To not want to chat

[Myownwinter]

It probably makes me sound very unfriendly.

Was on a train today and I was enjoying the pace and the world going by for a bit.

A woman took the seat opposite mine and tried to engage me in conversation. Where was I going, did I have family there, when was I due ( pregnant) boy or girl, thought of any names yet. I wasn’t rude - I answered questions politely but didn’t ask any of my own.

Another woman then sat next to me and the original woman started a similar conversation with her adding that I “didn’t want to chat.”

It really annoyed me, though I didn’t say anything. Was I being unreasonable?

YANBU! You did "chat", you talked to her and answered her questions. It's not on for her to expect a stranger to amuse her, and the comment to the other woman was rude.

If you're travelling again, wear headphones even if you're not listening to music. Makes people less likely to try to talk to you.

You were not being unreasonable in not wanting to chat but I also don't think she was unreasonable to mention that she picked up on your reluctance.

You can't have it both ways, I'm impressed that she noticed and mad a nice to talk to someone else instead. Lots of people would have persevered and that would have been worse for you. Sounds like it worked out for everyone.

Urgh! Energy zappers.

I can't stand people like this. Small talk is exhausting. And she was being quite nosey, which is rude.

I think I'd have had to move seats.

If people want inane chatter they should walk about with a parrot on their shoulder.

Some people just don't get the hint and leave it alone. I hate talking to strangers. I think it's really rude of people to ask certain questions about pregnancy. I hate "have you thought of any names yet" I usually answer with "a few" then the even ruder question of "well what names" well piss off because I don't want you judging the name choices don't be so bloody nosey. I always wear headphones on public transport (although it doesn't always work)

YANBU. Maybe its going to sound unfriendly but I really resent the presumption of people who can't take a hint.

It's fine to strike up a bit of a chat. But its part of social intelligence to learn to read the cues and pick up when someone doesn't want to participate and gracefully leave them to it.

There are a million reasons why people may not want to chat. You might be feeling sad, or anxious, or preoccupied. You might be feeling ill. You might just be enjoying your own thoughts.

The assumption that someone has the right to break into that and impose their chatter against your will has always struck me as the height of self-centredness.

Sometimes I’m in the mood to chat and have had some lovely conversations with people on trains and planes and the like.

Other times I’m not keen so just politely disengage and say I’m looking forward to reading / sleeping / having some quiet time.

At least she picked up that you didn’t want to chat and moved onto someone else!

Headphones in, stare at phone/iPad. I actually think she was really rude to tell the other person that you didn’t want to chat. If she knew that, why the hell did she keep annoying you and why tell someone you’re not keen?

YANBU!!!!! I have anxiety and making small talk with people I've never met is the absolute worst, I find myself getting tongue tied, don't know what to say and just generally feel awkward. I actually find it exhausting. If I'm on any form of public transport I'll wear headphones or bring uni work with me to do so people will realise I don't want to talk. The hairdresser's is an absolute nightmare for me because I always seem to get the really chatty ones

Yanbu in the least. I stop responding, turn away, look out of the window, if someone keeps on at me - and have even been known to say 'Stop talking to me. I don't want to have a conversation with you.'

I don't give a fuck if they're 'only being friendly.' Or they're lonely. They are not my problem and should leave me alone.

I always wear my headphones, even when I am not listening to anything on my ipod.

I think she was rude to mention your reluctance to chat.

I mean, I always wear them on public transit.