Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3yo and long drive to school

33 replies

Whoateallthesausages · 14/01/2018 19:39

NC as I've spoken to a few people irl about this and don't want it linked to my regular profile.

Choosing school for our toddler to start at age 3. I'm a teacher in a really good private school and teachers' children get free places. However it's 45 minutes each way in the car.

Local kindergarten is 5 minutes walk and it's a good school but not as good as mine.

I absolutely cannot make my mind up as to what would be better for DC!

WIBU to consider carting DC all the way to my school every day?

OP posts:
Supermagicsmile · 14/01/2018 19:40

Take them to your school!! You're going there anyway. They can sleep in the car!

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 14/01/2018 19:42

If you are going there anyway then I would take them with you - the car journeys will be a lovely chance to
Chat and catch up or listen to story tapes etc

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/01/2018 19:42

Are you likely to stay there?

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 14/01/2018 19:43

Although to be fair - where will her friends be? You don’t want to miss out on local playmates etc - do some of the private school children live locally?

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 14/01/2018 19:44

You might consider moving closer to yours and hers school if you are going to stay there long term

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 14/01/2018 19:44

NU I don't think, unless your DC is particularly distressed by car travel, gets car sick etc? 45 mins is not forever, and surely it will be loads more convenient to have them on site with you than at least 40 mins away? Do you have an OH and if so how far would it be for them to drop off at your school if you were ill for example?

FiloPasty · 14/01/2018 19:44

Use the opportunity!

Original poster
Whoateallthesausages · 14/01/2018 19:44

Testing- it's a lovely place to work so absolutely hoping to stay there for the next 30 odd years!

OP posts:
moreismore · 14/01/2018 19:46

My drive to work and DS is 40 mins each way. Been doing it since he was 1, he sleeps when he needs to, looks out the window and prattles to me the rest of the time. Totally used to it, I wouldn’t worry at all.

moreismore · 14/01/2018 19:46

DS’s nursery that should say!

Original poster
Whoateallthesausages · 14/01/2018 19:47

Rainbows- DH made the same point. Will do all clubs etc locally so could make friends there hopefully. I can see how the friendships might not be quite as strong though.

OP posts:
holasoydora · 14/01/2018 19:48

I would take her with you if only to make your life easier re. pick ups. They could be a proper headache if you work elsewhere as a teacher.

holasoydora · 14/01/2018 19:48

I would take her with you if only to make your life easier re. pick ups. They could be a proper headache if you work elsewhere as a teacher.

TractorTedTed · 14/01/2018 19:48

I suppose it depends on a few things.

Would your dc end up living miles away from friends?
Would you mind teaching at the same school?
What would happen to your dc if he /she goes to a local school? And for that matter, what would happen if he/she goes to your school and you have late meetings etc. I'm just wondering about the before and after school timings.

What age does the school go up to. Is it primary only or all the way to 18, and if so, would the funded place continue until then?

Are you happy there and likely to stay? Would you want to seek promotion in a few years and miss out because you can't change schools without losing school fees?

Original poster
Whoateallthesausages · 14/01/2018 19:49

Mrsmalcolm- atm DC is normally v good in the car. And DH drives past my school on the way to his work, though his job is likely to change at some point.

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 14/01/2018 19:53

No brainer to take her with you assuming she is a good traveller

Dahlietta · 14/01/2018 19:55

We used to do this when we lived 45 minutes away from work, but there was an excellent nursery next door. We also considered that, if DS were to be taken ill or need us, we could get him immediately (and we did once have to pick him up and take him to A&E, which would have been a real pain if we'd been 45 minutes away!)

bluechameleon · 14/01/2018 19:58

My concern would be the journey home. Presumably you won't be leaving until 5ish? If my 3 yr old did a 45min car journey at that time he'd sleep and then bedtime would be messed up.

Original poster
Whoateallthesausages · 14/01/2018 20:01

I'd probably leave at 3.30, or 4.15 max. Still late enough for napping to become problematic I think.

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 14/01/2018 20:02

Our school/Nursery run works out at 1hr 20 mins total (until I can drive), I’d go with the better School OP.

TheHungryDonkey · 14/01/2018 20:06

You get a free place at a really good private school. Wouldn’t be turning that down. It takes us 45 minutes to walk to school.

Seniorcitizen1 · 14/01/2018 20:33

You claim to be a teacher and can’t work this out for yourself - I pity your pupils

RedSkyAtNight · 14/01/2018 20:43

Well, going to go against the grain here - I think 45 minutes a day in a car, or 1.5 hours a day is too much for a small child. They will find it tiring. Or they will nap in the car on the way home and mess up their evening sleep patterns. All very well saying you want her to do clubs locally - but you'll find that many local clubs (especially at the young age, will be easier when older) will have started before you get back in time to do them, or you'll be going straight from school to club (not ideal).

But mainly I think it's a shame that commuting has become so normalised that so many people think this is ok. As an adult I wouldn't like a 45 minutes commute (yes, I'm aware that many folks commute even longer distances) - I certainly wouldn't inflict it on a small child. A lot of the benefits of the perceived better school will be cancelled out by the long journey and impact this will have.

MissWimpyDimple · 14/01/2018 20:46

If you don't take her to your school, how will she get to the local school? Presumably you will have had to leave to get to yours?

I'm not sure I would want my child in the school I work in, but at 3yo this wouldn't be an issue.

littleducks · 14/01/2018 21:00

While 45 minutes drive isn't ideal it probably would make lots of other things easier.

Term time dates will match up and you are more likely to be able to see sports day/ nativity etc. You are nearby in an emergency rather than 45 min away. Will it save you arranging wrap around care?

Invest in some audio books to play on journey and give it a try.