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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that MIL's marriage isn't legal?

31 replies

User197923462135 · 15/01/2018 17:11

My MIL got married in a hospital whilst her DH was admitted in the Palliative Care Unit. He died 4 days later.
She has since acted appallingly towards his son; refusing to release his fathers ashes so they could spread them, not allowing him to have any of his fathers possessions, etc.
The son has now contested the Will as he's saying that they were together less than two years and he deserves some of what she has been left.
(Apologies if this gets messy and difficult to follow!)
He has then said that when they gave notice of marriage, they put a hotel as their venue and that the notice of marriage was specifically linked to that hotel. He's then saying that considering their wedding was conducted at a different location and different county, that the notice of marriage is nullified and therefore the marriage is not legal.
I think he is correct. When my DH and I went to give our notice, the registrar told us that if we decide to change the venue, we would need to reapply for a marriage license and give notice again.
AIBU to think that the Son is right and should I say anything to MIL or DH?

OP posts:
c3pu · 15/01/2018 17:15

I would keep well out if I were you.

Spartaca · 15/01/2018 17:17

Sounds a bit like your MAIL ought to reconsider her attitude to his kids, as she may well have fucked up.

NewYearNewMe18 · 15/01/2018 17:17

Was a marriage certificate issued? The registrar is unlikely to have conducted a 'fake' wedding.

PinkHeart5914 · 15/01/2018 17:18

Honestly I’d stay out of it.

I highly doubt grieving Mil will thank you for saying anything

WhooooAmI24601 · 15/01/2018 17:19

Surely the ordained person conducting the wedding would have picked up on this if it'd not been legal or right?

Pugsleypugs · 15/01/2018 17:20

It doesn't sound like the marriage is legal but this should have been, or would have been, flagged up at the time by the registrar surely?

Either way, I would stay way out of it and hope your MIL with no morals doesn't turn on you or your DH one day.

Fattymcfaterson · 15/01/2018 17:20

Did FIL not leave a will?

DriggleDraggle · 15/01/2018 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slitherout · 15/01/2018 17:20

Technically he's correct but I also very much doubt a registrar would have helped fake a wedding, there may be details he's missing. I'm certain circumstances, such as extreme illness, you can get dispensation for the giving notice bit so they may have reapplied without any waiting period.

bordyBored · 15/01/2018 17:20

Is "the son" your DH?

Stay out whilst quietly supporting your husband (who's unlikely to be thinking too clearly).

EggysMom · 15/01/2018 17:20

It may be that a Registrar Generals Licence was sought to allow the marriage to take place with very short notice and at the hospital. (This would have been after and separate to the original Notice.)

Original poster
User197923462135 · 15/01/2018 17:21

I really sympathise with the son. I would never say anything to her as wouldn't want to rock the boat but she has been absolutely abhorrent.

A marriage certificate was issued. I don't mean that the wedding was fake. I'm just wondering where she stands legally if the notice and license was given to be conducted at a different location and county.

OP posts:
GoJetterGirl · 15/01/2018 17:23

Can I recommend that you ask this to be moved to legal? There are some MNers who work in the legal field who may be better able to advise you OP.

Original poster
User197923462135 · 15/01/2018 17:24

EggysMom Could this have been done on the same day as the wedding? She was told by the hospital that he wasn't expected to survive the next 48 hours so got married the same day.

OP posts:
NewYearNewMe18 · 15/01/2018 17:24

I would find out if a new emergency licence was issued before stirring the pot.

Mitzimaybe · 15/01/2018 17:29

It seems likely that the original notice stating the hotel was abandoned and they married under the Emergency Weddings/Civil Partnerships in Hospital arrangements.

"When asked if a marriage or civil partnership is possible on the ward the following needs to be established:
The patient is not expected to recover
The patient is unable to leave hospital
The patient is able to give informed consent and is of sound mind
If all of the above criteria have been met then those facts need to be put in a letter written by the patient’s consultant and faxed to the relevant registrar. Please ensure you have also established that neither person is currently married/in a partnership and have the documents they require to prove they are able to marry/ be in a partnership.
In an emergency the registrar can only perform a civil ceremony...

An emergency registrar, as long as they have all the required documentation can perform the ceremony on the same day."

So basically no notice needs to be given so long as all the documentation is in order. So no reason to think that the wedding isn't legally valid.

steppemum · 15/01/2018 17:29

I am guessing that there are special circumstances where the bans etc are waived.
I would imagine hospital emergency wards fall under those.

I am not in any way legal, but I think he stands chance if he contests what she is doing in court BUT it will cost loads.

Pengggwn · 15/01/2018 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigbluebus · 15/01/2018 17:30

In the BBC drama 'Love, Lies and Records' which was on TV recently a man and woman visited the registry office in the morning to register the birth of their baby and the woman had terminal cancer. The registrar arranged for them to get married at the hospice that same afternoon under some sort of special licence. Assuming the BBC/scriptwriter checked their facts, then it is possible to get married without giving the usual notice in certain circumstances. So it is possible that the marriage is Legal.

LottieProsser · 15/01/2018 17:34

A will is automatically revoked on marriage unless it refers to the impending marriage naming the spouse. So if the marriage was valid she could inherit under intestacy rules even if the son was the main or only beneficiary of the will. Whether she gets everything depends on amount he left.

Viviennemary · 15/01/2018 17:37

I think you have the right to know if the marriage is valid or not. Perhaps there was a special arrangements because of your fil's life limiting illness. You should ring your local registry office and see if they can point you in the right direction for finding out if the marriage is legal.

Mitzimaybe · 15/01/2018 17:38

Marriage revokes any existing wills unless they were made in anticipation of the marriage. So unless the husband did this or drew up a will after the marriage, he died intestate. This means the new wife gets 2/3 of the estate and the remaining 1/3 is divided between any children. If the son you are talking about is the only child then he gets 1/3 of the estate.

Panga63 · 15/01/2018 17:45

A family friend recently married his long time partner in a hospice - by registar's special/emergency licence. Very short notice as he was gravely ill. Maybe that's what OPs MIL and H did?
The son needs to speak to a solicitor and raise his concerns about fathers estate, will (or lack of) and marriage.
Stay clear - it won't end well!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/01/2018 17:48

Slightly off topic but do you think she married in order to inherit?

autumnboys · 15/01/2018 17:52

You can get a marriage licence at very short notice - less than 24 hours- if someone is terminally ill. I work in a church office & had cause to need to know a couple of years ago. Regardless, your MIL isn’t behaving very well - was the bereavement very recent? Perhaps she’ll come to her senses. Flowers