WWYD? Tinder related

[CuriouserAndCuriouser70]

More of a WWYD than an AIBU, sorry.

My best friend, (let’s call her Harriett), has a BF, (let’s call him Kevin), who she has been with for two years.

Recently, another friend spotted him on Tinder, (I think she saw he was online at that particular moment, but I’ve honestly never used Tinder, so have no idea how it works). She sent a screen shot of it to Harriett, who now isn’t sure what to do. Confront BF or try to figure out what’s going on first?

We’re fairly sure Kevin has been on Tinder quite recently as he has his new(ish) job title and company on there.

WWYD in these circumstances?

LTB (my first LTB!!!)

Stay out of it unless Harriet asks you for your support and advice. If she does ask then help her make a decision but don't tell her what you think that decision should be.

Tinder doesn't tell you if someone is online. And as it's connected to Facebook it should update employments information accordingly, there's no guarantee it's a recent account unless he changes his photo to a recent one.

If it were me I'd casually mention it, but not be confrontational about it.

"or try to figure out what’s going on first?"

He's shagging other people, that's what's going on.

He may say that he's signed up for a mate to see if their girlfriend etc is on there, I've heard that excuse dozens of times.

I've known Women to forgive this and they've never not cheated again.

She needs to get rid.

Hmmmm that was my first thought. But I know him and, (such a bloody cliche), I just never thought he’d be the type!

Is there a way to find out when someone was last active on Tinder? Don’t know why I’m assuming anyone on here would know, except that someone on MN seems to know everything!

Harriett has definitely asked me for her help. To be clear, I didn’t find the profile, another friend did and sent it to Harriett who has asked me for help.

Tinder doesn't tell you if someone is online. And as it's connected to Facebook it should update employments information accordingly, there's no guarantee it's a recent account unless he changes his photo to a recent one.

Interesting... that could make sense then.

Tinder will say on their profile when they were last active (or at least it used to, I'm a few years out of date!)

There's no way to see when someone is online or last active. However, if the pictures change then that's manual, so it's a shame she didn't match with him to see

" I just never thought he’d be the type! "

We were shocked that my Son-in-law was on there, cheating on my DD. They had been together fourteen years and he adored her. He is very shy in RL.

Although, inactive profiles don't go up for swiping, so if she was able to see him, the app has probably been opened recently

It’s not always linked to FB either, you can sign up using your phone no so there’s no connection.

Tinder pretty much closes your account if your not active... I had an email saying that I was inactive for months and they were closing it.

Other friend did swipe right, (to match with him). But now Harriett thinks that was an error as surely it will now show up. Kevin knows other friend, so he’ll know that Harriett most likely knows he’s on there now iyswim.

Just an update to say he’s admitted being on Tinder as he, “needed reassurance that other women found him attractive” .

Needless to say, she has LTB.

That was quick!

Yep! What was there to discuss really? I think as he said that he was on Tinder and why, she’d made her mind up. Good for her. I was worried he’d talk her round somehow.

*as soon as he said

She said if he was doing this now, then what would he be up to in ten years’ time when they might have dcs and she would be very busy with work, (she’s currently training in a difficult job). Can just imagine the lengths he’d go to for “reassurance”.