I dont want my baby

[Digitalash]

I love her, shes my world but if someone came along tonight and said they would take her, they could.
I got told my best/only friend has got weeks/months left to live today and its just floored me. Shes only been ill since december.
So tonight i dont want my baby i want to get drunk but alas babies hate drunk mums for some reason.
Am i a terrible person for thinking like this? She isnt even hard work for a 10 month old so i dont know what my issue is.
This is why being a single mum sucks sometimes.
I dont really know why i wrote this tbh but it made me feel a bit better so thanks of you got to the end.

You sound like you just need a bit of time to process the news, be selfish and wallow (we all need that sometimes) and that can't really happen when yoi care for a baby.

Give yourself some time, you sound like you are in shock

I'm sorry to hear about your best friend. Terminal illness is never easy to deal with and always devastating.

When you say you don't want your baby, do you mean going forward as a permanent thing or just tonight?

If it's just tonight, can you not find a sitter? A friend? Anyone who can watch her so you can have some time to process what you've been told?

You do want your baby. You just want some time off from responsibility and shit news .

Could you get a babysitter and have a night out? Sorry about your friend, that's awfully sad and cruel.

I don't think it's your baby you don't want, I think it's the crushing responsibility of being her sole carer when you've had a massive, devastating shock. You need to be looked after and to have time to get your head around the news

Is there anyone who could give you a break? I'm so sorry about your friend

Sorry yeah i just mean for tonight, im sire id miss her by morning. I have no sitters to call though, only sitters i have are my terminal friend who obviously cant sit anymore and my mum who lives 60 miles away so doesnt want to.
I think thats what has upset me in a way i just feel so alone with little support (hence MN, where everyone should turn when feeling shit)

And there is no wine in. Not sure if thats good or bad.

Whereabouts do you live, OP? Someone may be able to suggest local-ish childcare?

So sorry about your friend.

I am so very sorry OP, what a horrible shock.

You do need time to adjust, maybe lots of chocolate instead of wine?!

You poor lovely friend will need you going forward...sending you hugs.

I am so very sorry OP, what a horrible shock.

You do need time to adjust, maybe lots of chocolate instead of wine?!

You poor lovely friend will need you going forward...sending you hugs.

It must be unbelievably hard being a lone parent. At times like these when you need somebody to give you a big cuddle and take the baby off you so you can have some time to yourself.

Sending you a virtual big hug xxx

Thank you everyone, youve made me cry with all your nice words.

Chocolate does sound like a good idea! I have that in abundance.

Take it easy OP, be kind to yourself as much as you can - you sound like a caring person (and good Mum) who's had horrible news xx

Chocolate always makes me feel better and no hangover, so much easier with baby in the morning...

Drowning your sorrows is always tempting but never a good idea. Chances are the alcohol will make you feel worse not better.

Try crying and cursing the universe. Then chocolate. Then think what you can do to help your lovely friend through her last few months.

(((((((hugs)))))), (((((((((hugs)))))))) and more (((((hugs)))))). What awful news for you and your friend. Chocolate is good and I hope you feel better in the morning. It's a horrible shock to be alone with. So sorry you're having to deal with this without company.

What about babies dad?

I am so sorry for this awful news.

Alcohol is a depressant. Chocolate isn't.