to ask you to tell me why it's good being single :(

[Sullabylullaby]

Lonely and hurt, and swirling thoughts/memories/anger/love/resentment/loss/sadness/trying to think positively ain't doing much for me.

It's shit isn't it.

Better than being in a crap relationship.

OK I'll gibe this a go as I'm trying to convince myself too...

You are in complete control of your own time. You'll never have to feel guilty for hogging the remote or eating the last slice of pizza. You'll never have to feel anxious and paranoid if he's on his phone all the time. You don't have to shave if you don't want to.

Because you don't have to listen to someone fart in their sleep.

On a more serious note, I'm sorry you're feeling that way . Forcing yourself to think positive can backfire, I know from experience I started feeling like I was failing at it or something . So when I felt hurt/low, I either went to bed to sleep it off, or called a friend and vented.

Oh sweetie hope you feel better soon.

It will take a while before you see any positive. Have you got friends you can organise things with so you keep a bit busy?

Ah sorry you’re so down OP.

I’ve been single for a very long time and I think I’ve got it down to a fine art. I really appreciate it tbh.

You’ve no-one to answer to. You want to go out? Go. you want a curry? Have one. You want to go on holiday with your friends? Get it booked. You’ve no-one to consult or check in with.

Bed, remote, sofa, bathroom, kitchen, washing machine all to yourself. All the time, whenever you feel like using them. They’re yours.

Money/bills/spending- all your decisions. Want to splurge? Yep. Want to scrimp? Yep. Go for it. Also you can work loads and no-one is sitting at home moping because you’re building a career/ earning a fortune.

You can have sex with different people with no strings, no commitment, no pressure to see them again, enjoy new sex, have new experiences, date new people etc.

See your friends more, go out, have them round, have a party, get new friends, have new hobbies.

Get a pet an ex wouldn’t want. (This was a real highlight of my break up with my ex!)

Eat what you want when you want
Watch what you want when you want
Go to bed at 8pm and read for hours if you want
There's no one to embarrass you by getting drunk and making an arse of himself
There's no one to get pissed of at you when you get drunk and gobby
Stuff stays where you left it
There's way less mess, cooking, cleaning, laundry
You can go where you want when you want without compromise, weekends, nights out, holidays

I fucking love being single!

I can only speak for myself about why I like being single. Everyone has their own reasons. Mine are below;

Able to be myself without a partner disapproving or sulking

Not being known as someone's mother/wife/partner - just being known as Agerbilatemycardigan.

Not having to justify how I spend the money that I earn.

I'm the only moody fucker in my flat

Get a whole bed to myself

Can see my friends when I want

Don't have to sit through boring sports programmes

No putting up with crap from in-laws

Can sit on the sofa in my pants and eat a can of sweetcorn (if I want to)

The only snoring is my own

Only having my own mess to clear up

There are loads more. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm sure get the gist.

I won't lie and tell you it's easy. Yes, it can be tough at times, but I'd rather be alone than stay with someone just to stop me from being lonely.

I don't have to compete for my cats attention with anyone _

newly single here (well, 3.5 months of it)

Pros
Not being shouted at
Talking to who I want
Eating when I want
Doing my housework when I want
Not being abused/called names
Not being given orders
Not being harassed for sex
Not being kept awake by his snoring
Being able to watch the tv I want to watch
Not having to stop what i'm doing because he's demanded my attention.
Not having to wash his 2-day wear underoos
Not having to deal with his stupid temper tantrums

I get the bed to myself
I get the food to myself
I can play on my tablet in bed
chat to my friends online on voice chat if I want.

I can laugh
I can smile

I can breathe.

I don’t have to compromise on things I don’t think are worth compromising on.

I find as time goes on that I relish the freedom to be myself so much. Even if I found somebody amazing, I wouldn’t ever give up my freedoms. I wouldn’t tie myself down or live with anybody ever again, as I just don’t think the trade-off is worth it.

I'm longterm single and I love it. No one to answer to, no one to pester for my attention (well, once DS is in bed), no having to discuss or compromise... and no stress about whether a partner is ever going to pull his weight round the house, or insist on trying to rule the roost.

