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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want 18 year old dd to make a will yet?

68 replies

IslaLucy · 14/01/2018 14:48

Dd1 is 18 and in her second term at university. She received a very large amount of money for her 18th birthday (about £50,000) as savings schemes that we and her grandparents had been keeping for her since she was born matured. She is very sensible with this money - she has about half of it in an ISA and half in a regular savings account.

Over Christmas, she told us that she wanted to make a will leaving all this money to her sister, our dd2, who is 14 (and who will, of course, receive a similar amount when she turns 18). She thinks that if she was to die ‘intestate’ then the money would go to us (her parents) and it would be taxed as part of our estate when we eventually left it to her sister, but if she leaves it to her sister directly, as part of an estate worth less than £100,000, then her sister wouldn’t have to pay any inheritance tax.

I know I’m being silly and she’s being very practical, but I just hate the idea of her making a will - it seems so morbid. Does she need a will at 18? Are there any legal downsides?

OP posts:
RubyLennoxExists · 14/01/2018 15:06

Your DD sounds spot on with her analysis and very wise, and she's an adult so it's absolutely her decision.

Glumglowworm · 14/01/2018 15:07

YABU

She sounds far more sensible than you! It’s not morbid to write a will. For any one with assets or dependents or both it’s essential.

She’s 18, so it’s not even up to you what she puts in her will. If you have concerns about her leaving it to DD2 then you can advise her and suggest she leaves it to a trust with DD2 as beneficiary until DD2 is 21. But it’s DD1s decision and she sounds very switched on and sensible.

maddiemookins16mum · 14/01/2018 15:08

Clever girl. I thought (stupidly) that you'd say she £800 and a second hand 2002 Ford Fiesta. She hasn't, it's a large sum of money and it's a sensible thing to do. That said, it is thought provoking to think your child (albeit 18) is looking to make a will so I see your emotional take on it too.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 14/01/2018 15:08

Very sensible. You should be proud of her.

Blackteadrinker77 · 14/01/2018 15:09

It sounds like you have done a great job raising her.

She sounds sensible and level headed.

I believe she should make a will.

mumof2sarah · 14/01/2018 15:11

I agree that it's a good, sensible, thoughtful idea for a young lady of that age to have. It's a scary thought for anyone making a will but it needs to be done, id just encourage your daughter to make sure 1) it's done through a solicitor so everything's written right and 2) it's revised if and when she has her own family if that's what she wishes to do plus any big life steps she revises it too. I did my first will at 19 when I had my first child and I look over it the day after my birthday every year to see if it needs revising.

Sprinklestar · 14/01/2018 15:16

It’s none of your business what she does with her money, is it?

mumblechum0 · 14/01/2018 15:22

My youngest ever client was 18 years 2 weeks old when he made his (albeit it was his mum's idea - she didn't want her ex to get anything if she predeceased her son, then he died shortly after).

A couple of years later I did his brother's will, again as soon as he turned 18.

OP, if your sister does go ahead and make a will, she can future-proof it to some degree by:
a) giving everything to any children she may have at her death
b) saying that if she dies without children, her estate goes to her sister on her 21st/22nd..25th birthday.

As pps have said, IHT is only payable over £325k (and that threshold is more if the testator owns property which they're leaving to a direct descendant)

cathy87 · 14/01/2018 15:22

Making plans for what will happen after she dies would worry me a little bit - is there any chance she’s been feeling depressed? Most likely everything is fine, but just keep an eye on her.

GnomeDePlume · 14/01/2018 15:23

She is being sensible, you are being silly (as you know).

When she makes her will just make sure that she knows and understands that this will stands until she makes another one or gets married.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 14/01/2018 15:23

Its understandable why you can't bring youraelf to think about it but you are letting your head rule your heart. Your daughter is far smarter than i ever was at 18 (or now in my 30's for that metter)

PinkHeart5914 · 14/01/2018 15:24

I inherited a lot of money when I turned 18 and I’ve had a will ever since, it’s just been updated over the years as I’ve had dc etc.

