To get DH to ask this of the Nursery?

[NotALonelyOnly]

I have a 2 year old DD who attends a private Nursery 3 days a week. The Nursery has 4 rooms (Babies (0-18m), Tiny Toddlers (1-2 1/2), Big Toddlers (2-3.5) and Preschool (2 1/2 - Starting School).

The Nursery is in two large houses which are knocked together. The two younger rooms are on the ground floor, and the older rooms are on the top floor. There's a lot of crossover of ages as you can see, as it depends on the childs development.

DD is finally ready to move from Tiny Toddlers to Big Toddlers. So from ground floor to top floor. This is a big change for her, and she started transitioning today with the plan to move permanently by the end of January.

When we looked around the Nursery in August 2016, DH had just had an operation and wasn't very mobile so was unable to get up the stairs to see the upstairs of the building. He does 1/3 of the drop offs in the mornings and 2/3 of the evening pickups, so would like to have a look at the upstairs rooms before DD moves up permanently. The children aren't always in there room at pick up time as they move them all downstairs as the number of children decreases.

I told him to ask one of the managers next time he takes DD in so they can arrange it for next time he picks DD up. I thought this would be fine with the Nursery (they encourage parents to come into the Nursery and where possible into the childs specific room to see artwork/chat to staff etc)

Mentioned it to one of the other mothers who picks her DC up after me/DH have picked DD up and she said if she was the manager she'd not give permission for this as she doesn't want "random dads walking round the Nursery".

I thought it was a reasonable request. When I looked round last year we weren't allowed into offices/changing areas or toilets as the manager says that's where they show potentially confidential information about the children but the rest of the building I was free to look round, I was followed around by a manager and there were children in the Nursery at the time I looked around, but I wondered if it was weird for just DH to have look?

So AIBU to get DH to ask to have a look at the upstairs rooms? Of course DH isn't going to be rude about it and if the manager says she can't spare the staff DH will accept that and just

Of course yanbu. That mum is being an eejit.

YANBU. Any potential parent, regardless of their sex, would be welcomed to look round. The fact your child already goes there shouldn’t be an issue.

She's being unreasonable. Probably one of those who thinks any man who looks at a child is a paedophile.

YANBU, that mum is being sexist frankly.

Of course he should be able to look round! Btw why would he be a 'random dad' not just a 'dad'

Of course it's not weird. We looked round the whole nursery when we went to visit for DS1 but obviously were mainly focussed on the baby room. Each time he moved up the manager offered to take us over to the new room for a visit so we could have a look. Entirely reasonable.

The parent is being ridiculous! They won't send him off to wander round on his own. He can ask, and if necessary nursery can suggest an alternative time when a member of staff is free.

If the Manager said "no" then DH would accept that. If she said "come back at X time and I'll show you round" he definitely would as well. He'd never be rude about.

This mother is very 1950s. Doesn't let her husband anywhere near the Nursery, she doesn't work and only sends them due to the free hours etc. Her husband has never looked after the children on his own as "he can't be trusted as he's a man" etc.

What a load of nonsense- any parent should be looking around a nursery they are paying for for goodness sake. I would expect a parent to!

OMG ignore her. She is a deluded loon.

I'd stare her dead in the eye and say 'don't worry, he's not taken any kids in ages.'

Then walk away.

What a tit.

iven might try that next time

If the nursery said 'no' to a perfectly reasonable request then I'd have issues with that. If the nursery were not able to suitable shoot down any comments from people like the 'other mother' then I'd have issues with that.

However, I think both the above scenarios are highly unlikely from a well run nursery.

But, the 'other mother' is on another planet from the majority...

Of course he would want to look around and that is to be expected. They are looking after his dc. Ignore the strange Mum and get him to ask anyway. I am sure nursery will be delighted to show your dh the room dc will be in.

YANBU

Hes absolutely entitled to ask to see the room where his child will be spending most of their day! Especially as you said in a polite and reasonable way understanding it may not be possible that instant.

He’s not some random man off the street, he’s the parent of a child who is currently moving into that room! And I bet she wouldn’t have commented if you’d said you wanted to have a look round

Ignore her and don’t tell DH what she said or it might (wrongly) put him off

Why on earth are you giving brain space to this idiot?

Annie because her younger child is my DDs friend and they live near us so have playdates etc sometimes so I like to at least pretend to get on with the mothers.

Wow if she'd have come to my old nursery she'd have combust what with out two male staff! What I don't get (apart from the obvious) is of your Dh is doing pick ups he's there anyway?

Totally crazy

notfair She doesn't know DH picks up as I said she picks her DC up after us so DD has left before she gets hers.

You’re clearly a better actress than me. It’s definitely one advantage to them getting a bit bigger...Drop & Run playdates!

This is a very long post to ask others if it’s reasonable for your husband to see the Nursery room your daughter is in. What do you think? A bit of a ridiculous post