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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I really don't think I was unreasonable....

29 replies

MyOtherUsernameIsHilarious · 15/01/2018 09:24

Me and DH usually spend all day Sunday doing stuff together

Yesterday morning DH said he wanted to watch some sport for about three hours in the morning on his own.

I had a pile of work emails because I took Friday afternoon off work so I spent some of these three hours clearing my inbox so I could have an email free Monday.

When DH had finished watching it, he came into the dining room where I was just finishing off my emails.

He asked what I'd been doing and I told him honestly that I'd spent about an hour doing my emails.

He was really pissed off and said I was making him feel guilty for spending some time on his own on Sunday. Apparently me doing my emails when he's having fun puts too much responsibility on him because it's as though I can't have fun on my own (i.e. when he goes off to have fun, I just work until he comes back and we can have fun together).

I told him that my fun doesn't depend on him and I'm imaginative enough to have fun on my own when he's off watching sport. It's just that at that moment, what I really wanted to do was clear my emails so that I could have an email-free Monday.

So, was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
QOD · 15/01/2018 09:25

No
He’s a dick. HTH

I’d have probably changed bedding or something boring house worky

Whatthefoxgoingon · 15/01/2018 09:25

No. What the hell is he on about?

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 15/01/2018 09:25

Eh? He's being ridiculous.

Quartz2208 · 15/01/2018 09:27

YANBU - you can do what you want

NancyDonahue · 15/01/2018 09:28

He's pissed off with you for not doing something fun while he watches sport? What a twat.

Trills · 15/01/2018 09:29

He said what he wanted to do.

You can do as you please while he does that.

If he thinks you are "making him feel guilty" that's his problem.

MelloDee · 15/01/2018 09:29

Huh? He's feeling guilty for choosing footy over you but has instead decided that's your fault

He's a div

Appuskidu · 15/01/2018 09:30

Does he normally behave like such a nob?!

BitOutOfPractice · 15/01/2018 09:30

I don’t understand. Did he reckon you were sulking because he was watching sport.

By the way, is saying “sport” like a “hobby” on mn. Saying the sport would bf too outing

Assburgers · 15/01/2018 09:30

You just shifted your fun from Sunday to Monday. Tell him that. He’s being an idiot tho.

Deshasafraisy · 15/01/2018 09:30

Wow, he sounds like he is very high maintenance.

Original poster
MyOtherUsernameIsHilarious · 15/01/2018 09:33

I don't think he thought I was sulking, just that I was waiting (like some kind of abandoned puppy) for him to come back so I could start having fun.

I said "sport" because he wanted to catch up on a few games of various sports he'd missed- snooker, NFL, some other boring shit...

OP posts:
Wakeuptortoise · 15/01/2018 09:33

Just go out without him for 3hrs next weekend. All square then.

justinelibertine · 15/01/2018 09:33

He said he wanted to watch football. He meant, that he was going to watch football and wanted you, op, to sit at his feet and watch him watch it.

Trust me, I have a prized knob who does the same.

weekfour · 15/01/2018 09:33

My DH gets this odd guilt thing too. He won’t watch telly if I’m cleaning the bathroom (or doing some other house related chore). I think it’s because he feels guilty that he’s not pulling his weight generally.

I tell him that I’ll take my ‘credit’ when it suits me. Which is usually when I want a lie in and he gets up with the DC’s.

midnightmisssuki · 15/01/2018 09:34

what on earth have i just read Confused Your DH is an idiot. HTH.

Original poster
MyOtherUsernameIsHilarious · 15/01/2018 09:34

He's not normally a knob, he's normally great.

He's not high maintenance at all.

I suspect he might have had a bet on and lost Grin

OP posts:
weekfour · 15/01/2018 09:34

Should add it’s usually NFL in our house too. BORE FEST!!

weekfour · 15/01/2018 09:36

Is he tired? I realise that’s making him sound a bit like a toddler... but it happens in our house when DH is tired but doesn’t want to say-look four, I just want to watch crap on telly today. Smile

Original poster
MyOtherUsernameIsHilarious · 15/01/2018 09:36

He said he wanted to watch football. He meant, that he was going to watch football and wanted you, op, to sit at his feet and watch him watch it.

No, not this at all. He wanted me to do something equally fun and enjoyable on my own. So we could come back together and say "I had a brilliant time watching sport" and "I had a brilliant time reading my book" and all would be well. Instead it was "I had a brilliant time watching sport" and "I had an okay time doing some work stuff".

He felt weirdly guilty that he'd had more fun than me I think but I did what I chose to do Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
MyOtherUsernameIsHilarious · 15/01/2018 09:38

weekfour Yep, he's an NFL fan. Whyyyyy?! Nothing ever happens... stand around for five minutes the charge full speed for 15 seconds, then someone blows a whistle, then stand around for another five minutes.

OP posts:
Dagnabit · 15/01/2018 09:43

Ha ha...how daft. My dh is similar when he's lying on the sofa and I'm doing chores. Apparently I make him feel guilty for relaxing when I'm working. Considering that I work half the employed hours that he does, it's really not necessary. I don't want him getting involved tbh he doesn't do it right

TerracottaAmy · 15/01/2018 09:46

said I was making him feel guilty for spending some time on his own on Sunday

no-one can MAKE him feel anything - it is his own choice to feel guilty

Trinity66 · 15/01/2018 09:50

How odd of him to get annoyed about something like that :/

Costacoffeeplease · 15/01/2018 09:53

He really does sound like a knob