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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To why parents would fork out for an expensive phone for under 16s?

195 replies

malificent7 · 13/01/2018 10:18

Dd informs me that some of her classmates in year 5 have iphones or Samsungs.
Im a bit judgy as they are so expensive both if you buy a handset outright plus on a contract they are still expensive as a monthly payment.

I didnt want dd to have a phone at all but due to incessant nagging i relented and got her a cheap handset from Tescos. She hasnt had any credit on it for months and uses it as a tablet.

Aibu to think that giving a child an expensive phone is a bit daft. Kids loose and break things plus it sets an unreasonable standard.

I know i was daft myself to have guven in and get her a phone but everyone else in her class seems to have one!

OP posts:
hungryhippo90 · 13/01/2018 12:00

Yes!!! I think the same! DD is also in year 5. I’ve got her a perfectly nice smartphone, a lot of her friends have iPhones, Samsung’s etc.

Subtleconstraints · 13/01/2018 12:00

I started a thread about phones a while back when my dd started secondary. (She had an old second hand one for the final year of primary.). DD had told me that "everyone" in secondary had a new expensive phone and I was asking on Mnsnet if this was true generally ... . I have to say that I was staggered to find out that, largely speaking, the answer was "yes"! Many people had bought their DC reconditioned or upgraded phones, but the majority had bought them new expensive models. (As did we in the end, although DD did earn a third of the cost by helping out in the office and doing other chores.)

I am often sat with my friends or at parents meetings and we all joke about our old crappy phones, while our teens swan about with the latest technology! Tbh, I would have thought I would be the last person to succumb to this, but I have! And to be fair, DD loves her phone, she and her friends are in constant contact via their mobiles, a lot of hwk is accessed, downloaded and discussed via them, she uses it to listen to music, to take really good photographs, as a Fitbit/stopwatch, timer. We had all those things in our day, but they came separately ifyswim (she says desperately trying to justify the purchase! Grin). I don't like the battles over the time spent on it though! (We have fairly strict limits.)

Karigan1 · 13/01/2018 12:01

My son has an iPhone but it’s the old one after I upgraded

usedtogotomars · 13/01/2018 12:02

Kids get loads of use from phones as they love snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and so on. They also talk to each other more than we do to our friends.

notgivingin789 · 13/01/2018 12:07

Let's be honest phones are a huge part of kids lives and unfortunately if thet haven't got an ok one other kids will judge

Why are some parents like this ? They will buy their child whatever the latest craze in order for the child to not be left out/ be judged by peers.

Why not teach your child to be an individual ? Not a sheep and follow others. To stop worrying about what others have and focus on you. Get a few of the things which are in the latest craze but literally, you would get some parents who would get their child every latest craze that’s “in” at the moment.

loads of adults drop iPhones....

The difference is that we pay for the repair costs ourselves with the money we have worked for. If my child broke an iPhone, I would be pissed as it’s somthing else to fork out.

To the parents, who have kids in primary, with IPhones. Don’t you worry your child may get muggled ?

MadamPatti · 13/01/2018 12:07

About 18 months ago I got my first iPhone. DS, just starting year 7 needed one too. I got an SE (then the latest model (only just -7 came out a couple of weeks later) and ds got a 5s. On contract, over 2 years, the cost of the handsets is £15 per month. We normally buy second hand, or buy outright upfront, but this was so cheap that it would have been madness not to.

Snowysky20009 · 13/01/2018 12:08

For you to judge, dd(8) got an iphone 8 for christmas

Tell me this is a joke. A brand new one ?!!!! Oh my word. Some people don’t just know what to do with their money

Surely it's up to the parents? If they can afford it then so be it. I couldn't afford a new iPhone for ds2 hence he had his brothers hand me down. But in all honestly, if I could afford it I would.

Remember £700 to someone on a very good salary, is pocket money.
But then a friend bought her dd 11, one for Christmas, she isn't well off, but she chose to spend her money on that for her, and that's her decision, has nothing to do with anyone else.

HolidayHelpPlease · 13/01/2018 12:09

UsedtogotoMars - true (and I certainly have!) but I have never seen an adult sob uncontrollably for over 30mins because their screen cracked, or refuse to go to school because their phone is drying out in the airing cupboard - whole thing depends on what kind of child you have, but the hormones often mean the smallest things become a mammoth drama

DorisDangleberry · 13/01/2018 12:10

My 10yo DD has a shitty old BlackBerry. However having read this thread I have just ordered a brand new iPhone X for her purely to annoy the OP

LordSugarWillSeeYouNow · 13/01/2018 12:11

My ds is 14.
He had the iPhone 6 when it was just out, he begged for a new one at Christmas.

His dad has more money than sense so got him the iPhone 8 plus with unlimited everything.
I do worry about him having a nice phone but so do most of the kids where we live ( in ironically a very deprived area )

His best friend got the iPhone X, around £1000!

I think there's a difference between a secondary school pupil having one which is actually used for a reason than a primary aged child who gets one to keep up with their friends.

