to ask about business transactions between online acquaintances?

[MissSpock]

Situation:

You know someone online, in a forum. Much like Mumsnet. You've sent PMs a few times recently but not so much.

You found out she was the one who messaged you on eBay asking for a particular item. She lives overseas so you told that buyer that you don't ship overseas because of all these dangers to the seller (e.g. if the buyer claims it's not as described, eBay usually sides with the buyer, so you're going to pay the return fee on top of refunding the original fee, which is a substantial amount, etc)

But then you found out this person you know from a certain forum (and who seems nice and reputable) was the one who messaged you.

Would you sell to her?

Would you tell her that you're X from Y forum?

I almost certainly wouldn’t because I’d be suspicious they knew me and were preying on my trust.

No way!!!! They have been sneaky about this. Chance of it happening- very slim to never. Please don't OP!!

No I wouldn't. You never know who anyone is online.

Can I just ask the cost of the item? Don't need to know what it is.

I probably would, yeah. Assuming I wouldn't lose more than about £30 on postage and fees if it went badly. But if you don't feel comfortable about it, then go with your gut instinct.

The item costs around £500 and if the transaction goes wrong, and I am forced to pay both original and return fee, because it's overseas, I could be out £160 (with insurance, etc). This is the reason I don't ship overseas.

Certainly not something worth £500

Stick to your guns, don’t ship overseas

No

If they make a friends and family payment, no problem.

Did they know who was selling and wanted a better deal or is it coincidence? I'd treat it purely as business.

Meaning that I'd stick to my guns and not ship it.

No, just coincidence. She seems to be a decent person on the forum. She hasn't asked for a better deal.

Sorry, no, they don't know that I (the person from the forum) is the eBay seller.

I wouldn't do it. Is it an item she could get elsewhere, or in her own country?

Having been a forum admin for four years... it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them or how normal and legit they seem... DONT!

ArchchancellorsHat

It's a long-discontinued item that's very hard to find in very good condition.

Seems like a really huge coincidence? Someone you sort of know from a forum manages to ask about an item you are selling on eBay by pure chance? I would be suspicious that she was stalking me! But I am a worrier.

bobstersmum

It is the only one of that item on eBay at the moment so maybe it was just a coincidence.

I'm not really suspicious that she's stalking me because I never posted my eBay username in that forum. But I'm more worried about the risks of shipping an expensive item to overseas, not necessarily to this buyer. I've heard of horror stories - if the buyer changes her mind, the least that could happen is the buyer sends it back and I will be hit with the shipping original and back. The worst is, well, the buyer could make a switch and send me a different item and once eBay sees it's been delivered, I'm out of my money PLUS the shipping fees.

Could you say that you would be happy to sell only if someone in UK collects it?

Leeds2

My listing is actually supposed to be seen just here because I stated I only ship here. I guess the buyer went to the UK site that's why she found it.

I know she really really likes the item since she's been posting about it for many months.

I have exchanged PMs with this buyer and she told me she's had a problem with a transaction with a fellow forum poster. Based on her story, it seems that the other person was the one at fault.