Aibu-mother looking after dd

[Baubles22]

Hi

So my mum is going to be looking after DD sometimes.

Tonight I mentioned that we do shout at her or smack her and provide some thought around what to should DD misbehave.

Mum just called saying she is annoyed I would even suggest she would smack my child. I explained that I would say this to anyone looking after DD and that she had previously suggested that we give her a smack on the hand. Mum wasn’t shy is smacking me, so much so I can remember it quite clearly.

Aibu by mentioning this to my mother? Should I have just assumed she would never smack DD?

Thanks all for your thoughts!

I will leave it with her but she is very stubborn and probably not call and let childcare day pass, she often will cut her nose off to spite her face. One year she was being down right nasty for me for a few months continuously so I just stopped calling, she didn’t make any contact for four months essentially missing out on four months of DD being 3-7 months

Baubles she's probably feeling either guilty or judged about smacking you when you were small. Things like sugar grandparents can (but don't always) think of as more like a fad, but the rhetoric around smacking often likens it to child abuse and I think some older parents are really touchy about it.

Try not to stress about it and play things by ear. YWNBU to mention it. It probably needed to be said. Just because she reacted badly doesn't mean it didn't need saying.

Crosspost with your last - she doesn't sound very reliable, are you sure you want her taking on regular childcare?

If you can't discuss childcare issue with your mum, especially since she did hit you growing up and has suggested hitting your DC previously, then she shouldn't be providing childcare for you.

Thank you and I think until she can have these conversations with me then it’s not going to happen. Husband just reminded me she said (in a friendly way) ‘oh shut up’ to DD recently so that is going to have to be another conversation, again a topic that she would take offence to