To think you should not tell your DC when you are on a diet?

[Hadenoughtoday01]

My DM (I'm a child of the 70s/80s) was constantly dieting. Well she bought diet foods, but looking back at pics of her - she never really needed to diet. I've never had a weight problem but developed anorexia in my late teens (when I was at uni) thankfully mine was 'caught' early and after therapy I learned to love my food again. But even as fortysomething, and a mum of two DDs, aware about having a healthy attitude to food (my healthy; eating a reasonable amount of fruit and veg, fish and meat - and ocassional treats not to mention drinking water and keeping squash and fizzy drinks for parties). My DD's (who is 6 nearly 7) came home recently saying her friend had told her 'eat fat and you will get fat.'. This friend is 6. This worries me, with my background. However today I found out this girl's mum is a regular at WeightWatchers (this mum as far as I know/remember - I'm not close friends with her) has never been overweight, however she often comments on my weight - and that's maybe why I've noticed.
I'm digressing but when I hear mums telling their kids they are 'on a diet' it just worries me. AIBU?

YANBU

Yeah, ok you're right in theory, but it's very hard to completely hide the fact you are watching what you are eating from dc.

Yes this is a bugbear of mine. I have 2DD and I already worry about how body image is such a huge part of everyday life now, especially for women. We try to eat healthy, balanced diets and they know that snacks are not always chocolate/sweets (although is occasionally, everything in moderation!). They see me play sport and go off for a swim etc. It really annoys me when my tiny MIL goes on about her diet, how she’s skipping lunch today as she had a ‘huge dinner last night’, how she can’t possibly eat a chocolate on Christmas Day because it will go straight to her thighs. My eldest isn’t even 5 yet! I don’t want her picking that up!!

I do because I'm four stone overweight. I'm not a good role model at all. I want them to know that how I was eating isn't healthy and they shouldn't copy. Also they are old enough to notice I'm eating different food to them. I'm doing the blood sugar diet. It's 800 calories a day. I think addressing my over eating with them will warn them about recognising their emotions and addressing them rather than stuffing your face with biscuits to stop feeling them.

I grew up like you seeing a mum on a constant diet nimble bread, chocolate laxatives then latterly slim fast around the house hindsight she has an ED and it wasn't a "diet"t" I have a good ood relationship whichhopefully passed to my dds, however I had friends and relatives telling their own children they would get fat if they ate x y z Yanbu at all it is very concerning we are our childrens first rolemodels before they see magazines media etc it can be set very young.

Definitely nbu!

I don’t think being aware of what you eat is a bad thing. But to be fair someone who needs to go down the weight watchers or slimming world route often doesn’t understand about calories or nutrition. I am on calorie restriction but the kids around me never know because I weigh out my recipies, create portions for myself, and am eating the same thing as everyone else but usually with more veg or water instead of juice.

mrsBeverleyGoldberg but in your case you are addressing emotional issues too, which will your DDs.

DH and I are doing slimming world, the DC don’t need to know this. Why would they? They are small though so wouldn’t understand.

We eat the same meals, I just add non slimming world things for them.

It’s not hard to hide it from them as we eat normally, and I don’t have a house full of crap food.

I'm on a diet - my kids (DD15/17)are bloody delighted.

I had a heart attack - it has made us ALL think about the good and bad things in our diet.

they don't want me to die - hence letting them know I'm on a diet and trying to do something about it.

It is not as simple as "body image" sometimes.

My mum was constantly on the slim fast, and although she's overweight now, she didn't need it then. She'd idolise thin celebrities. I remember her telling me Kylie Minougue was like a doll as she was so tiny. And while I was a very normal-sized young girl my mum constantly used to compare me to my cousin who was 'delicate' and wore clothes in the age range down.

I was anorexic from about the age of 12 (not that she noticed, and I didn't even know what it was, but I remember hardly eating anything, under the guise of being vegetarian) my mum would say to everything it was 'just my physique'.

When I was 17 and had filled out a bit she was very surprised I was a size 10 and not an 8 and went on about how we could diet together she went on the Atkins then and went in and on about it, books and recipes everywhere,comments about celebrities who looked amazing on it.

I got full blown anorexia at 24 and she claims she has no idea where it might have come from

She's still on a diet now, claiming she can't eat gluten, she can talk about it till the cows come home.

I had 8 stone to lose and whilst i dislike the term 'diet' my children were fully aware that in order to do so I had to change my eating habits.

Yanbu

Better to just make permanent changes although I appreciate this is very difficult!!

My mum does this, tells my young daughters (4&2) all about slim-fast and skipping meals and i have to work really hard to counteract it with positive messages about food, and balanced diet.

The irony is that everyone in my household eats 3 nutritious meals a day and maintains a healthy weight, and my mum is always overweight to some degree, no matter how much slim-fast she drinks.

I think there's a difference between letting your kids know you're trying to eat healthy, and "dieting" and constantly criticizing your own weight or others weight. I don't see a problem with kids seeing or hearing that their parents are focusing on healthy eating, but constant criticism or negativity about weight and appearance isn't a good thing.

I think it is important to keep the focus on 'eating healthily' rather than 'dieting' - both for you, and for the children.

YANBU. My weight crept into the overweight category last year, so I went to a slimming club. My kids had no idea because I purposely never mentioned it in front of them. When anyone commented on my weight in front of them, I'd give a very minimal response - saving any discussion of it til they were out of earshot.

They understand that we all need to eat healthful food with some treats, but we don't talk about weight or body image directly. I actually focus an awful lot more on dental and bone health, reminding them that we only get one body and we need to take care of it, and I seem to particularly the effect of a bad diet and habits on teeth because mine are shocking.

Now that I think about it, I'm probably going to give them a complex about their teeth - must keep an eye on that.

Now that I think about it, I'm probably going to give them a complex about their teeth - must keep an eye on that.

My mother gave me a complex about my body and a complex about my teeth. So now I'm obese with excellent teeth.

I talk about a healthy diet with my daughter, who is 8, as she has been coming out with comments, such as 'I'm fat.' She gets this from Youtube. Other family members go on about their weight too in front of her, which annoys me.
I explain to her that people need protein, healthy fats etc and exercise to maintain a healthy weight and be fit. She understands that if we eat too many unhealthy foods we increase our risk of heart attacks/disease and diabetes.

YADNBU

My MIL has been ‘on a diet’ for at the very least 30 years and loves the drama of it. She’s constantly saying ‘can’t eat this, it’ll make me fat’, ‘I cook it this way because of my diet’ and constantly talks about her dress size and how much weight she needs to lose. Her DH joins in with it all too and is always telling her what she ‘can and cant’ eat. I hate it when they do it in front of my young DD. It gives such an awful impression of healthy eating and having a good body image. To be honest, I’m getting close to asking her to stop talking this way in front of her as she’s starting to notice these things more and more.

I think calling it healthy eating and explaining that children and adults might need different things is fine.