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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this is very sly?

55 replies

Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 17:22

I've been friends with someone for 11 years
We went and seen two movies together and the third one is out in February.
I've asked her for months "are we still going to see this?"
She said yes.
Wednesday I text her saying "you still up for this"
She replied "well a few girls from work want to see it too,thinking about the 11th"
I replied "that sounds great,I deffo want to see it"
No reply
A mutual friend rang tonight and in conversation said
She's already booked yesterday for the 17th
She knew I wanted to go,why not just ask me to go with them?
I honestly feel like she doesn't like me.

OP posts:
kittymamma · 14/01/2018 17:54

Its not that easy to cut her lose though, because of the concert. She is a bit of a bitch. But call her out on it. Ask her to her face why she booked it without you when you had agreed to go together.

She obviously thought that by telling you the girls at work wanted to see it, that she was going with them instead. But that makes it worse doesn't it? She dropped you for them in a heartbeat. What a bitch.

Original poster
Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 17:54

Ha ha can you imagine Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 17:55

Well luckily I have the concert tickets so if a fall out happened I could still go.

OP posts:
HolyShet · 14/01/2018 17:55

Is your mutual friend stirring or has your mate confirmed her plan

Nothing wrong with asking her why and telling her you feel hurt to be let down/left out

but not make a big drama out of it. Shouldn't spoil your friendship or your concert

Rudgie47 · 14/01/2018 17:56

Why are you asking her for months are we still going to see this?
Surely you just need to ask someone once and then its for them to get back you.
If she was bothered about you she should hav easked you to join her and her colleagues.
Let her go and in future with friends just ask a person once and then let them come to you. Dont be chasing people.
Take someone elce to the concert or go by yourself and sell the spare outside.

HolyShet · 14/01/2018 17:56

ok - so she's got form

I'd just not make any more plans with her

has she paid for her concert ticket?

Original poster
Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 17:57

Well this mutual friend is slightly a bit dipsy at times so you never know she might have got things mixed up.
I wouldn't bet on it being wrong tho.

OP posts:
Cloudyapples · 14/01/2018 17:57

If you’ve got he concert tickets op then defs call her out on it - don’t waste a ticket on a bad friend, take someone else to the concert or sell them and get your money back (or make a profit even depending on what the concert is!)

Original poster
Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 17:57

I think I've asked a few times as she's let me down previous,so I just wanted confirmation I guess.

OP posts:
ATeardropExplodes · 14/01/2018 17:58

Can you not do yourself a favour, go see a decent film on your own instead?

Original poster
Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 17:59

It's the script in Dublin.
I think it's nearly a sell out too.

OP posts:
kittymamma · 14/01/2018 17:59

Her concert ticket was her Christmas present from OP.

I'd drop her. She obviously sees you as a back up friend, that will never let her down. Not a nice place to be. Be unavailable next time she wants to do something. It is essential that people don't feel they can treat you like this and you will come running.

[Possibly reading too much into this as I can totally relate]

Original poster
Lljohn32 · 14/01/2018 18:00

I might ask the other friend to come with me as she couldn't make date with mutual friend.

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 14/01/2018 18:01

Yeah, bugger it OP. Go and see it on your own with your head held high. You don't need her to enjoy your film.

GwenStaceyRocks · 14/01/2018 18:01

I understand why you think she should see it with you but I don't think you are taking into account that turning down her work colleagues might create a bad dynamic for her in work or/and taking you along on a work night out would seem odd.
I don't think you would be UR to assume she's still going to see it with you. And if she says she seen it with her colleagues then just laugh and say 'well no spoilers when we see it together'. Don't assume she has ditched you. Make her tell you if that's the case.

Rudgie47 · 14/01/2018 18:02

Why are you letting this friend treat you like this? Fuck her off now and look towards meeting new people who are decent.

MadMags · 14/01/2018 18:17

Text her and say "X mentioned you'd booked tickets for the cinema. Did you get me one?"

Rawesome6 · 14/01/2018 18:20

I'm struggling tbh to see the drama here, what makes her sly.

I would get the upset if she had promised to do something more significant - like do something on your bday, support you by going to a hospital appointment with you. But a showing of a film?

I'd really struggle to get worked up about. &, if I think about it from your friend's perspective, if I'm honest I would struggle to be friends if this kind of situation is turned into a drama.

Friendship is a bit of give and take, people can be a bit fickle or do things on whims. Some periods you are v close to someone and in each other's pickets, others less so. There is ebb and flow. So perhaps she got caught up with the excitement of going to see it with a group of work friends, we can make all kinds of suppositions about why that would be. It may be thoughtless, it may be deliberate - who knows.

But she isn't bound to you, and I'm sure you don't want to come over as possessive....plus you think she is sly, - so would def given second thoughts about chasing her or "calling her out" on this

Maryz · 14/01/2018 18:20

You have tickets for The Script Envy?

llangennith · 14/01/2018 18:22

Ask the ‘friend’ outright:
“I hear you’ve booked tickets. You did book one for me too didn’t you?”

See what she says.

nutnerk · 14/01/2018 18:23

From your comments your friend doesn't sound great - just go with the mutual friend instead, go and enjoy the concert and just keep your guard up a bit. She obviously doesn't put you first, so just be aware of that.

Lalliella · 14/01/2018 18:24

If she’s on MN you’ve probably just outed yourself Shock

Shadow666 · 14/01/2018 18:24

Meh, be petty and go and see it first, then tag yourself in a Facebook post. That'll really annoy her.

mum11970 · 14/01/2018 18:29

Have you actually checked she hasn’t booked you a ticket too. Sounds like you’re taking the word of a 3rd party that she has booked tickets and that you’re not invited. Contacting the friend and asking her directly may be the way to go here.

BashStreetKid · 14/01/2018 18:30

If it's 50 Shades, don't bother. Trust me, she's done you a favour, it's a total waste of time.

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