to wonder when money and stuff became so important?

[unicornfarts]

Perhaps I'm being nostalgic/ deluding myself, but I thought there was a time when it was normal to be respected/ feel valued by your community as long as you contributed something of use to your fellow man. Now it seems that (especially) if you're doing a low skilled job, no matter how useful it is, you're somehow 'worth' less and get treated badly just because you're not highly paid, or maybe you don't have a sparkly new car/ trendy clothes. Why have we all become so materialistic? Maybe IABU and just need to move in different circles? Hoping for cheering replies that there are less 'grabby' and entitled communities out there!

What part of that, is 'being daft' exactly?

I think because you were wrong, as the previous poster explained to you.

I watched a programme a few years back about this and it started in the 70s when credit became more available and people started doing a lot of diy at home to make their homes "fashionable " and it was also the rise in the cheap holiday abroad to Spain etc.

In the 80s it carried on but people blaming Margaret Thatcher for it are misled because consumerism was on the rise before she became pm.

so before the 70's everyone was valued and happy and everything was great?

I don't think so.

Erm no.

She discussed subsistence farming and child mortality.

Look, I'm not saying that there was a time when life wasn't shit if you were poor/ without resources. But weren't there little niceties and assistances that we offered each other that made the crappiness a little more bearable down here in the lower echelons. And I'm not saying it's completely disappeared - of course there are good people who are kind to others with no prejudice. It just seems less common. As pp's have pointed out, in terms of personal wealth, health and resource as a society it's prob better than it's ever been. So why can't more of us afford to be a little kinder to each other?

Every generation talks about a lost golden age of something or other.

Society has become competitive

Keeping up with the Jones’s mentality. That fueled the need for people to buy pointless crap.

I'm blaming the celebrity culture. You are lorded if you've been on the telly, no matter in what context. Never been on telly? Then nobody cares.

Put this way:

What is healthier? A life of hard labour on a farm in the country or a life of hard labour in a factory in a heavily polluted town?

Anyway, it was then that modern consumerism kicked off. Purely because you had to actually buy, everything. As opposed to growing, brewing or weaving or building it yourself.

I do know that when my mother, who is 91 talks about her childhood and early adult years there is not much about who had what involved. They were quite poor but her father (a farrier) and his brother all had trades, they all had a house to live in and seemed to be happy with simple pleasures. I'm sure there were enormous ups and downs that she doesn't talk about and may have forgotten but until recently, when they started to die off, she still had a large circle of old friends from her school and work days.
In contrast although I have a fair few old friends I keep in touch with there is always, with some of them the agenda of what they have and the expensive things they are doing. Yes, I think a lot of it is down to the 80's but maybe the 60's when people were told they had never had it too good laid the foundation for this.

When I was growing up things like foreign holidays, meals out and designer clothes were luxuries. But nowadays they seem to be necessities to a lot of people, and something they are prepared to get into debt for.
Things were also made to last because people didn't have the money to constantly replace household gadgets and devices. Nowadays you've hardly bought something and it's been replaced by a newer, better version which everyone has to have.
I know there was never this golden era where everyone was happy and had sound values. But I do think we've become depressingly materialistic in the last twenty years or so. People constantly upgrading their phones and tablets, teenagers being bought designer clothes and make up, houses being completely done up every couple of years and so on.
Every event also has to be celebrated in increasingly expensive and OTT ways.

Another big change is the way young couples who have just bought a house want all new furniture, gardens landscaped and kitchens extended before they even move in. There's no such thing anymore as making do with second hand stuff donated by parents, or garden chairs in the kitchen until you can afford something better.

Some people are up to their necks in debt because they won't make do or do without anymore.

I soon lost my materialism when having to clear my mother's house. Eight decades of things. You can't take it with you, and it took three months to empty her flat.

The one thing I really don't understand is Christmas and people going into debt. I'm not really a Kirsty Allsopp type, but if you have no money, why not make people brownies or something. If they love you and know money is tight, they would probably prefer if you did not spend on them.

I think it started in 80s and then got worse

Now with social media everyone can post a carefully selected portion of their life to show everyone’s how “well”they are doing - we are well off (by most standards) and even I feel poor most days looking at social media / newspapers / tv etc.

