To ask for stories of your helpful, switched on DP/DH?

[Carouselfish]

I'm single right now and all I'm seeing in friends' real life, on MN and in my own experience with DD's dad is men who can't get off their smartphones and who don't think to do helpful things with their own children unless prompted.
Tell me they aren't all zoned out, shirking the mental load and that it's worth my time considering getting into another relationship!?

I have been completely useless all weekend: reaction after sending off a large piece of work on Friday. Dh, who works very long hours and must be tired himself, has done all the cooking and washing up, done the weekly shop, worked several hours on the allotment, and made a valiant attempt to upload some difficult photo stuff for me. Hasn't complained once, certainly hasn't needed to be told what to do. I'll do the same for him when things get tough- but that's the thing: we're a team.

DH got up, made breakfast, cleaned and tidied, we all went to the shops, he's taking DD swimming and that's a fairly standard Sunday.

no horror stories here
Hes a competent adult, mostly emotionally healthy. Does most of the pickups dropoffs and clubs stuff for the kids since I work longer hours. Remembers non uniform days and raffle money. Buys his own family Christmas presents and his own clothes. Different priorities and ways of doing things in the house than me but the important bits all get done between us, and he makes great bread. Whenever I have been unwell, heavily pregnant or stressed he has been. Work ethic is amazing: he ended up compromising his career to support mine but has rarely been without a job , he will always find something and put effort into it even if its not his ideal, and when his last workplace was relocated he was fulltime SAHD until he found a new job that was as flexible and well paid as his last one.

So I dont complain about anything but his occasional inability to use a steamer and the fact that all clothes will be washed on a 40 degree cycle without sorting. And he rarely moans about me leaving knives in the sink or spending too much time on mumsnet. Tend not to argue about things, we can have disagreements but they are rarely more than tepid and its always pretty easy to make the big decisions together, and agree on the bigger picture of what matters.

I am a SAHM. DH gets our breakfast ready, does all the washing up and puts the bins out. He also reads to ds every night in bed. That’s all he does on a regular basis and I do everything else, ( but if I asked, he would do whatever I ask). For the past three weeks I’ve been quite ill with this thing going around and during that time he has shopped, cooked and looked after us all. Can’t ask for better can I? x

My DH does just as much —if not more— as me
I am SAHM so I do all the childcare and domestic duties (cleaning, cooking) whilst he is at work then we split it when he gets home.
Split chores, he does bedtime every night, all the getting up in the night and at a weekend I get first lie in (I love my sleep)
I handle all the finances (bills, budgets etc) because we both agree that’s best way; I also do all the house admin like organising birthday parties, buying presents, doing all of Christmas (other than the cooking - if we host then we split that) remembering thank you cards and family birthdays. (I am a stickler for organisation so would rather do al the aforementioned things myself)
It’s an even split and works for us!

My DH does his share of housework normally but here's a one off event that made me happy. I had invited my family over for lunch the next day. I was extremely tired at work and was finishing late, and was dreading having to stay up late tidying up for them when I got home. All day I was thinking about my big list of chores and how long it would take. I didn't text or call DH about this, because he also had a long day at work. But when I got home the place was spotless. DH told me everything is done, I should just go straight to bed. I did :)