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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Soft play etiquette in the ‘baby area’ - AIBU?

55 replies

Minnie881 · 13/01/2018 17:50

So me and my DH took our 11 month old to a new soft play today (I’ve only been once before), mainly because I often take him in the week and Daddy doesn’t get to see his little excited face! Obviously we stick to the baby areas which is clearly marked at under twos. With it being a Saturday (never again!) it was pretty busy but lots of babies for LO to see and interact with. Unfortunately there were a number children in there that were over the age of two, I’d guess 4 or 5 who were becoming more and more boisterous. I assume a grandad was in there with two of his GC who insisted on stacking the furniture as tall as he was. My DH asked him a few times to be careful as the blocks of furniture kept falling down onto him and he just keep saying “I can see where you are and it won’t hurt”- not the point surely. My DH then pointed out that it was under 2s only which he responded to with “that other child is older than mine” (other child had no parent to be seen). After several more tumbles of the tower, as I say taller than the GD himself, my DH got fed up and as a member of staff walked past signalled that the older children were becoming too bostrious. She completely agreed and asked them to leave the baby area but the GD ignored her completely. After several mins(!) of her calling him and saying “excuse me, adult” my DH said she is talking to you! He replied “I know, come on then childs name we’ve been banned from here”. He then went to sit down with the children and I noticed (should have said I was sat having a cuppa watching) him talking to GM and I assume son (child’s parent). He looked really aggressive and was clearly shouting his dismay at my DH for asking the staff to say something when his requests were ignored. The son then got really angry and red in the face, swearing and got up. I panicked as he looked like he was heading for DH and baby so I got up and went over, started speaking to DH and asked him to come and sit with me for a bit - I didn’t want them to be trapped in the baby area if he was going to be aggressive. We sat at the table and all the time the son and GD were mouthing off and sticking their fingers up etc. I honestly couldn’t believe their behaviour in a soft play area full of children on a Saturday morning. It really freaked me out how angry they got over something so small? Were we being unreasonable to have asked staff to intervene when our requests were ignored? I should add the majority of the soft play was for over twos so why is there any need for older children to be in here who are too boisterous where babies aren’t even crawling? 😔 Made me not want to go back. They ended up leaving in the end without coming over thank goodness.

OP posts:
ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 13/01/2018 20:06

I honestly couldn’t believe their behaviour in a soft play area full of children on a Saturday morning

Welcome to soft play, you have now been fully initiated.

ClaryFray · 13/01/2018 20:08

Their entitled twats!

Aria2015 · 13/01/2018 20:09

YANBU they sound horrible. It's really annoying when older children monopolise the baby / toddler areas of soft play. They are usually much smaller areas than the main soft play area so no does what the appeal is. I usually just go straight to a member of staff and they tell the kids / parents to get out. I've never encountered hostility like you did today though (thankfully). Hopefully it's just a one off, most decent people don't react like this!

TrinitySquirrel · 13/01/2018 20:15

Went to one a few weeks ago. Nearly clotheslined a kid who was making a beeline towards us with the sole purpose of trying to smack my baby in the face.

Dirty, rotten, horrible, shitty, scummy, grotty, lazy arsed parenting hell holes left under supervision of 18yr old members of staff who generally couldn't give a shit and I never want to step inside the doors of one ever again.

Mostly because I'll end up getting done for smothering a lazy twat parent with a bowl of stale chips, after they have sat there on their phone for 3hrs while their child tries to take the title of brat (*wat) of the year.

rogermooresfifthwife · 13/01/2018 20:17

Soft play is shit.

I haven't been back since I practically had to a baby who had been left alone in there. He was about a year old, clearly just walking and started to cry to be picked up when I was in there with my dd. I was so shocked he'd just been left with no visible parent. We took him out and we walked round til we found his family at a table. I mentioned he'd got a bit upset and they just said oh thanks. Unbelievable.

Allthewaves · 13/01/2018 20:42

If your going to do soft play at wkend. You get there early and have a very thick skin and a loud gob helps Grin

KindergartenKop · 13/01/2018 20:57

I've seen a soft play dispute escalate to as far as security and then the police being called.

Notlostjustexploring · 13/01/2018 21:08

I'm a bit nervous that I've been risking life and limb. The baby area of soft play is the first time and place I've ever shouted at someone else's child. Said ~6 year old started pelting ball pit balls at my then ten month old and I sent them packing in short order. No parent ever came looking for me for daring to tell off their darlings right enough.

I still tell off unsupervised children who are ruining the baby section, and frankly endangering my son, but I think I might have to think twice in future lest I end up starting a thread in future about being beaten up in soft play....

Yes to it being the seventh circle of he'll, but they really do love it...

Minnie881 · 13/01/2018 21:10

After today I’m not surprised security have been called, I can’t believe it though even with my thick skin on that people can act this way. Why does being at soft play rationalise such awful behaviour/ poor parenting?! It’s defintiely opened my eyes, during school hours clearly didn’t show me the reality of soft play... as most of you say though probably just got unlucky with the idiots that were in there today.