Very smart thing to do!

Nanny0gg · 14/01/2018 15:26

Leave it to her sister in trust till she's 35. She'll be grateful of it then (should the worst happen. Fingers crossed this is hypothetical)

speakout · 14/01/2018 15:34

Sensible, but it's actually not a huge amount of money.

Most of it could easily be gobbled up by a University education.

Original poster
IslaLucy · 14/01/2018 15:36

Thanks everyone. I think I’ll help dd1 look into the idea of putting the money in trust for dd2 until she turns at least 25, should the worst happen.

While Dd2 is lovely, she’s definitely less switched on than dd1. I think it’s sensible to consider the effect a hypothetical bereavement would have on her.

OP posts:
Flamingoingmad · 14/01/2018 15:36

My sibling died very suddenly and unexpectedly at a young (adult) age, they were single & had no will.

It was a terrible thing sorting everything out, at such an awful time. We didn't really know what my siblings wishes were they had never discussed it, there were some family disagreements about things which made the situation even harder. They always thought that there would be tomorrow.

I urge anyone to think about their will, and upsetting as it is now- from experience, unpicking it down the line is a hell of a lot harder.

mishfish · 14/01/2018 15:38

I hope my children are as sensible as yours when they turn 18 OP!

SilverySurfer · 14/01/2018 15:39

YABU and clearly have far less sense than your DD1. There is nothing morbid about having a will, it's something all adults should have.

Mumblechum gives excellent advice : b) saying that if she dies without children, her estate goes to her sister on her 21st/22nd..25th birthday.*

TheFairyCaravan · 14/01/2018 15:39

DS1 made his will when he was 19. He sorted out his life insurance and what he wants for his funeral. He’s in the army so it’s expected.

I do understand how you feel. It took the wind out of my sails a bit. He phoned to tell me about because he knew if he told me face to face I would walk away. Everyone knows it’s sensible to have a will and have your affairs in order but it’s not nice to think that your teenager might die before you.

YearOfYouRemember · 14/01/2018 15:41

Totally not morbid. Fully sensible. Her making a will won't make her more likely to die. She sounds a great woman. She's done well.

missmorleyme · 14/01/2018 15:43

I think she is being sensible, life can be very shitty and bad/sad things can happen to people of all ages. I'm 23 with 3 kids end although I may not have a will, I do on the regular (in passing conversations) let the people who are close to me know what I wish for my funeral if anything would happen too me. Accidents happen all the time, I'm not going to say that won't happen to me, because it can, and that's not morbid, that's life. I'd say she has a wise head on her shoulders, most people her age would pole thru that money without a second thought.

BarbaraofSevillle · 14/01/2018 15:44

Make sure no-one is paying tuition fees or repaying student loans out of this money. It will be totally wasted if the person in question doesn't go on to be a relatively high earner for an extended period.

A will is not morbid, it is sensible ifshe would prefer money to straight to her sister if the worst should happen. Unfortunately no-one knows what we have in store for us and any one of us could be hit by a bus, or drop dead tomorrow, or suffer a terminal illness at any age.

rothbury · 14/01/2018 15:46

Well she sounds a lot more sensible than you to be honest Smile

DramaAlpaca · 14/01/2018 15:49

What a sensible young woman she is.

Winebottle · 14/01/2018 15:50

Definitely has her head screwed on to be thinking about the ins and outs of inheritance tax at 18. I don't think I had even heard of it then.

The only downside is cost. £50,000 is not a large sum. If she spends £500 on a solicitor drawing up a will, that is 1% which is a lot when compared to the chance of her dying suddenly at her age. If I was her I wouldn't bother because it is a very small risk and if it did happen, it would be the last thing anyone was worried about.

I also get your feeling. I hated making wills and signing up for organ donation. It is not nice to consider death as a real possibility. I think it is wise to do it anyway. You shouldn't let emotion get in the way of the efficient decision making.