To ask childminders and nursery teachers

[hannah1992]

How the hell do you do it?! How do you get kids to eat things like cucumber sticks and the likes and to sit nicely at a table and eat without throwing food and to sit and sing songs and read a book? What do you do?

My dd is 2 and she goes to a lovely childminders. They’re a group of ladies 2 at the childminders house and then she rubs the before and after school club too. They are all really lovely and brill.

My question is is when I read her diary (which they do on their app every night) it says she had snack like cucumber sticks and ate all and sang songs and read books etc. When I try to give her a cucumber stick she looks at me like from another planet. I try to sing songs with her and she just rubs off to play (maybe I’m a bad singer) and reading books well that’s just a battle of let’s not rip the book to pieces.

Seriously what do you do? Is it because of other children doing it or do you all have super powers? 😂

Super powers, - I'm surprised you question it ?

The only dinners mine will eat at home are plain chicken, sausages, plain pasta and pizza. At the child minder he eats fish cakes, shepherds pie, gammon, lasagne...

I'm fairly sure my CM is some kind of wizard.

Yes, we have super powers. And really good toys and crafts and the best cucumbers 😀

When she stays our granddaughter who loathes lettuce will eat Grandad's lettuce that she goes down into the garden to pick. She loves broccoli, out to lunch once there was a pile of left-over broccoli on a plate on the next table. She commented about it and I jokingly said You can have it, had to stop her from moving over to it.

They defo have magic powers!!!!!! My child’s eating has went to shit since he left crèche 🙄😞☹️

What they write in the diary isn't always true - personal experience of this!

From Brownie holidays I'd day: Peer pressure from seeing other kids trying foods, different approaches from adults, different environments, lack of multiple choice and importantly someone who's giving you a choice and isn't massively invested if you refuse as that's what is on offer.

The power of peer pressure 😂

Vibe I guarantee everything I write in a diary is 100% true. Have no reason to lie to parents because I'm actually good at my job.

Getting them to eat nicely, eat different foods etc is witchcraft, bribery and lots of pleading!!! No really, children respond differently in different settings. I have a 1 year old who naps like a dream when she's with me, munches her way through the fruit bowl and eats anything put in front of her. At home she refuses most food (unless she's told it comes from glens house😳) refuses to nap and considers fruit on a par with arsenic. I don't get it either.

I think it’s expectations. The adults in a nursery/child minder setting have no back history with the child before they start so we expect them to join in and they usually are trying to figure out what to do so do what the others do and then a month down the line it’s normal for them to eat what the others eat and do what they do. Usually there are more adults to encourage them to join in and no pressure to be doing something else like you are at home.

It does fascinated me still how different children act as soon as parents arrive though. They will be putting on their own shoes to go in the garden all day then suddenly become incapable when the parent arrives and parent automatically does it.

That said not all children comply, there are plenty that resist doing what the others do lol.

Herd mentality?

We are amazing.

Or - children behave differently in other settings. I can take 20 3 year olds on a bus to a museum and have a fantastic time yet I can't even get three children down the road to school on a morning without major meltdowns.

I don't know either... I'm a childminder and yes they generally are better behaved for me than their parents and they do eat a bit more adventurously but I've never been able to get kids to eat stuff they wouldn't eat at home. I've had fruit refusers and cucumber refusers and kids who can spot the tiniest bit of veg from a mile off. This despite my own kids being good eaters.

The herd thing definitely works for stories and music though.

Firm boundaries, consistency, routine, other adults for back up/to take over, little emotional involvement.

Truly fussy eaters don't eat any better in settings than at home though - it's usually the ones where it's emotional/battle of wills with parents at home rather than an issue with food itself.

We discovered once DS could speak for himself, that when daycare said he ate two bowls of curry or bolognaise for lunch, he actually ate two bowls of plain rice or plain pasta. I definitely queried them when they said he was eating fish curry, because the kid will not ever eat a saucy meal. They assured me he did eat everything. A little economic with the truth, or more likely, because he was a quiet, independent kid, they never noticed what he was putting into his bowl.

*Vibe I guarantee everything I write in a diary is 100% true. Have no reason to lie to parents because I'm actually good at my job.
*

I'm sure there are plenty of honest childcare workers but I didn't have a good experience. At my DS's nursery we discovered that the diary was filled in with general stuff that would make the parents happy enough and get them to keep paying over the money. You get people like this in all types of jobs and it goes on in some childcare settings too.

Kids will often eat food they see other kids eating
Kids behave better for other people

We have an expectant vibe - we expect you do so as we say, and they do!

Just put out a small selection of food including cucumber sticks and let her help herself with no pressure. Try a book at bedtime when sleepy and less grabby.

Wow glad it’s not just me 🤣. My childminders fab I don’t question them. It probably is because of other kids and a different setting. She eats well at home she will eat fruit and veg with meals but not as a snack.

Hopefully she will grow out of it soon

And the napping! My 16 month old apparently sleeps for over an hour every afternoon on a mat on the floor! (With a blanket). I have tried this at home, at exactly the same time of day, when he refused to go into his cot and he looked at me like I was a crazy lady and ran off.

Is it because the other children are sleeping too? Why don’t they disturb each other?

Kids behave very differently in different settings.

As a Cm I often saw kids switch from biddable sensible and cooperating to noisy bratty rule breakers on the sound of the doorbell signalling a parent pick up.

Kids play their parents up because they know it’s unconditional love. It’s not in a setting and they sense this.

I never lied to parents either but didn’t tell them every battle as it’s never nice to greet parebts with negativity and to ‘report’ on the children in front of them at pick up time.

After being told me daughter has eaten food at nursery she’d never eat at home, I once joked ‘Pic or it never happened’. I’m now regularly shown pictures of eating wonderful stuff such as brocoli and spinach soup. The nursery workers find the look on my face very amusing :-)