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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how those of you with nursery experience think of this...

54 replies

karmacoma1 · 11/01/2018 17:49

Dd is 10 months. I got made redundant on mat leave, had a dreadful time finding a job, and I now finally have one.

I found a nursery a few minutes from my new job, dd had the settling in sessions before xmas, all went well. Dd started nursery 2nd jan, the day before my new role started. I had a call half way through the day from nursery, saying dd had ‘gunk in one eye, that they’ve had to wipe three tines’ so I had to come and get her.
I went to pick her up, they advised that she need to see a doctor and if she had conjunctivitis and was given medication they wouldn’t take her for 48 hours Sad

Cue an incredibly stressful evening of me desperately trying to sort c/care whiletvwaiting st the walk-in centre - mil finally came to my rescue, she had her the next day, I explained the situation to new boss when I went in, then I had the following day off to look after her, they let me take it as holiday.
Now today the sane thing has happened AGAIN. I’ve had to leave work early, completely stressed because what kind of fucking impression must they have of me already? Looks like I’ll be missing tomorrow as well.

My DH is furious with the nursery and says I’m being made a mug of as ‘they still get paid either way’ and said that I’ll probably lose my job if this keeps happening.

I’m sorry that was long winded, my question is, is this normal for the nursery to do this? Should I be looking to send her elsewhere? The doctor I saw with dd said the nursery should take her in?
She’s my first and I have nothing to compare it to.

OP posts:
PirateYellowbelly · 11/01/2018 17:52

My son got conjunctivitis frequently at nursery. They wouldn't take him with it unless he had started treatment. If he had eye drops on prescription, they were happy to have him back in.

ElenaBothari · 11/01/2018 17:55

It’s very common, and the main disadvantage of using nurseries (vs childminders or nannies) is that they have such strict exclusion policies for contagious illness.

Firsttimemama2017 · 11/01/2018 17:56

Same at my nursery and to be honest this is probably just the start of the nursery illnesses!

My daughter started in October and barely did a full week in nursery until end of December with various illnesses and conjunctivitis.

Can’t your husband take more time off seeing as your in a new job? My partner and I split time off equally when our daughter is ill.

It does get better, my daughter has been ok for about the last 6 weeks, touch wood!

seriouslynonames · 11/01/2018 17:56

My nursery call in same circumstances. They say you have to go to doc and get cream or whatever and once you have put it on they will take her back. They only exclude for 48 hours for vomiting or the runs. That was fun with a refluxy baby!
My doc said no need for the meds for her eye but that he would prescribe so i could take her back to nursery. Both me and DH had to leave work early that day - one to get her to doc before it closed and the other to pick up our older daughter. So was a massive rush - and I had not long started new job too... Look up nhs guidelines on conjunctivitis and take then to nursery - there is no indication to keep them off 48 hours. Good luck

Afreshcuppateaplease · 11/01/2018 18:00

This is standard

Original poster
karmacoma1 · 11/01/2018 18:01

Thank you for your responses.... I feared as much, that this is very common.

It always falls to me, as dh works on the road as a fitter.

I am going to give it a month and if it keeps on I’m going to look into child minding and see if that’s any better.

OP posts:
Lawyermama1987 · 11/01/2018 18:03

Mine is the same. I can understand your frustration though - can hubby help out one day?

watchedfrozentoomanytimes · 11/01/2018 18:03

My DD’s nursery do not exclude for conjunctivitis. It’s not an excludable thing in schools as well!!! They do suggest parents keep children off but can’t insist on it - so her nursery told me.

fluffycat5601 · 11/01/2018 18:03

How stressful for you having started a new job. Hope they understand and your DDs eyes clear up soon.

FraterculaArctica · 11/01/2018 18:05

My 16 month old is in nursery 4 days a week. Over the last few months I.e. winter she's had so many high temperatures and other bugs I reckon she's missed an average of one day a week. So yes this could just be the tip of the iceberg. It is absolutely horrendous if you have no emergency backup.

DoItAgainBob · 11/01/2018 18:05

Most conjunctivitis is viral and doesn't require antibiotics. I would have a google and reeducate them as their policy sounds out dated.

natwebb79 · 11/01/2018 18:07

This is why I'm glad I chose a childminder over a nursery. Pretty much every time my boys got a cold they got gunky eyes and the doctor confirmed that it was just mucus from their cold rather than an infection so the childminder said they were fine to go in. Doctor said if the white of the eye isn't red you're good to go. My colleagues with small children in a nursery have had so many phone calls calling them away from work.

coffeecoffeemorecoffee · 11/01/2018 18:07

I got told by my doctor when Dd had conjunctivitis not to get fobbed off with exclusion rules because the rules regarding conjunctivitis have changed.... and that was ages ago!

Only1scoop · 11/01/2018 18:08

Why can't your dh share the time off when sick

Will it always be you?

Coldilox · 11/01/2018 18:09

Our nursery will allow them in if they have drops or cream to treat it

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 11/01/2018 18:11

This sounds so stressful, bless you. Do your employers seem understanding? As others have said, this isn't unusual and your boss probably isn't giving it anywhere near the headspace you are.

There's a mum in my team who takes all responsibility for childcare and fairly often has to leave early or take time off for ill children. All we ever think is that we hope her children are okay.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/01/2018 18:11

This sounds stressful for you Flowers

It seems that you're taking all the stress through. Your dh should be steppIng up here, especially as you have a new job and are keen to impress at this stage.

Is there a reason he isn't? (I don't know anything about being a fitter in the road). Does he earn significantly more than you? Why can't he say he has to look after his dd cos she's poorly? Why is it your responsibility?

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 11/01/2018 18:18

Our nursery will take them. We advise that they should get medication if necessary but after a first bout you know what it is and the pharmacist will usually give something over the counter ime. It's not an illness with a recommended exclusion time anymore.

Original poster
karmacoma1 · 11/01/2018 18:21

In regards to dh - he works on the road all over the country during the week. For example the nursery rang him after I didn’t pick up at first ( I was in a meeting) he was nearly 100 miles away from the nursery at that time so even if he had dropped everything and come straight away it would be near enough closing time at nursery.

DHs father also had a severe stroke over Christmas Sad which along with being incredibly upsetting also leaves us in lurch for any back up childcare. I have explained this to the nursery but well. I suppose it’s not their problem really.

Thank you all for your responses - what several users have brought up about child minders is very interesting- I’m going to have a look into it.

I spoke to the manager of the nursery about the nhs guidelines and she said that it didn’t matter - it was the nurseries policies and they were safe guarding children.

It’s so frustrating. Sad

OP posts:
AppleTrayBake · 11/01/2018 18:22

Having young children and trying to work is very stressful, especially the pre-school years. This is why I only work two days a week!

I've found childminders better. My DC's old nursery had a two week exclusion period for Chicken Pox, (even if the spots had all scabbed over) who can take two weeks off work?!

Interesting what people are saying about conjunctivitis, I didn't know the advice had changed.

TJ2503 · 11/01/2018 18:22

I had this same issue with DS1's nursery - he had conjunctivitis and they refused to have him back unless he had eye drops. I trotted off to the GP to get some eye drops only to be told the nursery is essentially talking out of their arse, conjunctivitis was a cold of the eye, he did not need eye drops and he wanted the name of DS's nursery so he could update them....

arethereanyleftatall · 11/01/2018 18:28

Being 100 miles away explains why your dh couldn't pick up that day, but if he commutes daily (?) then he could have done Day 2?

tshirtsuntan · 11/01/2018 18:33

Why is it always you? Is there a reason dh can't collect sometimes?