To be very cross with my dm

[Bex2110]

DH and I were due to go out this evening and my dm offered to come to look after ds who is 9 months old. Dm and dad live roughly 3 hours from us. We saw her at the start of this week and she had a sore throat and temp. I called her today to see how she was and said that there was no need for her to come if she wasn’t feeling up to it. She said she was fine.

Fast forward to her arrival and it’s clear she is very unwell with the flu. I’m angry that she has brought the bug here and has exposed my young son to it. WIBU to ask her to go home tomorrow?

Are you sure it’s flu? It could be a heavy cold. It would be irritating to be exposed to it but it might be too late now anyway...

I really do see why you’re upset, but realistically, can somebody with proper flu travel for three hours? If she is that bad, could you ask her to stay in her room so she doesn’t pass whatever she has onto your son?

I’m sure you could word it an a compassionate “I’m sorry you’re so poorly, and I’m sure you don’t want to pass it on to your grandson, so could you please not have any contact with him” type way than “how dare you bring the plague to my house” accusatory way.

No way has she got flu
This is a real bug bear of mine. If she is out of bed it isn't flu but a bad cold
Give her a break. She obviously didn't want to let you down

If she made the journey, it's not flu. It's a cold. Sorry but you need to calm down.

No way has the woman got flu because she wouldn't be able to travel 3hours, anyway she doesn't want to let you down

I’m pretty sure it’s flu. Coughing, high temp, aching, flushed. My dad drove so she probably slept in the car. I don’t mean to be awful to her but I do suffer with anxiety and I become really anxious around ill people. I just really don’t want my baby to get it. My dh has flu at the start of the year and last weekend my ds came down with a virus. He’s only just appearing to be better and I really don’t want him to be ill again. I’m due to start work on Monday after my maternity leave too so now would really not be a great time for him to be ill. I’m just really panicking here!!!

I’d be annoyed too OP & would ask her to avoid contact. And just for the record my DD was diagnosed with flu A by hospital blood test, although it presented in her as a mild cold so symptoms do vary.

I do feel awful and I understand that she didn’t want to let me down, I just get so panicky. I know it’s my problem really but I just am so worried about my baby becoming unwell.

it's not good but how sad is it she obviously didn't want to let you down. Look after your dm

I understand that but I did say that we didn’t have to go out because she was unwell. I just think she should have been honest about how ill she is

Oh no I totally understand, sorry wasn't having a go at you. I just meant that her not letting you down was more obviously important to her than admitting she feels like shit... which is of course ridiculous but i suppose she did mean well. My dm would do the same! I hope your ds is ok

She shouldn't have come to your home, but what's done is done. You are all already exposed so her leaving tomorrow wouldn't make any difference. You'll either get sick or you won't.

She probably looked after you as a baby whilst ill. She was just trying to do you a favour.

Having the snots, feeling hot and lungy is not the flu.

Maybe df was going to do the looking after?