It doesn’t help that everyone seems to want to be “famous” as though that is the only thing that matters

Meta the question was; when did money and stuff become so important? Nothing about being valued and everything being great.

I was talking about consumerism as we know it today. It started to come about in the 70s when people started spending more money on "stuff" for their houses for "fashion" items and decor. The rise of the cheap holidays in Spain etc.

Before then most people made their homes presentable but it didn't matter if they didn't have the latest colour wallpaper/carpets or a holiday in Spain because the majority of people simply couldn't afford it.

A lot of ppl seem to be obsessed with work, always wanting more money, a higher up job etc. It's like you get judged if you're just happy where you are and don't want to spend all your time working (and are happy to spend less to compensate). Like you're not 'ambitious' enough IYKWIM.

At Christmas it was cringeworthy watching my step ds open presents on Boxing Day. He had no doubt been given mountains of presents by his mum and her family the day before. Boxing Day was round 2 of piles of presents because dp's parents had bought him loads as well as his uncle and my dp. The boy is on 7 ffs! He was just opening them, tossing them aside instantly to open another one without taking any real notice of what he was opening. Then the day after he was taken out to spend his gift cards on more stuff.

It's like when ppl redorate their houses every 2 years or something or buy all new Christmas ornaments every year, that just seems a waste of money (and stuff) to me but I guess each to their own. Then again they probably think my place is a pit as everything is old and mismatched but I don't mind it.

Was talking to someone in RL about Xmas the other day and they said they spent over 300 quid on each child, is that normal now? That seems a lot to me (bearing in mind that this person, like me is not on a high wage). My parents were reasonably well off and I remember getting books, a couple of CDs and maybe a jumper from them at Christmasses; that kind of level and this was only 15 or so yrs ago (and that was with step-parents as well so 4 adults). But then I don't have kids so maybe this is totally normal and I'm way out of date (probably!) I mean obviously that much is not a lot to some ppl but to ppl on average wages it's a lot surely.

And yes I realise I sound a bit '4 Yorkshiremen'-ish before anyone says it

I don't think life in general is that much worse, just that ppl seem to spend a lot.

Consumerism was alive and well in the 50’s.
And if history serves me right materialism and excessive spending was a hallmark of the roaring 20’s “the gilded age” of gold and glitter.
Archeologists unearth discarded pottery and household goods all the time, I don’t think people and materialism has changed at all.
From the merchant of Venice, neither a borrower or lender be.

You might be right christmas maybe it's just there's more different things available to us to buy now and it's more on display with social media and so on.

Thatcher. Thatcherism is all about glorifying materialism and individualism. 'There's no such thing as society ... it is our duty to look after ourselves.'

I think it depends on your social circle.

None of my friends particularly care about having expensive possessions, which is one of the things I like about them!

I have actually cut a couple of people from my life when I realized that their only topic of conversation was 'Look at my new phone! Look at my new car! Listen to my extremely expensive holiday plans!' I can't be bothered with people like that!

I recently made the decision to resign from
My managerial post and take lower grade part time work because my dd2 was struggling a bit, after school was a nightmare and I just felt they needed me around a bit more.
I miss my job a bit. I'm a lot worse off financially. But I think it was the right decision for my kids right now as after years of working full time and being run ragged, and prioritising badly for my DD's sometimes as a result. I work part time now, still in the same field but with less responsibility. I'm also doing a college course as a first step to slightly retraining. I can pay the bills, and feed us all-so far so good.
What I wasn't prepared for was the utter Judginess or everyone from my exh to my family to some of my friends who have cautiously accused me of being irresponsible, giving up on myself and life, being 'lazy' etc etc.Its made me realise how much cachet is put by people
On what you earn, how busy you are, how well regarded your job is.
Real eye opener for me.

When did people start buying their council properties? The early 80s?

I think a lot of it started then. Neighbours started looking down on neighbours as they didn’t “own” their homes. But yet, lived in exactly the same houses as before.

I think the 80s saw a real thrust of materialism that was building slowly in the 70s.