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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so shocked...

75 replies

Firework1 · 10/01/2018 17:20

First post so here goes....At school pick up today, DS2 in Yr2, one of the other mums who I’ve known for a few years has a DD who started pre-school on Monday. This is the pre-school our DS’s attended and is rated outstanding. She was complaining that there is now a man in his 50’s working there this term and she feels really uncomfortable about it. I was so shocked I didn’t really say anything although one of the other mums mentioned how we expect equal pay, equal rights etc but can still complain about this sort of thing. The mum in question did say she was aware she belonged in the 1950’s but she was going to complain regardless. I’m just sick to my stomach that somebody could still think like this. I’m also cross I didn’t say anything and just walked away!

OP posts:
Jassylaunderette · 10/01/2018 17:59

We all adored our male primary teacher, allthefeathers. He was really great, he was well known for reading a particular set of stories to all his classes.

EsmeeMerlin · 10/01/2018 18:01

My ds has a male nursery teacher and he is great. All the kids really love their teacher and it's nice to see more men working in schools.

Would love to see the staff's faces when this woman complains.

WaxOnFeckOff · 10/01/2018 18:02

When my DH was doing nurse training over 20 years ago he had to go to a nursery to do his child placement as there weren't enough available placements in children's wards. Anyway he ended up feeling really uncomfortable as parents had complained that there was a man there and he wasn't allowed to take them to the toilet or change the babies etc even in a group with other adults. He ended up just being a giant playmate but again felt that he was under suspicion if the children wanted to sit on his knee or hold his hand. It's really sad.

happiestcamper · 10/01/2018 18:05

I did a course recently and discussed the benefits of male teachers / TA's in primary school settings. It is really important to have men in those job roles as unfortunately they may be the only male role model some children have. We only have 2 male members of staff at school but they are fabulous at what they do

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 10/01/2018 18:06

Aaaaaggggggggrrrrhhhhhhhhh! Stupid bloody women!

SleepingStandingUp · 10/01/2018 18:07

Two of DS's hospital doctors were men. One in 40's, one in 20's. They had both had parents request they didn't do personal cares etc and not just where there might be a cultural issue

StillMedusa · 10/01/2018 18:16

It makes me sad to see such attitudes.
My DS1 (24) is Teaching Assistant in Special school (where I work also) and is one of a grand total of 3 men there.. two TAs and one teacher. He is fab at his job (as are the others) and the children really respond to having male role models. His favourite age group are the little ones because they are so much fun to be with . In his role he has to do personal care as many of our pupils are incontinent and he would be gutted to think that some parents might look upon him as 'dodgy' for wanting to work with kids!

Luckily he hasn't experienced that attitude yet!

Hope the parent's complaint is treated as it deserves!

Turquoise123 · 10/01/2018 18:16

Am I really reading this ?

ModreB · 10/01/2018 18:21

DS2 had the most brilliant teacher in Y3, who built his confidence so much.

BTW, DH is a very hands on, involved and loving parent, DS2 just had some issues that needed to be resolved at school that couldn't be sorted by DH, or me, or even DS2. DS2 blossomed after this year at school, and is now a professional success.

Mr Green, I salute you for seeing the potential in DS2 and rescuing him. DS2, at 25yo still remembers you as the best teacher he ever had.

EraArils · 10/01/2018 18:22

This makes me really sad because my DH is currently re-training as a primary school teacher, he's in his 40's.

Tistheseason17 · 10/01/2018 18:29

oh, my days.....

demirose87 · 10/01/2018 18:29

My DD's nursery teacher is a man and he is so lovely and a great teacher and been there for over 25 years, since I went there. My daughter absolutely loves going to school and talks about him constantly. It is shocking that some people have these views.

Bluelady · 10/01/2018 18:31

I had male primary school teachers in the early 60s. This woman is batshit.

Gilead · 10/01/2018 18:38

Gee Whizz how ridiculous!
Dd1's boyfriend is currently doing his PGCE (primary) he loves it and will be an amazing teacher. What a shame some prat at some point will complain about him for no other reason than he's male. Hmm

Llangollen · 10/01/2018 18:40

I disagree with the woman but I’m just sick to my stomach that somebody could still think like this. really? Hmm

My kids all had male teachers at one point or another, and they have all been fabulous. I do feel sorry for them sometimes, it must be so much harder to avoid suspicion (to say the least) from harpies.

Unfortunately, we all know women who complain if they have a male GP, a male nurse, who believe a male midwife is unnatural and unacceptable. Equality my ass.

That woman is dumb anyway, there used to be more male teachers than female in the past anyway. Education was pushed for boys, not girls, and their teachers were certainly not female!

user1472334322 · 10/01/2018 18:42

There is an older man at DS2's preschool. He was there when DS1 was there too. He's great with the kids and both my boys talk about him all the time. He taught DS1 how to work out left from right and other things too. He's an ex policeman, so is he not allowed to be in a setting with kids??

I work in a school and there is a male head as well as a teacher and two student teachers have just done their placements there.

That woman has no idea what she's talking about. From experience, it's fantastic having men in schools as it dilutes all the female hormonal rubbish!!

SparklingSnowdrops · 10/01/2018 18:43

DD's teacher is a male and he's, quite frankly, the best teacher she's had yet (Y4). She absolutely loves going to school and is full of stories every single day.

Bumsnetnetbums · 10/01/2018 18:43

Id feel a bit weird tbh.
Uncomfortable. Not entirely sure why.
Would also dislike a male midwife.
Perhaps i should examine my gender role views.
Re doctors above.
Drs dont do 'care'. They examine.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 10/01/2018 18:49

I can't believe someone would complain about that, as long as someone is competent and good at their job it shouldn't matter what gender they are.

at dds school they have a male and a female teacher in every year. Dd1 has had a male for last 3 years. one was fantastic, one seemed to not have a clue what he was doing and the current one appears to not give a shit. this experience has made me wish Dd had a female this year as she and several of her peers could have benefited from the more nurturing side of a female teacher especially as she's a bit emotional and sensitive at present. while its great they have a large amount of males I feel they should have alternated a bit.

TrashPanda · 10/01/2018 18:56

One of my favourite teachers at primary school was a man, he was fab. He used to read Beaver Towers to the whole class and make bits up.

Original poster
Firework1 · 10/01/2018 18:59

I’m so glad it isn’t just me! DS1 had a male (newly qualified) teacher in Yr4 and he was outstanding, DS1 is ‘spirited’ and I know will remember Mr H for the rest of his life, he had such a positive impact on his education.

DH is an outstanding dad but the impact a male teacher had on his learning can’t be put into words! I think she may feel this way because it’s Early Years education, I can’t see she would have the same views in Primary, not sure why this is different?!

OP posts:
grannytomine · 10/01/2018 18:59

Men can be nurturing.

Goldenbug · 10/01/2018 18:59

...this experience has made me wish Dd had a female this year as she and several of her peers could have benefited from the more nurturing side of a female teacher

Would a more nurturing male teacher have been acceptable to you nocuts?

DeadButDelicious · 10/01/2018 19:03

All of my favourite teachers have been men.

I can't believe she's going to complain. I sincerely hope she's given short shrift. She's being absolutely ridiculous.

liquidrevolution · 10/01/2018 19:03

We have a lovely Italian chap at DDs nursery. He looks about 50ish. He is ace and very good about encouraging to eat and sharing his love of food with picky eaters. I wish there were more men there tbh.