My dd is almost 7 and won't be getting one for a good few years.
I remember that when ds was 8 the iPhone 4 iirc came out and more money than sense dad bought him it- ridiculous.
It was way too young and he did not have any need for one so I ended up giving it him back.

onceandneveragain · 13/01/2018 12:13

Firstly - there is a big difference between your 9/10 year old child, their treatment of possessions, the distance they travel without you, and the way they would use a phone to that of a 15 year old. So the 'under 16' part of your statement is odd.

Secondly - As PPs have said, you can get decent (not brand new/top of range) smartphones for a pretty affordable price. There's a huge price difference between the Iphone x and a mid range samsung but for what most people use them for they are not that different spec wise.

Thirdly - yes phones can be expensive. However a mobile will replace many other smaller devices that would have been 'normal' for people 10-20 years ago, such as a tv/dvd player, ipod/walkman/cd player, calendar, alarm clock, satnav, laptop/other computer, camera, handheld gameboy., pedometer...all of which would have added up. So while the outlay might seem a lot, it's a one-off item that encompasses a lot of functions rather than just speaking to someone.

However I would say that I would imagine it is hard for children/teens who have the brand new, latest versions of everything, as it will become an expectation and at some point they will have to either pay for these things themselves (which many will not be able to afford), or get used to having second-best, which is hard when you've always had the best on the market with no thought of payment. It does make me laugh when I see young children/teens with phones very few people I know in their later twenties/thirties can afford to own.

notgivingin789 · 13/01/2018 12:14

I think it’s ridiculous Snow but each to their own. I can afford the IPhone 8 for my DS. I choose not to. It’s not about the affordability, it’s the principle. If I got my son the IPhone 8, it will be raising his expectations... probably when his 10 he would want an Apple Mac.

Oh, I had a Mac when I was 18. The difference was that I worked, saved and used my money to purchase it and I needed it, in order to my degree as it widely used in a specific Art area.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 13/01/2018 12:14

My dd has an iPhone. It cost me £80 secondhand but in great condition and was given to her for Xmas x

Fluffy40 · 13/01/2018 12:15

I had my first phone at the age of 29.

Anyone beat that ?

Mulberry72 · 13/01/2018 12:20

DS(11) has an iPhone 6 which he paid for himself out of birthday/Christmas money. He’s tagged on to DH’s EE contract which is massively generous in terms of texts/calls/data.

Don’t judge unless you know the facts.

shebagthehag · 13/01/2018 12:21

My dc have our old iPhones and they are only 7 and 5 (obviously no sim) they have them instead of tablets. There's are in better condition than mine Confused

When they start secondary school, I will get them SIM cards (obviously they will probably have upgrades from us by then)

My Dsis is a lot younger than me and when she was in her teens I used to give her my old iPhones and my parents used to get her a small contract that she had to pay out of her paper round

IncyWincyGrownUp · 13/01/2018 12:22

I have three children; 14, 10, 6. The older two have iPhones, the youngest has an iPod.

It’s no business of anybody else why I choose to give them apple products, in the same way it’s none of my business to wonder why some people are determined to make sure children know they’re ‘lesser’ by buying them inferior/unfit for purpose products.

Whatever works for you and yours.

JacquesHammer · 13/01/2018 12:27

Tell me this is a joke. A brand new one ?!!!! Oh my word. Some people don’t just know what to do with their money

Or maybe just spend their money differently from you?

Who'd have thought it

k2p2k2tog · 13/01/2018 12:28

My 9 year old has an iPhone. It's an old one which was used by me, then his older brother, then passed to him. Every time either DH or I reaches the end of our contracts and upgrade, the old phone gets passed to the kids.

SoupDragon · 13/01/2018 12:28

I had my first phone at the age of 29.

Anyone beat that ?

Yes. I was 30. My parents were 70 when they got their first phone.

SoupDragon · 13/01/2018 12:32

Some people don’t just know what to do with their money.

This comment is far more worthy of an eye roll than a child having an iPhone. I would say that everybody knows exactly what to do with their mown money: whatever they damn well want to.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 13/01/2018 12:35

Yet another thing for MNers to be morally outraged by Hmm and we have the usual bollox about more money than sense etc. People can do what they want with their own money and what one person thinks is worth paying for, another won't. I'm always boggled that posters struggle so much with that!

My teen nieces have iPhones. They're certainly not a high income family (nope, no trust funds!) so just like most people they have to choose either/or. They want the phone so their clothes come from primark and h & m instead of river island. Just like some people decide to shop in Aldi instead of Other Supermarket so they can afford the family holiday they really want to go on. Or the people who would rather eat in a nice restaurant once a month than have a weekly takeaway. Different preferences, different priorities.

notgivingin789 · 13/01/2018 12:38

Sorry, that’s how I feel soup.

Notreallyarsed · 13/01/2018 12:39

With more respect than you’ve shown others notgiving what makes you think you have any right to tell people what to spend their own money on?
Assuming bills are paid and food is in the house, it’s none of anyone else’s business what money is spent on.

JacquesHammer · 13/01/2018 12:41

Sorry, that’s how I feel soup

But surely its a nonsensical opinion. You don't want to spend that much on a phone, absolutely fine.

Why should other families have to adhere to that?

Why does anyone spend money on anything? They know what to do with their money, they're buying a product Hmm