To ask at what age it stops being ok to take own food into a pub/ restaurant for toddler?

[WinkyisbackontheButterBeer]

Just wondering really. At what age would you say that you have to buy your toddler a meal, rather than take something for them?

I'd say up to age 3 is fine. Lots of my friends take packed lunches even at 3-4 if dc are fussy. It depends on the place. A lot of children's meals are too big for a 2 yo as well and they eat very little of it. As for sharing an adult meal, i don't want to order something my fussy toddler would want! If I'm going to treat myself to a meal out I choose a meal I want.

I'd always make sure I was buying something for the child e.g. drink, cake. As long as we're spending enough money I don't see it as an issue.

I think explaining issues to the waitress/ manager goes a long way but if they say child has to have a meal from the menu at a certain age then so be it. Their restaurant, their rules.

Personally, I would always call ahead and check rather than turn up and and expect a restaurant to accommodate a non-eating child. I’m aware, however, that many people expect the world to revolve around them.

I think bumbles stance is totally fair enough as a business. Especially as she says they cater to other diets.

From the ages of about 3 - 11 I would only eat 6 foods, no matter what. Nothing would persuade me to eat any other foods. I can't imagine children get a whole lot more restricted than that. My parents still never took food to a restaurant. It just wasn't done in those days, I don't think. The restaurant either helped them adapt something so I would eat, cooked something special or else I had a drink and sat and coloured in. It possibly meant we didn't do go out as much as my parents would have liked to, I don't know.

I'd say it's OK to bring your own food until they're about 1. After that they can either share your meal or have their own, depending on the restaurant and what's on offer.

DS was a very fussy/limited eater until 2.5 years old - not only would he not eat food ordered for him, but he would also cry when confronted with it. I always brought a sandwich and explained that it was best for everyone if he ate that.

We never once had a problem. If two adults are paying £50 for lunch, who cares if the accompanying toddler orders or not?

When they are no longer eating baby food out of a jar.

I don’t think most restaurants have a problem with children just sharing their parents food. My husband and I share a main course but add an extra salad in one of our favourite beach cafes as the portions are so big. I’d think most wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a few breadsticks or a rice cake. If a full on picnic came out, they’d have a right to be irritated. If your child won’t eat from menu don’t go to that restaurant.

I can also understand bumbles stance, because it's easier just to say no than to draw a line.
Eg I think like many people have said, most restaurants don't mind a few rice cakes, but a full picnic is rude (especially if they serve similar); so rather than trying to explain this, it's easier to say no.

My boys are 16 months now and it depends on where we are going / what we are doing.

If it's their mealtime and there's anything I can give them (allergic to dairy and soy while I am allergic to nuts and seeds - keeps life interesting!) then I'll order them something. If not, I usually carry a snack (mini breadsticks, crackers etc). I wouldn't bring actual food for them but will give them a snack

We only ever took out purée pouches / jars, or at most a packet of rice cakes, to restaurants with our DC.

So they were eating food off our plates before they were 12 months old.

My DC are older now so weaned at an early age, we took the jars and maybe some breadsticks with us until they were onto proper food.

They didn’t have issues with food although DC2 was fussy so we could eat in most places and order food for all the family. Sometimes this would be shared depending on hunger levels and portion sizes. We did always look on the menu to ensure that there was a basic tomato pasta dish as this was DC2 fail safe option.

Now I try to frequent the types of restaurants that prevent BYO food as they tend to have less entitled parents there with better behaved DC.

If two adults are paying £50 for lunch, who cares if the accompanying toddler orders or not?

2 adults with a toddler will likely be taking up a table for 4 people. So the restaurant has lost 2 paying covers, to accommodate a non-paying child. That may be fine if they aren't full (better 2 customers than none), but few restaurants can afford to do this at peak times. Margins in catering are very tight - think of how many cafes & restaurants come & go.

