To push a relocation back to London?

[Bakingbitch]

Nc'd knows I'm on here and I need to vent...I moved out of London with my DH 5 years ago to chase the suburban dream. We have a beautiful 5 bedroom house in Surrey and 3 lovely children together. His job relocated to Surrey and my job was on the outskirts of London so it made complete sense to move at the time....DH was made redundant last year and now has a job in central London with long hours and a commute that he complains about daily...I changed jobs and work in Central so I suggested we look at moving back to the City so that we can cut down the commute time and also to enjoy everything the city has to offer...my kids miss London as do I, hugely. My DH thinks I'm being selfish and unreasonable but I think this would be a really positive move and he DC are all for it....Aibu to keep pushing this? I've found a lovey Victorian that we could just about afford which would cut down our commute to around 30 mins a day (round trip). There are great schools in the areas I've been looking at...I find my suburban life as dull as dishwater, I want to join clubs and have hobbies that just don't exist in my village as do my DC....I'm probably being selfish.

We are doing the exact same thing!

For years we said "green field, rolling hills, fresh air..." and I never get to see my son because of the huge commute, the house takes all our free time in its upkeep, and as you say, our interests are not catered for.

Luckily my DP is on board. Why isn't your DH if he complains about the long commute?

It will shorten his commute. Your kids want to move.

In what way is this selfish? You say he says this, but then accuse yourself of it in your final sentence. Please stop internalising what he is saying.

Why does he not want to move? Can you compromise? The city and a village are kind of extreme opposites, perhaps there are places that cater for everyone - Guildfird, Kingston or smaller towns? Hard to answer though without knowing why your DH doesn't want to move

I think that sounds like a brilliant plan with no cons, it improves life for everyone. Why does your DH think this is unreasonable?

Yes it sounds great. Commuting is a killer. Go for it!

Commute would swing it for me. How can u be enjoying where unlike when u spend so much time travelling and being tired

I would definitely do it - sounds like there are many more fors than againsts.

If you’re looking at state schools bear in mind that the situation is dire in London now with rules and catchment areas, and you could actually set up house in the playground of your nearest school and still not get a place. Independent schools aren’t as bad, provided you register your children while they are still foetuses.

It seems a no brainer - why is he resistant? It doesn’t seem selfish at all - that would be a lovely short commute and you’d have so much more possibility of family time together.

Why wouldn't you? Do it!

Why would it be selfish when it’s better for all of you?! And even so, sometimes you need to be a bit selfish, and put your own mental and emotional well-being first - and in this case the kids agree with you. Just be wary of school catchment areas when house hunting, they can be absolutely tiny so you need to do your research.

I agree a no brainer - go for it - living in London is just so great (particularly for the kids). When we get to stay where DH works (every other month atm) I get to have a 20 minute commute (walking) and it's heaven!

I would go for it! Your quality of life and your family life will be so much better without the commute. Plus you will save loads on train fares (add it up for the number of years you think you will both be working). Commuting a long way can really wear people down over time, you will be well rid of it.

We are doing the same at the moment, I've been itching to get back to the city from the moment we left, our hometown is lovely and consistently rated one of the best places to live in the country but it isn't the life for me. My DP was a little resistant at first but the cost of living where we currently are isn't really any cheaper than the area of London we are looking at renting and then buying in. I'm going back to uni and don't want a huge commute, and DP can get better money and more variety of jobs working in London. He wanted to stay near our families but it isn't too far away for regular visits. If your DC want to move back too maybe push that angle with your DH? Show him all the things that the DC will get to enjoy that will be on your doorstep rather than a fractious journey away. Definitely check the schools before though, as a Pp said some of the catchment areas are ridiculously tiny.

Do it now before It's too late! London prices rise faster than anywhere else, if you leave it too long you'll be priced out. We are, we'll never go back. I miss it.

Why does your DH say you're being selfish?
The only disadvantages I could see would be the stamp duty and the disruption to schools. Otherwise go for it! SW London is a great place to live for so many reasons.

Keep pushing it! :) If it's still a no what about somewhere like Esher, Twickenham or Kingston where you can get into London quite quickly and still be surburby?