I bloody love it. Not sure anything would entice me back into a relationship, or at least not into cohabiting. Just some of the perks I would loathe to give up:

Not having to share a bed. BLISS.

Cook what you want, when you want without having to consult with others.

You choose when to turn off the lights and go to sleep without someone else's phone screen glowing in the dark.

Watch what you want on TV.

Silence when you want it, TV when you want it, music when you want it.

I am the boss of me

I'm in a relationship but until two years ago I was perpetually single so I feel qualified to comment. You don't have to share the chocolate. You're not being pushed out of the bed or having your duvet stolen. There is no one to complain about your choice of TV programme or film. You don't have to shave your legs.
Also, I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one who could happily eat a full tin of just sweet corn!

Also, I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one who could happily eat a full tin of just sweet corn!

The Marks and Spencers one in a carton is LUSH. It's always so crisp and sweet.

Being able to wear what I want
Able to watch whatever TV programme or film without someone pulling a face
Able to go out shopping without someone following me or giving me the third degree or whining they are bored
Able to cook what I want without consulting others
Able to have my house decorated in the colours I choose
No sulking
I make my own mess
Not having to wait on someone hand and foot
Like pps I get the bed to myself
Able to just go somewhere for a weekend or on holiday without having to compromise
I am able to take charge of my own life

No snoring or farting
No football on telly (unless of course you like it)
None of his admin to do
No in laws
None of his mates coming round for you to feed/wait on
No impatient driving
No shirts to iron
No nagging about not ironing his shirts
No dirty sports kit/stinky trainers left lying around
No meals to cook
No comparisons with his mother’s cooking

Oh, i could go on....and on....and on

TONS!

you can do what you want, when you want how you want (that includes sex - being single doesn't have to = celibacy)

BUT not harassed for sex when you're not in the mood.

No doing ANY housework/chores/inconvenient favours for another adult

Things stay where I bloody well left them!!

No money debates.

Bed to myself - this inc watching Netflix all night if I want

Not having to watch crappy sports/movies/boring documentaries

No stale "man stink" in my house (ex was clean but loved his sport and was quite sweaty)

No having to share naice treats (dd likes crappy cadburys)

No having to converse when I don't have the energy or inclination (dd not a chatty type)

No having my perfectly valid acceptable choices ridiculed (chick flicks, tv shows, hormonal food choices...)

I know you feel crappy now - it'll be fine - this too shall pass everything does

Yes, I can see all the positives. Needed to be reminded of them. Heading to bed now to read WITH THE LIGHT ON while he doesn't huff and puff about having to get up early.

Taking responsibility for myself is also a slight challenge but I'm getting confidence in having only myself to depend on.

Being single is great!
The only thing I don't like about being single is irritating gobshites at weddings going "What about yooou....? You'll be next!"

It would take an absolutely amazing man to make me want to give it up tbh. It's hard to adjust from relationship to single but it definitely gets easier with time.

Even simple things like having a cough at night-time and not having to worry about disturbing someone else.

I was a single mother in a block of flats where everyone else was married. My neighbours used to openly envy my freedom.

I love being single for all the reasons PPs have stated. The only annoyance is that other people seem to think you’re lying and assume that you must want to find someone. Cue lots of conversations justifying your lifestyle and subverting attempts to get you OLD.

Also, if you look at the thread “childcare equals work?” in AIBU you’ll see another reason to be happy single.

I love being single. Have been for almost 4 years now. Although I have a DS.

I can do what I want when I want. Cook whatever I want for dinner. Decorate the way I want. Go on holiday where I want. Watch what I want on TV.

No arguments over housework or money. Every penny I earn is mine to do what I want with.

Not having to cater to anyone else's emotions (apart from DS!) No jealousy, no moodiness. No having to take his feelings or opinions into account. Not having to spend time with his friends or family.

Honestly the idea of trying to meet someone new, go on awkward dates, play happy step families leaves me cold.

Better to be alone than to be badly accompanied :)