To think you ASK if you can drop round, not TELL

[User2837]

Text from MIL - "going to try and pop round at 6 tonight after work".

Oh is that right now?

I've replied letting her know how busy we are and she just blanks me. Something she does when she isn't happy with the reply she gets.

How can I let her know to ask in future and let us know in advance (we usually have things planned on the day)?? I don't want to start an argument or end up sounding like a twat, but we have a baby and a little notice and ASKING would do us all a favour

our family - and friends (and now our kids friends) treat ours like an open house

Would not stop anyone "popping round" - but would let them know if we were going to be out, going out, or if it had to be a quick visit.

So, if you are busy just tell her.
If you are making an excuse because you don't like visitors, maybe say so. Because sure as hell she will think it is because you do not like HER.
If you ARE making an excuse because you don't like her personally, then perhaps it is best to work things out between you.

Imo the people in my life that text to say they are popping round are the ones that I'm most comfortable with.

I don't really have a problem with family popping in especially if I get advance warning.

You have told her you are busy so if she still turns up make her useful! If you have young kids, get her to do bath time and bedtime story! Or get her on sandwich making duty or helping with homework!

I don't even get a text! But doesn't bother me at all. I love to see her at the door.

Popping around at 6pm sounds not only annoying in itself, but also a CF assumption that you'll probably give her some dinner.

Oh I’ve currently a sulking in law as he tried inviting himself to hospital for a visit less than 24 hours after major surgery whilst I was still half dressed and drains coming out of me, spaced out, in pain and crying on and off. Told DP he’d be with us in an hour and haven’t heard from him since after shouting out ‘I’m not up for it’.

Just be assertive with them, don’t back down and they’ll get the message eventually