To think my future mother in law hates me

[Wiley14]

Bit of context-my fiancé is of Indian heritage (grandparents from Punjab) and his family are Sikh (although he doesn’t practice). I’m from Northern Ireland so understandably came as a shock to his parents as a mixed race relationship was not what they were expecting and were reluctant to accept it intially. However over past 18 months or so I’d thought we had made progress.
Until the other day...my fiancé and I were watching tv on his iPad-he gets up to make some coffee and a message from his mum pops up on the screen (iPad is linked with his iphone) and it mentioned my partners “love planet was afflicted” meaning he was settling for someone who wasn’t good enough for him and the only good thing predicted to come out of the relationship was pregnancy?!?
I know nothing about astrology and have a lot still to learn about Indian culture ( I am trying) but does anyone know what love planets are? I’m at a loss...I thought she and I had started to form a relationship and feel heartbroken that it wasn’t-espexially since my close family all live in Ireland and I’m in England.
I also don’t know what to say to my fiancé as he and his parents have had so many arguments initially about our relationship-I don’t want to rock the boat again.

It's not rocking the boat to ask him directly "what does your Mum mean by that message?". It's not rocking the boat to expect him to stand up for you to his parents and tell his Mum that she needs to stop sending messages denigrating his relationship with you.

Just ignore her. You dont have to be BFF with your MiL, just civil once or twice a year

Was the ‘love planets’ bit the only quote from them or did they add the meaning and bit about pregnancy?

I think you should tell your partner you saw the message and I would probably speak directly to your future in laws too. You can be assertive without being confrontational. Perhaps today that you saw the message and found it hurtful. You’d like a good relationship but if they continue to say that you’re not good enough that won’t be possible.

Work out with your DP what your boundaries are and how to enforce them together.

My advice, from someone in a similar situation, is to lower your expectations, keep contact brief and positive, keep your guard up and your game face on, and act assured of your position in the relationship and of your partners affection at all times. The scales will fall from your partners eyes faster if your behaviour is always grown up. I would try to minimise / have a giggle with him at astrology messages etc.

Time will probably improve things but I have very low expectations of my MIL so anything is a bonus really.

I think he’s far enough along the road that his ultimate loyalties are to you now!

Sorry but you need to rock the boat - and do it now.

Foot down. Hard enough to hopefully sort this once and for all. Before marriage, before babies.

Fuck 'love planets' nonsense, which means precisely nothing.

This is about respect.

Tell your fiance that he needs to be very clear with his parents that they have two choices. They either respect him as an adult, who they love and wish to support, and as part of that they respect his choice of partner and have confidence that he has chosen someone who will make him happy and who he is suited to.

Or, they fail to do that, and they make it clear that they don't respect his choice and therefore don't respect him and they carry on sending him shit like this. What will happen then is that you will reject them, as you have every right to do. You will NOT agree to interact with people in your own home who do not respect you and cause trouble in your relationship. They will not be welcome in your home and they will not get to form a close relationship with YOUR children. They need to be clear - you are not a subordinate person coming into 'their' family. What is happening is that their son is moving forward into creating his OWN family... and whether they are part of that depends on how they act. If they are hostile, they will not be a part of that family.

Best to get this 100% clear before any wedding takes place, because unless he is also clear that this is how he sees the future, you will have problems.

The Love Planet being afflicted means that it is incompatible with those around it, or in a unsuitable house.

Now, it is an astrological position and it applies on dates and days throughout the year, so she may have picked her moment to get away with it.

I agree with speaking about it and lowering your expectations, she may always feel disappointment that he is marrying outside her Culture because but does change her expected experience of having a DIL and GC.

Agree with Fizzy completely