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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell this shop owner I think her behaviour is unprofessional

265 replies

Dressily · 12/01/2018 05:31

I am buying a few expensive items from a shop (expense relevant because I expect a certain level of service when buying expensive items). I went into the shop a few weeks ago and selected the items I want. These items aren't just for me so last week the other person involved went to see the items themselves. Once they confirmed that, yes, they agree with my selection all was good and I wanted to go ahead and make the order. There was some rush to this as the items have (for a limited time) been placed on sale. This was further complicated by the fact that I don't live in the UK so needed to pay for the items from overseas using a foreign bank account.

I found the woman I dealt with in the shop (the owner) extremely unprofessional for the following reasons:

  • All email communications from her are extremely sloppy. She does not proof read so there are many spelling errors/typos. Whatever email program she uses is plain text so the emails look scruffy anyway, no footer image or contact details.
  • She has hounded me to pay for these items, despite knowing that I was waiting for the other person to confirm. I get explain to me that the discount is for a limited time so please confirm ASAP but to keep emailing so often is a bit much
  • I told her I would make a card payment over the phone expecting that she would ring the transaction through and then do a "cardholder not present" payment on the till. Nope, I called to give my details and her response was oo let me just get my pen. No! I don't want you writing down my card details! The connection was so bad that the call was terminated before I gave all the details.
  • I asked for a load of details to do an international transfer (you need more info than for a regular transfer) but she only gave me the usual account no. and sort code. When I pointed this out and asked her to refer to my previous email she sent me some details saying "this is what you need for an international transfer" but obviously hadn't read my request because she didn't give me all the details I needed. This was followed up a couple of hours later with a "how's the payment coming" email.
  • I really need/want these items, especially at the sale price, so I don't have much option but to buy from her

AIBU to email her letting her know that I find her behaviour very unprofessional and detailing why that's the case?

OP posts:
PassiveAgressivePenguin · 12/01/2018 07:15

Hmmm. It sounds to me that this is a small independent shop perhaps of unusual items and not used to dealing with overseas customer. The woman you are dealing with may well not be used to scenarios such as this. These ideas are expensive and despite you having not mentioned you have laid down a deposit to secure them, she feels communication needs to be maintained for her to be sure that the transaction will go through. Not unusual for small independent retail that would be limited for space for stock turnover.

I think you are BVU. You seem rather expectant. Take the items or leave them. If you’re not able to deal with it yourself you should have transferred the money to the person you have looking at the items and let them take care of it face to face.

londonrach · 12/01/2018 07:17

Op..your aibu doesnt come across very well on here so if this is how to write to the owner i can see you get her back up. There is a few mistake too if you being picky not that it matters. Some email doesnt allow you to spell check etc. That frankly desnt matter. Re read whats you have written. You sound entitled, think you better than her and tbh not very nice. You achieve more by being polite and nice. Yabu based on your post here. The shop owner doesnt have to sell to you. Your transaction sounds complicated so she might be struggling to do it.

GnomeDePlume · 12/01/2018 07:18

I am not sure what feedback you want to give her. How to deal with difficult customers? How to deal with international customers? How to deal with slow decision makers?

Orchardgreen · 12/01/2018 07:21

Did you get married in Maui?

Roussette · 12/01/2018 07:29

For a long time I worked in an upmarket independent shop and TBH you sound like the sort of customer we used to dread. Whilst we would bend over backwards to make something almost impossible happen, the procastinating an messing around sometimes makes it that you get past caring about the sale because it's more trouble than it's worth.

All this about the friend seeing it, approving it, the faff about paying... when you're dealing with a lot of people at sale time you are thinking just get on with it. Either buy it or don't buy it, we're not interested in your friend and whether she might like it, YOU are the one completing the sale, do you actually want it or not???

We've put things by for people out the goodness of our hearts during sale time when it's against our policy, we've lost sales trying to please customers, we've bent over backwards to make something happen but been messed about. Please just do it or don't do it and don't make the way things work the fault of the woman trying to make this happen for you.

Altwoo · 12/01/2018 07:29

I recognise you too. You have a...distinctive way of talking about people Grin

Altwoo · 12/01/2018 07:30

I recognise you too. You have a...distinctive way of talking about people Grin

ZoeWashburne · 12/01/2018 07:30

So you want some items to be held (for free- so no one else can buy them) for you whilst you decide if you actually want them or not, then get upset when they ask you if you actually want them. Finally, you can only pay by international bank transfer (which is very annoying).

Frankly, I find it funny you are so frustrated by a few typos when your posts are filled with typos.

If you are so annoyed, go elsewhere. But I agree, you sound incredibly entitled and pushy.

