This is a completely new area for me, hence the asking. I have ASD and didn't ever have any parties as a child (or as a grownup, really. When I married DH, I had a freak out and we ended up only inviting our close families), so I'm panicking that I might have done the wrong thing.
DS is turning 5 in a week or so, one of the youngest in his year, and as he's already been to a few 5th birthday parties he's been talking about his own one for about 6 months - every time we've told him that we wouldn't be doing a big party like some of the ones he'd been to. Fast forward to this week, the guilt has got to me and we've decided to invite a couple of his close friends from his class to our house the weekend of his birthday for a "party" - actually more like a glorified play-date but with cake and a theme. He's invited two children from his class - both in his group, one boy, one girl. I spoke to the parents individually, rather than through school, if that makes a difference. But I do know that DS has talked about it at school, because the girl he's invited was talking about his party before we had decided to do our thing at home.
AIBU to do it this way?? I'm panicking that the other children will be upset with DS that they weren't invited, or that I'll be seen to be excluding children. In reality, I wouldn't be able to cope with the realities of organising something for 30 children (by the time we'd have to include cousins and out-of-school-friends)