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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another future inheritance one!

28 replies

MrsHarveySpecterV · 12/01/2018 19:50

Posting on behalf of DH. He has a close relative who is terminally ill and never had children of her own, she classes DH and his siblings as her children. DH is the only one of his siblings who has children. She has told us that in her will she has left a large sum of money (she hasn't specified how much but from what she has said I guess around £100,000) split one third to each of DH's siblings and the other third split between our 2 children to be kept in trust until they are 18. I am currently pregnant with DC3 and all being well we are considering a fourth. She has said that if she doesn't survive to see our 3rd DC (and any future) she would hope that DCs 1&2 would split their money equally with their siblings once they have access to the funds. However our children are both preschool at the moment so we have no way of knowing if they would do this at 18 and their would be no legal requirement for them to do so. WDHBU to suggest that she leaves it to him with a stipulation that it is for the children at 18? Once we have had our last DC we could then put equal amounts in trust for each of them. Although it is such a sad time she is being very practical and is discussing her will with close relatives. Fully prepared to be told it's nothing to do with us! WWYD?

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 12/01/2018 19:52

If she's discussing it openly then I think it's fair to suggest a long term option to provide for any future DC.

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 12/01/2018 19:53

But surely your dc would morally do the right thing by any future siblings!?

Situp · 12/01/2018 19:54

If it is being left to your children yanbu to ensure it is left equally between all of your future children.

My parents have set up a simple trust fund for grandchildren on this basis.

SavvyFishFinger · 12/01/2018 19:55

A trust for your 'remoter issue' is normal. But if she is not up to it, then of course what Figroll said is your hope.

Booboobooboo84 · 12/01/2018 19:55

As it’s sometribg she’s discussing openly I don’t see any issue with suggesting that she may want the money to be split by any children to be split equally when the eldest turns 16. So all can be kept in trust until then

DriggleDraggle · 12/01/2018 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsHarveySpecterV · 12/01/2018 19:55

@fig DH and I sincerely hope that they would but we can't be sure of that. We don't know what situation they may be in themselves at 18 or if they will get alongside with their siblings. Especially after some of the threads I've read on here! I have a good relationship with my siblings but DH has been up and down with his over the years so I think he's worried about that happening with our DCs.

OP posts:
Situp · 12/01/2018 19:56

@Figrollsnotfatrolls It doesnt take much time perusing the threads on this site to see this is often not the case sadly.

MiniCooperLover · 12/01/2018 19:57

Her solicitor should have suggested writing the will to consider future children so instead of to Child A and Child B it would say to ‘any Children of OP and OP DH’, therefore they’ll all be covered. Unless she changes this you can’t take the money away from your existing children.

TeenTimesTwo · 12/01/2018 19:57

I don't think relying on goodwill of the existing siblings is good enough and she should be encouraged to talk to solicitor re wording so that any future offspring of your DH (or DH and yourself combined only) should be included.

Chrys2017 · 12/01/2018 19:59

So DH's siblings are getting 1/3 each but he isn't getting anything left to him?

LolitaLempicka · 12/01/2018 20:02

I don’t know, I think Driggle’s suggestion is good. But she won’t know your future children, presumably she is leaving them money because she has a relationship with them? Could you put aside your share for any future children? It isn’t a very large amount, but could go some way towards university fees in the future.

LolitaLempicka · 12/01/2018 20:03

Oh, you don’t get anything? That seems weird, she should just leave it to your do and then he can pass it on to his children.

MrsHathaway · 12/01/2018 20:04

If it's DH's relative then his third should be left to any of his children regardless of OP (sorry to be blunt but unless you're Lannisters her relationship to the children is through him and you're incidental to that).

Leaving to DH in trust for his children must be very common. Skipping a generation is the new big thing in wills, and pretty logical tbh.

Is there no hope of any children to DH's siblings?

