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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you happy with your body?

100 replies

Sokuto · 13/01/2018 15:12

And if so, what kind of body do you have?

I've spent my life trying to be skinny. I wasn't bothered about being healthy, I just wanted to be as thin as possible. So fad diet after fad diet, low carb, Atkins, 5:2, slimming world, caveman ... constantly feeling shit and unhappy even though I've always been within a healthy BMI - I just wasn't skinny enough.

Recently, within the past year I have grown an interest in fitness and have started taking part in fun runs (colour run, inflatable 5k, Halloween run etc). I've also gone back to martial arts and was shocked at how weak I was. I joined the gym and started building up my cardio abilities and muscle mass. At this point I realised i needed to eat properly in order to do these things. Ironically, I have now lost weight and am finally happy with my weight.

Now I strive for lean and healthy rather than thin.

AIBU to think there is far too much emphasis on "losing weight" and not enough on actually exercising? If everyone exercised appropriately, the food wouldn't be such an issue?

Slimming world is the absolute pits but they, along with NHS etc all lay emphasis on simply "losing weight". Shouldn't the emphasis be on "improving health"?

And my initial question, are you happy with your body?

OP posts:
Forbidden · 13/01/2018 17:20

No
Objectively I can see it’s not that bad but I have such low self esteem that I have zero body confidence.

I have to force myself to wear shorts/ short sleeved tops in hot weather, ideally I’d be fully covered up.

I rarely go swimming because I get so anxious about the thought of wearing swimwear.

I’m a size 6-8, but carry all my weight on my tummy so have rolls there. Legs too skinny, no boobs, too hairy, too pale...

Namila · 13/01/2018 17:20

I am quite happy with my body. Of course I could be more toned and perhaps loose a pound or two, but I am happy with my overall shape and I don't obsess about food/ losing weight/ looking a certain way.

I don't think it is so rare for a woman to be reasonably happy with her body, many of my friends are.

Solina · 13/01/2018 17:22

I am happy and confident with myself and my body and am currently a size 20/22.

However, I do want to lose weight because I do not want my health to suffer due to being overweight. If it wasnt a health risk I would happily stay this size.

halfwitpicker · 13/01/2018 17:30

I've a rocking body.

5'5, athletic build, fabulous breasts, flat belly considering I've had two kids. No stretch makes, good skin tone. Pretty lean and I'm fine with being in a bikini.

It's not easy though. I watch when I eat, drink and do : I go to bed early and it shows.

If I look good I feel good, and vice versa.

SingingSeuss · 13/01/2018 17:32

Yes. I'm content. I have never disliked my body. I have also never been stick thin or particularly overweight. After 2 kids I have just accepted that I have gone up a clothes size, but I am much happier for it. I have never really dieted, I try and eat healthy, and if I feel like I need it I just knock the chocs on the head for a bit. I do a bit of exercise and don't link my weight to my happiness. Life is far to short.

QueenofmyPrinces · 13/01/2018 17:37

When im dressed I look like I've got a fab figure and feel really confident...

However, underneath there's a tummy that's seen two c-sections and I doubt I will ever be happy with my naked body again unfortunately.

Fadingmemory · 13/01/2018 17:40

No, "troubled" skin, horrid thighs, varicose veins. Slim, though. I avoid mirrors unless putting on makeup.

Rebeccaslicker · 13/01/2018 17:42

God no. It's like a flabby apple on two cocktail sticks.

But then I read something v sad like this and am mostly grateful it's mostly healthy:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/morganshanahan/this-letter-from-a-27-year-old-who-was-dying-of-cancer-will

BornInSydneyy · 13/01/2018 17:46

OP my story is so similar to yours. I’ve lodt close to 4 stone through fitness and just eating better.

I’m slowly loving my body now. Never thought there would be a day where I said that.

TheWineHasRunOut · 13/01/2018 17:51

Absolutely not!

NoWordForFluffy · 13/01/2018 17:51

@FluffyWuffy100 I too have stretch marks from growing. I don't have any from my 2 pregnancies, however (and I was MAHOOSIVE!).

To answer OP's question, I'm slowly coming round to my post-children body. Pre-children I had a flat stomach. I now have split abs (which are improving, but not fixed) and a rather large c-section shelf which accentuates the split abs. I hoard weight on my stomach if I put it on these days, whereas it used to be more evenly distributed in the pre-children days!

