was how I could keep them safe and who to contact seeing as previous pleas to relevant agencies have failed.

You read about tragedies in the paper where a parent has killed themselves along with their children due to severe mental health issues. I don't want that to be my family! I feel I have taken all the steps I can to protect my kids, but until something specific happens in which I meet the threshold, my hands are tied.

It's so sad and frustrating

Thank you walking. Unfortunately I've had no joy from SS. My case doesn't reach the criteria for their involvement. I've been referred 3 times to families first, but they don't hold any power and he has refused to cooperate on all occasions. My solicitor told me that while my concerns are valid, it wouldn't hold up in court.

Justmature. My point is that I stated that I was posting in aibu for traffic rather than I asking aibu, as I know that I'm not. I also said that I was cutting a long story short as I wanted information on something specific.

Also, you can't honestly think anyone in their right state of mind would come out with all that political and scaremongering shit during a completely different and unrelated conversation? And more so to bombard their kids on a regular basis with this nonsense? I feel the content in my op was very relevant to the issue at hand.

there would also be the danger in pursuing this that if it came to nothing, it is ammunition for him in a harassment case..

This is what bothers me. I hear a lot of this from people and that concerns me that I have to tread so carefully in case it backfires on me, yet he is free to continue as he pleases. God forbid anything happens to my children, and the people high up will say "but why didn't you protect your children"

Seems I'm damned if do and dames if I don't.

Last message should have had this in quotes. Sorry.

there would also be the danger in pursuing this that if it came to nothing, it is ammunition for him in a harassment case..

Could you try the GP or health visitor and just explain and say you want it recording somewhere that you have concerns. I'd also email or write to head of social services/children's services and again ask for your concerns to be recorded. Even if nothing is done you've asked for help. Also ask them if they can't help what you should do to safeguard the children.