OP posts:
Xmaspuddingdisaster · 13/01/2018 21:12

I’ve been to different soft plays hundreds of times. Dcs keep asking to go, so they can’t find them hellish. Not sure what parents are supposed to do while dc are playing (the older-than-toddler ones) other than read/chat/use phone/eat scones. Or why we don't deserve a break sometimes. Lots of places don’t allow you to enter the larger play area as an adult anyway.
If you live somewhere rainy you’d appreciate your local soft play more Grin

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/01/2018 21:16

Soft play,it’s a fucking jungle.kids with constant dripping noses,rough parents
Performance parents bellowing instructions,neurotic panickers hovering, lazy gits on iPad ignoring their kids
And the occasional normal parent,notable by their horrified facial expression

Itchytights · 13/01/2018 21:18

My DC have only ever been to soft play once and that was enough.

Hideous and revolting places.

Can think of a million better places to take my children.

They certainly aren’t missing out by me not taking them to soft play.

Hell on earth.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/01/2018 21:22

I know of a party at softplay descended into an fight &altercation with police called
uninvited kids were eating party snacks, barging the party kids.all a bit wild

MrsPandaBear · 13/01/2018 21:24

I avoid them at the weekend too. Round here several gymnastics clubs open up for toddler sessions in the morning, even on weekends. They are a lot better - all on the flat so easier to supervise kids and ours don't have cafes so there is less temptation for parents to completely ignore kids. My kids live stuff like the trampolines.

MagicWillHappen · 13/01/2018 21:26

Yanbu op. I generally ignore any parents and announce (loudly) to the kids in there 'Right guys, this bit is for babies so if you're over 3, out you go to the big area!'. I've had evils a few times from parents as they follow their kids out but my skin is thicker than a rhino's Grin

StepAwayFromGoogle · 13/01/2018 21:31

YANBU, OP. I'm a bit hardened to soft play now but I'm also not unknown to tell other children off. And take things up with parents if I need to.

The bloke was a chavvy d*ckhead. You get plenty of those at soft play. I once told a child who was clearly about 7 and in the under 4s section to stop throwing balls at my 18 month old. He came out and hit me with both fists in the middle of my back. I found his Dad, told him, and he said "so what? Kids will be kids. Get out of my face." It's the closest I have ever come to punching another human being.

The trick is to find a 'nice' soft play. They do exist. Shop around. Generally they are cleaner and better run. And not full of the scum of the earth.

TheVanguardSix · 13/01/2018 21:35

YA totally NBU but I think weekends at a soft play centre is like self-flagellation.

Noodledoodledoo · 13/01/2018 21:39

I frequently strike up a friendly chat with the kids in the toddler area - little kids always like to tell you thier age! The school uniform is also a bit of a give away, so if they get a bit boistrous I 'suggest' they are a bit old to be in there!

Sometimes my teacher voice and look has its uses =)

I agree later than 10am arrival and its hell on earth!!

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 13/01/2018 21:41

It can happen to older children too. A boy we know was having his 6th birthday party at soft play, a boy sat on his 13yo brother's face and he passed out for a couple of minutes. DD and another friend got him out.

Lizzie48 · 14/01/2018 08:35

YANBU, OP, what an awful experience. Don't let it put you off, thought, as soft play can be a lot of fun for young children, my DDs (8 and 5) love it, though we only go now when there's a friend's birthday party to go to, as it gets expensive if you go regularly.

Unfortunately, there is some very poor parenting. Obviously no one is objecting to parents having a cuppa and chatting with friends, or looking at their phones, that's what I do now my DDs are old enough not to need us at all. The issue is when their children misbehave and they don't bother to intervene. You are responsible for your kids!!

Multicolouredfish · 14/01/2018 10:51

We only go in the week for this reason. My 1 ish year old child loves soft play and we go on all the big stuff too, as the slides and tunnels and rollers are really fun. Luckily, I'm part time so we go in the week before 3.30pm so it's quiet. Weekend and holiday soft play chaos can wait till he's five! If you work full time , apologies for annoying you.

Bluedoglead · 14/01/2018 10:53

Nothing actually happened to your child?

insancerre · 14/01/2018 11:00

So, next time, just move out of their way

dingdongdigeridoo · 14/01/2018 11:09

It’s not uncommon to see parents kick off at soft play. It seems to attract some pretty scuzzy people. Went to one in half term, for some insane reason, and there was a two hour limit for play. The owner was trying to kick out this family who had apparently been there since opening, so 4 hours. Why???? How can you sit on an uncomfortable chair with screaming kids for 4 hours? They were yelling at the manager that she was being racist to white people. Haha.

I once witnessed a massive group try to throw their own birthday party to avoid paying the party rate. About 20 of them came in and moved all the tables together, and they were trying to secretively put candles in a cake. Cheeky fuckers.

Nanny0gg · 14/01/2018 11:11

So, next time, just move out of their way

Why should they?

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