SoupDragon · 12/01/2018 07:31

but in either case I need to do an international transfer so it's easier to transfer straight to her

Clearly it isn’t easier at all.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 12/01/2018 07:34

OP is getter a hard time quite deservedly.

She’s not being arsed around, she is the one doing the arsing around.

CisCucumber · 12/01/2018 07:35

She just sounds friendly
Shes not your lawyer or surgeon she is just selling some stuff
You sound like pita
Perhaps you need her more than she needs the hassle

MsHopey · 12/01/2018 07:38

I'm clearly not on here often enough. I don't recognise OP.
And everyone is just making me curious

Hellothereitsme · 12/01/2018 07:38

Sounds like she has been holding stock back for you, so that firstly you get it a sale price and secondly do that your friend could see the things. She probably could have sold the items three times now so I think she is right to be fed up with you.

LostInShoebiz · 12/01/2018 07:41

Guys, have some sympathy. Sounds like the very expensive item might be the perfect table and chairs for hosting a Fajita Friday.

I understand, OP: life is hard when no one meets your unreasonably high demands. sigh

Jammydodger81 · 12/01/2018 07:42

Gosh people are really sticking the boot in without reading the OP properly!

Just to recap for those who don’t understand:

the seller isn’t holding the items, anyone is free to buy them as OP has stated

the OP isn’t ‘expecting’ a discount or asking for it. The seller is having a post Christmas sale and OP is keen to complete before this finishes so she doesn’t miss out on this.

Furthermore, if the seller doesn’t want the hassle of international payments she could always say no? Why are you getting at OP for how awkward this is when the seller has said it’s ok?

OP, I really wouldn’t email her to tell her she’s being unprofessional, it’s rude. Just get your items and forget about how she runs her business. Or don’t buy from her, again it’s that beautiful thing called choice.

Littledrummergirl · 12/01/2018 07:42

You're not yet a customer - you haven't bought anything.
You have wasted the shops time though so far.
Either buy using paypal credit card/shops accepted means of payment , or don't buy.

I would have stopped communication with you before now. Your sale is more important to you than them.

Roussette · 12/01/2018 07:50

I would love to know what this article is. I would love to know what the mark up is. I know how sales work. It is quite possible this item is being sold at cost price... sometimes to clear stock it goes as low as that. I would imagine shop woman is at the end of her tether with you.

AngeloMysterioso · 12/01/2018 07:51

I’m gonna have a guess at what these mysterious “items” are... bridesmaid dresses?

Lucylululu · 12/01/2018 07:52

Yes, you would be rude and unreasonable. She is a shop assistant and you are expecting her to go out of her way for you. So she made some spelling mistakes and didn't know how to take international orders. That's hardly a crime of the century. Lots of people don't know how to do that. She probably wasn't trained for it and it would be really rude for you to attack her for it. And if items are in a sale then she probably wanted you to pay ASAP to ensure you got them for the sale price which you say is so important. She was probably trying to help by emailing you reminders. And she can hardly be held to blame because the phone line was bad on a international call. Really I think this was badly thought out from your end. I live abroad and if I need to make UK purchases I'd the money via online banking to a friend or relative so they can easily purchase for me. Please don't be spiteful and send her a hateful email detailing all her 'faults'. I can't stand people who do this. You're just going to hurt her feelings, knock her confidence, and make her feel like shit. And for what? If you don't like her behaviour then shop elsewhere, don't make her question herself and feel awful. That would be REALLY cruel. Think about your actions and how they might make other people feel.

AJPTaylor · 12/01/2018 07:52

Choose to do business with her or not. No doubt people who go to the shop get a great level of service.
Judge her on whether the goods arrive at the great price you wanted.
See also car repairs and builders . Dont care if they can spell bumper or conservatory correctly. Can they do the job and the maths are my only questions

UnicornRainbowColours · 12/01/2018 07:56

You sound a little bit entitled and a little bit of a Pain the A! The women is doing her job, it’s not her problem that your waiting for your other buyer to get back to your u etc.

Isadora2007 · 12/01/2018 07:57

Don’t complain. Wait until after your items arrive and then you can email if you want.
I recently made the mistake of complaining on a relevant Facebook group about poor customer service I was receiving from a company. It was all honest and, I feel, justified. However the woman who runs the company took offence and, despite telling me my order had been sent then cancelled it completely. I was fully refunded, so not out of pocket. But the item I had waited for for 3 months would have been preferable.

Lesson learnt. Put up and shut up. Then complain AfTER!!

ItIsTooEarly · 12/01/2018 07:58

Did you get married in Maui?

Ah, I recognised the style but couldn't place it.

Quickerthanavicar · 12/01/2018 07:58

Was it a crown you ordered?

MsHopey · 12/01/2018 07:58

I never thought of something as simple as bridesmaids dresses.
I was imagining something like a glass birdbath!