Original poster
MrsHarveySpecterV · 12/01/2018 20:24

Thank you everyone for your replies. I've just spoken to MIL as she is executor of the will. She has just said that there is other money/assets being split between DH and his siblings for them but these trusts are for our children and any future children that his siblings have. I have suggested as PP said that our trust is worded "children of DH" instead of individually for the 2 DC we have now and explained why. MIL agrees with this and is going to speak to the solicitor and to DH's relative about it. I don't know what will happen re: the trusts for any 'future' children of his siblings if they don't have children, they are both mid-late 30s and so far have no desire for children - but that part is nothing to do with me or DH so best to keep out of that!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsHarveySpecterV · 12/01/2018 20:26

@lolita I checked that with MILin case it was that the money was being left as she has a relationship with our DCs but she said that's not the case and the hope is that they would split with any future siblings but she can see that we can't guarantee that they would do that.

OP posts:
Mumoftwoyoungkids · 12/01/2018 20:30

“Children of X” might be difficult though if X is a man. How do you share until X is dead? Men can keep on having babies into their 80s......

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/01/2018 20:30

She's said that's not the case? She must have some reason for doing it.

Redglitter · 12/01/2018 20:32

So there's provision being made for your husband's siblings, your children & also something for children the siblings might have in the future. So why is she missing out your husband?? I don't understand that

Original poster
MrsHarveySpecterV · 12/01/2018 20:38

There is provision being made equally for DH and his siblings then these trusts for our children and his siblings future children. This is in my last update. We weren't aware of this until I spoke to MIL. It sounds like the solicitor hasn't given much advice just taken down her wishes. When I spoke to MIL she said that she thinks what we have suggested re: the future children of DH trust is what relative wants but she just hasn't worded it in the right way.

OP posts:
LolitaLempicka · 12/01/2018 20:39

So if a third is being split between DH and his siblings, and a third going to your children, where is the other third going?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/01/2018 20:50

It doesn't make any sense that she'd provide for future children of your DH's siblings, but actually name your existing children despite you being pregnant. Has she told you all this directly, or have you misunderstood?
I wonder why she's so anxious for everyone to know the provisions in advance?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/01/2018 20:52

Actually; after your last update it sounds like your MIL should rein herself in and stop stirring Hmm. She really shouldn't have shared that with you.

Original poster
MrsHarveySpecterV · 12/01/2018 21:06

Sorry I think something has been lost in the understanding of this thread. There is money or assets (I don't know which) being left to DH and each of his siblings. In addition there is a trust set up a third in trust to BIL 1s future children, a third in trust to BIL 2s future children and a third split between two trusts to our DC1 and DC2. MIL is not stirring at all, she is a lovely lady who is in way over her head with the task of being executor as she's has never dealt with any finances before, FIL deals with everything financial for them. When I raised the question to her about our 3rd DC and any future DC we may have she said that this is something the solicitor should have asked our relative about but didn't. She also mentioned to me that she doesn't know what would happen with the money in the trusts for BILs future children if they don't have any and she wants to ask relative and the solicitor about this. MIL said that she was glad I had raised the questions with her so that she can make sure that everything in the will is expressed as her relative wishes. I don't know why the relative is discussing her will so much but almost every time we see her she mentions who she is leaving an ornament to or a piece of jewellery to, I don't know why she does this but DH and I usually just change the subject. We knew more about the trusts because she asked usto check the spellings of our children's names and their dates of birth to make sure she had all of the information right and she told us what it was for. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond. I hope this last post has cleared up a few points.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 12/01/2018 21:36

It may be that the solicitors are demanding the information of those beneficiaries already born. Ours were quite fussy about that though they completely messed up the information we gave them by sheer thickness, listing our DC as DC1, DC2 and "DC2's last middle name", and failed to correct that in two consecutive sets of revisions so it may be a belt-and-braces situation where they're naming "DC1 and DC2 and any other issue of DH" or something. It's easier to trace named people!!