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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be jumping up and down with joy that DH's colleague is coming to stay for a week?

13 replies

IdrisTheDragon · 26/04/2007 15:45

Given the full situation, IABU, I know. But I still feel a bit frustrated.

The colleague is about 19 and is on a gap year type thing (she is German and doing this is an alternative to national service). She has been here for about 8 months and has had various misunderstandings with people, and moved out of the house she was living in a few weeks ago (I think she is housesitting for a friend at the moment).

DH said she came into the office today and was upset and so he (naturally) said she could come here until next Thursday. She is going to Germany for some reason then, so there is at least a fixed end point.

I know that if DD (currently 19 months, so obviously in the future) were in a similiar situation that I'd hope someone would be nice to her. But I like my own space. And although it's only a week it feels quite a long time.

DH says she can babysit on Saturday night, which is obviously good .

Please feel free to tell me IABU as I know I am . And I am going out very soon, so please don't think I am (a) ignoring any replies (b) posting and running .

OP posts:
Tigana · 26/04/2007 15:48

Do you know her?
I'd be a little anxious based on the 'various misunderstandings' that she could be awkward to live with. But it is only a week...and there is a fixed end point which is very good thing.

Original poster
IdrisTheDragon · 26/04/2007 15:48

I have met her a few times. And she seems all right as a person. I just like my space .

OP posts:
Katy44 · 26/04/2007 15:51

I'd hate it, I like my own space too. But as long as the misunderstandings didn't involve anything worrying, and as there is a fixed end point, see it as your good deed for the next few months! And plan something nice for Saturday!

goodnanny · 26/04/2007 18:49

Hey it might be a pain in the neck but i guess its just for a few days.
We had a
"friend of a friend" stay with us for 3 and a half months, rent free. it created grief and hell really until i had to kick them out!!! not to mention the wet towels everywhere, piles of washing up and mess in our one and only toilet! Euuugggghhhhhhh

idlemum · 26/04/2007 19:55

Tend to agree with the other posts but would point out that if my dp did something similar , I would expect him to do all the extra work involved - bedding, cooking etc or at least acknowledge it and compensate in some way.

TheWoman · 26/04/2007 20:00

I wouldn't be happy about this either.
It's a lovely thing to do, but I like my space.

WideWebWitch · 26/04/2007 20:03

He should have asked you imo. I wouldn't be happy either. A friend without asking you, for a couple of days, maybe but a WEEK? A colleague? Hmmm. I hope you don't find out why she had to move out of the other house iyswim.

beansprout · 26/04/2007 20:04

Why does he feel that his wife and daughter should have a complete stranger come and stay with them?

Toddlers can easily be unsettled. Is he happy to get up in the night if needed? And who is this woman? I wouldn't invite someone I didn't really know into my home and then leave my child with her.

crunchie · 26/04/2007 20:07

TBH I think you are being unreasonable, I would hope my DH would offer our home to someone if they needed it, as I would.

HOwever that is me, not you, and although I don't understand the 'space' thing I do feel for you. Rant all you like here, but you know you hav eot grimn and bear it!!

Daisybump · 26/04/2007 20:07

not unreasonable at all....I would be spitting chips at my DH if he did this to me, but I am a rather insecure jealous hormonal pregnant type at the mo, so maybe not the best judge

Judy1234 · 26/04/2007 20:43

As long as he's not suggesting a threesome.

Original poster
IdrisTheDragon · 26/04/2007 21:01

Thank you all for the replies .

I have met her a few times before, as have both DS and DD and she is fine as a person. She will also be sleeping in a room slightly apart from the house (used to be a garage I think) so my space requirements are met at least in part. And also she won't get woken up if/when DD has her nighttime wails.

She now isn't coming until tomorrow, which is also good.

DH has also realised that she will be away with work on Monday and Tuesday nights, so my week of having to share the house is only 4 nights I think. Which is perfectly all right.

And as I said, if DD were in a foreign country at a similar age, I would reall hope someone would be kind to her.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 26/04/2007 21:07

As you say you'd want the same kindness extended to your dd, it might not be so bad

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