AIBU to think some teachers are just mean?

[whiskybysidedoor]

Had DC in tears again today.

The team sheet came out for a match coming up. Same kids same positions.

Team lost spectacularly in last 2 matches. Teacher wont budge on letting any of the other kids have a go in the most wanted positions.

The other kids just want to try and have a go rather than be routinely dismissed. Gradually their confidence is being shot to pieces.

Seriously AIBU to think that some teachers are just mean or is there any logic I'm missing here?

Well some people are pretty mean and teachers are people so some probably are mean.
I doubt it's the motivation here though. More like they want to give kids a chance to work together as a team and improve. No doubt if they dropped players after a couple of bad games that would be mean as well.
Hard on the kids who are left out but if they keep trying they'll get their turn. Or maybe look into joining a club outside of school?

Maybe the teacher doesn't want the kids who've lost the last two matches to feel like they've been kicked out of the team for failing?

X-post Corbyn

Yes I do agree that some teachers are mean, like other posters say as are some people. It's horrible to be on the receiving end, I have have had it as a young child and have witnessed it with my DCs too. Not so much DS2 who is autistic and has ADHD, seems to be the opposite with him but with DS1 who is very clever but also quiet and well behaved with it. I remember 1 teacher who seemed to just dislike him and just came across as mean, she was like it to him and about him. At one parents evening I said I just don't understand, he's always been so well behaved and done so well at school so we obviously need to do some work with him at home, she looked shocked and said no he's been doing brilliantly, no trouble ever and way above where he needs to be academically. Absolutely baffling but she genuinely was awful to him. Every now and then he gets a teacher like that (more so infant and juniors) but in seniors because he's a hard worker it is the opposite now, I guess in seniors it's always a relief to have an easy kid.

In the situation with sports teams it is very tricky. It is really hard to tell whether it is down to favouritism or down to ability/attitude. At DSs school mainly the best kids are picked and they still lose most weeks (very small school so not loads to choose from). Choosing less able children would be awful as they would get absolutely hammered, also like other posters have said it would be tough to just drop them. Some times if there are more to choose from in a certain year group the school will have the core children then rotate a few of the others each week.

However I do think there is an element of the general sporty kids being picked for every team regardless of whether they are good at that particular sport or not.

Even outside of school this happens, I run a sports team and to avoid issues with have an A and a B team however if we are short in either team I don't necessarily pick the next best person, it may be that I need to choose someone who can handle mentally moving up a team without being upset they aren't quite as good or won't be such a key player, someone who will respond quickly or someone who has helped out loads around that time. It's not always black and white but I believe I always ensure I am fair. Disclaimer - it is a more technical sport than football with safety more of an issue.

I’m sorry your daughter is upset, but I think it’s a mistake to put too much emphasis on sport at school. Why do not you encourage your daughter to join a team outside of school, as teams that are n’t connected with schools are better run, the standard of play is higher and taught by specialists not jack of all trade pe teachers.

How lovely to see everyone immediately deciding to train for coaching qualifications so that they could volunteer and share their genuine expertise to help instead of just grumbling that the mean teachers always get it wrong. Oh ... wait ...

BringOnTheScience

Also interesting to see how many are offering their free time to go to these matches and to the various training sessions to help the teacher.

Yeah I bet the school pe teacher would love all the parents to go and help! Or not...
You don’t have to train to be a pe teacher in order to complain when justified. Just the same as I don’t need to be a trained doctor to complain about my care or a builder to complain about a shoddy job.
I do think it may be unjustified in this case though.

Yes very bizarre comments, I don't know any PE teacher who would appreciate parents helping out with their sports training sessions or matches!

I think a lot of comments on here have been fairly supportive of teachers but surely if you are unhappy with an aspect of your child's schooling whatever it is you are within your rights to ask the school about it, no need to go in all guns blazing but most people would want to know.

Of course if you have a query about how the team is picked you could politely address it to the relevant teacher.

And of course all children should have the opportunity to play sport at school. That’s not quite the same thing as being on the school team. If your school year has 60 children in it and they play five a side then that’s only participating every 12 weeks.

They wouldn’t learn anything from that. They wouldn’t learn teamworking skills or how to suppprt each other, they certainly wouldn’t learn anything about football.

Perhaps suppprt your son to set up an informal lunchtime league with the other kids. It wouldn’t require any adult supervision if they all play playground football anyway.

My son wanted to be in after school rugby club. We had to buy proper kit before they would let him try out. We did buy everything and he was never picked for a game (he wasn't very good, but he wasn't going to improve if he wasn't given the chance). I asked why he was never picked and the teacher told me they were in it for the trophies. My poor son was devastated so I pulled him out and he started doing judo instead. Teacher was a twat and was wrong to teach kids that winning is all that counts

Maybe the teacher doesn't want the kids who've lost the last two matches to feel like they've been kicked out of the team for failing?

Yes this. Some people are very quick to go down the "teachers are mean" route without considering other factors.

You can hear it now, "My DC was kicked off the sports team after only two matches and wasn't given a chance to improve. AIBU to think that the teacher is mean and only cares about winning?"