I think it really depends on the restaurant too. Somewhere family friendly, I wouldn't hesitate to - and I do- take snacks for DD (21 months) like a little pot of chopped fruit or cheese and some breadsticks. She's fussy, and quite a grazer. No way would she eat a child's meal yet. But at this age I wouldn't wheel out a whole meal, I'd feed her properly at home before we went and then just let her snack on a couple of bits or pick off our plates if she would. She always has her own cup too because I only give her water or milk. I've never had a problem getting her cup refilled, though obviously if I asked for milk if expect to pay for it.

Somewhere really nice, I probably wouldn't do that, but then I probably wouldn't take DD if I was going somewhere fancy anyway

And as for - ”Also I can't stand it when parents give their child bits off their plate. I think it looks cheap. I buy my child a meal when out, why wouldn't I?”

I went out for breakfast with DS3 (13 months) earlier this week. I ordered him his own slice of toast. Sliced it up for him. He ate maybe an eighth of it. Threw the rest of the pieces he was offered on the floor.

This is fairly typical behaviour for DS3 at the minute, and makes buying him his own plate of food a waste of both money and food (the toast was only 50p, but even so....)
When he’s actually consuming more food, then he’ll be bought his own meal. Until then, he can share mine.

That assumes all tables are full, which is rarely the case. Also a toddler sharing their parents meal would also take up a seat.

I would have been happy to eat elsewhere if a restaurant had a problem with it, but that literally never happened.

I would say puréed food or food in a jar is fine. Sandwich and crisps not so fine.

Completely different when it comes to allergies/sensory issues etc.

I buy my kids their own meals, youngest 18months. But this may change, and if so, I will only be able to take them to a restaurant that can cater for quite extreme food allergies- or contact them ahead of visiting and check it’s ok to bring snacks for my allergic child.
I wouldn’t ever assume, unless somewhere like costa and even then I’d be buying for at least two adults and politely check that my ds can eat snacks I bring due to food allergies.
I stopped taking youngest food when he was about a year, and then I’d use his elder brothers portion and split it with him- youngest eats more than elder brother, so saves food waste

Well I don't know about any other parents of toddlers but I haven't taken my boys out for a meal at peak hours EVER, nor have we ever been somewhere that's been full (because it's never 8pm on a weekend when we are out!) so refusing to let me give my children breadsticks would result in one less table use and a bit less money in the till that day.

I have a sure fire way of keeping my children quiet while waiting for food to arrive, and it is snacks. I'm happy to let them scream the place down if others would prefer.

Before kids, my idea of a perfect night out would be going to a very nice restaurant - haven't been to one since they were born since those places never have kids in them, and I'm sure we wouldn't be welcome based on some of the -judgmental shrews-- comments here

I'd say 18-24 months really. Although the portion sizes on kids meals are usually huge for this age. I sometimes get one to share between both of my children.

Charolais “My son told me when he was going to uni in England he bought some fast food to go, take-away, and when he got to the door he saw it was pouring with rain so he sat down to eat it there and was asked to leave!!

Wow, just wow!”

This was very badly handled, but unfortunately if placed allow people who have not paid the add-on tax to eat in they can be very heavily fined. There is an add on tax for eating in. It is just tax, the restaurant doesn’t make more money, and HMRC do do undercover spot checks. I’m not sure if the staff could have offered your son the option to pay the tax as a top up but they should have explained it more sympathetically.

I would say max of 12 months unless there is a particular issue eg allergies/asd where foods an issue

If it's the kind of restaurant where people often just have a drink and possibly a snack, fine. Basically the vast majority of restaurants people generally take small children to. I've always bought drinks for the kids as soon as they were old enough to handle them, and they could share adults food and have some bread or chips etc. Restaurants generally make their profit from drinks.
Ds2 has extreme food issues so we had a few years of going out to eat, ordering chips or similar, and having distress from the Wrong Chips or something, so I always have food for him in my bag - any restaurant would prefer some incoming food to a howling child!
We don't take him anywhere posh though - Pizza Express, curry house, local pub -
mainly coffee shops.