However, I'm tall and slim (5' 11" and just under 11 stone; a comfortable size 10) and I have toned, firm legs (which are ridiculously long). I exercise a fair bit and have great stamina and strength. I'm healthy. Things could be worse, and it's not like many people will ever see me naked / partially clothed to know what I look like!

JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt · 13/01/2018 17:54

Interesting that most of those saying 'no' class themselves as overweight.

I've spent my life wishing I could put more weight in.
I'm too scrawny for my 25 years, and wish I had time to eat more and build thighs and ass.
Belly's good after 3 kids. Boobs are naff 😂

roofio87 · 13/01/2018 18:21

Yes I am. I've spent the last 2 years trasnforming my fitness levels and strength. I do look better than before but more than anything I'm so much happier with the way my body works now, I have no more back ache, I'm so much more flexible and my strength is great, when we moved house I was so proud that I did as much of the heavy lifting as my dh and barely broke a sweat!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/01/2018 18:27

I guess so. I would like to lose 5lb which is doable and I'll feel happier when I do but overall I think I look ok. Now I'm middle aged I'm far less critical of my looks tbh.

Lethaldrizzle · 13/01/2018 18:29

Yes pretty much. I like exercise and eat pretty well.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 13/01/2018 18:34

Yes (though not face).

Well done on your achievement op. That's terrific.

NeopolitanChocolates · 13/01/2018 18:38

Nope

ziggy715 · 13/01/2018 20:29

I feel ok about myself with clothes on - size 8 -10 and fairly in proportion. With clothes off, not really. Things will never look quite the same post-baby. Having said that, I'm much more forgiving and accepting of my body having been through pregnancy and birth. I've appreciated what it can do rather than judging its with solely on what it looks like. I used to be a lot more self critical - even at a size 6 years ago I thought I wasn't slim enough.

yourhavingagiraffee · 13/01/2018 20:43

Hate my body. Only way i would be happy, is if I won money and got breast reduction, tummy tuck, gastric band, lipo and got to spend 7 days a week at classes or the gym.

I will have to make do with gym and jogging and hopefully see a difference.

Badhairday1001 · 13/01/2018 20:43

I'm happy with the way it looks most of the time. I am not happy with my current level of fitness though and have started to exercise to get on top of that. I also want to start yoga as I feel very stiff and inflexible at the grand old age of 37!

Allthewaves · 13/01/2018 21:10

I was happy until baby no3 as always been 14/16 but carried it well and stomach was rounded but firm. Now have the saggy apron bit below tummy blah

Leigha3 · 13/01/2018 21:10

No, it doesn't matter how thin or fit I am, all I see most of the time are my flaws, I recall making a detailed list of them at age 12 and my first clear memory as a child was of weighing myself.

My family destroyed my self-esteem when I was growing up, it's hard to fix what was broken by the people who supposedly are meant to love and nurture you more than anyone else.

Being pregnant hasn't really done wonders for my self-esteem either. Not helped by the fact that I had about a 60% chance of having a miscarriage at any time or that she'd have so many problems that she couldn't be carried to term or would be stillborn. Fortunately CVS testing confirmed her to be healthy.

However during those first 15 weeks I had no morning sickness or energy for exercising, I barely slept, had massive cravings, and stress ate. I didn't realise I was stress eating at the time as I've rarely ever done so in my life. As you can imagine I gained more weight then is normal or recommended during the first 4 months.

sourpatchkid · 13/01/2018 21:27

You would assume my answer would be no, because I'm probably about 6 stone overweight (maybe more)

But actually? Yes I'm happy. My body hasn't let me down yet, it breathes, it walks, it currently feeds my baby. My body is doing a great job (I may not be treating it very well with all the junk food but it's a good old body)

icantthinkofanotherusername · 13/01/2018 21:29

No I hate It, I look at my self everyday and feel like I hate myself. I litrally don't like one thing about my body. It makes me sick I'm 21 and let me say having a slim figure is not all its cracked up to be. I absolutely despise my body.

frankie001 · 13/01/2018 21:29

I’m mostly happy. I have lost 8 stone over the past 2 years. I’m now a size 12, and weigh 10.7 stone. But, I have a lot of loose skin which I can mostly hide but I hate my flabby underarms.