No, EVERYONE isn't ill

[Raggs]

Woke up exhausted from a broken sleep with teething 4mo and a toddler who decided a wake up time of 5.30 is acceptable.

Managed to get it together enough to escape the house take them to playgroup. Cue woman cooing over baby while telling me she has been ill for weeks but you know, EVERYONE has it so no point staying indoors.

I did the smile and nod because I'm too much of a polite wimp to say no actually, everyone doesn't fucking have it so would you be so kind to stay away please.

I'm struggling to see her side so thought aibu would sort me out. Should she have stayed in or should I have stayed in since there does seem to be a lot going about.

MN jury I am at your mercy

Depends on what kind of ill it is. D&V, chickenpox etc you should stay at home. An annoying lingering cold that seems to take a while to shake I wouldn't stay at home for. The other toddlers that yours is playing with are probably full of germs anyway.

It depends what kind of ill she means, a cold? flu? d&v? just feeling a bit off,

It was a chest infection I think so not catching. Although she did say she wonders if it's something else as its not shifting. I'm so tired I genuinely don't know if IABU but at the time I was internally screaming back away from my baby. I may need sleep...

She was BVU to coo over your baby whilst ill. I'd have whipped baby away from her or something obvious. Difference between going out with germs and actually deliberately breathing germs over a baby, ffs.

You are tired you don't want ill children to make you more tired yanbu though any sensible person shouldn't be cooing over a baby if they have the lurgy.

It depends whether it’s someyhing she can pass on or not. I’m unwell at the minute but not with something that can be passed on so I’ve not stayed away from my nieces and nephews. However, if I had something contagious I’d not be touching or breathing over my baby niece. If she could pass something onto your child then she was BVU to be cooing over them.

We've all been ill since the last week in November. While i try to keep my germs to myself i still need to go out of the house and the kids still go to school.

I remember when DS was a baby and the swine flu was going around. We were visiting our local government office and a woman poked her head in his buggy and started cooing over him. I politely asked her to stop and she looked so offended but really people shouldn't coo over random babies when they are sick or in the middle of an epidemic. I'm not a precious mother type but it's just common sense.

But would you stick your neck in a pram and breathe inches away from a newborn mrskoala?

Of course people can't quarantine themselves but just a tiny bit of consideration for babies isn't too much to ask. She mentioned the fact she had doused herself and her gd in antibacterial wipes so maybe my face gave me away after all.

Truly I'm just knackered and think any illness in the family would break me. My recovery has been really tough this time. I've calmed now and can see both sides but I personally don't think I'd approach a baby if I was unwell

If she's been ill for weeks whatever she has will no longer be contagious, most viruses are at there most contagious prior to any symptoms and for a few days after onset of symptoms so you're more likely to catch something from the person who appears well.

I hear you on this. Am so fed up with 15 month old being ill, me being ill - seems to just go on and on and I wish people would just stay away if they have something.

YANBU OP. I’m not saying she should have stopped at home, but if you know you’re ill, give people a bit of space.

I have a surpressed immune system, I go to a club and at this time of the year, yes it seems people are generally iller (is that a word). They still come, but we give each other a wide berth to at least reduce the risk of catching something.

You just need to be sensible about this, and by the sound of it she wasn’t getting that close to baby.

Everyone here seems to be suffering with colds/flu, I don’t know many people who doesn’t seem to have it other than me (have had a slightly runny nose but that’s it), sadly I don’t think it’s always possible for people to stay at home if they have it or to avoid catching it. Just keep washing hands and hope that no one sneezes on you.

This used to really piss me off at playgroups. No one has to be there, it's not like going to work, so people with colds or other potentially infectious illnesses should just fucking stay home and not be selfish and spread it to other people's families.

While I'm here can I also request they stop coughing their lungs up/sneezing in food shops. Order online if you are sick!

Anti bacterial stuff is going to do sweet FA in the face of a virus.

DH and I met up with a family member today (pre-arranged) and another tagged on uninvited. She has the bloody flu! I am so angry as DH is immunocompromised at the moment and they know this as they have wanted to know every bloody twist and turn of his illness. Bastards!

No. you poor sleepless lass. YANBU.
I got sick of people slobbering their germs over my newborn, culminating in my boss at the time, on a visit to work, taking the child's dummy, sucking it and sticking it back in the baby's mouth before I could stop im!!! and then the rest of the group telling me not to make so much of a fuss because its really good for babies to get used to germs. Luckily he didn't have cold sores!!! Morons.

And looking back there's many times I wish I'd told people to keep their bloomin germs to themselves. I'd certainly do it that with Mrs Everyone Has it. A similar mother invited us to her house, watched my DC putting her daughter's toys in mouth before casually remarking that her child had impetigo, which my DC promptly caught and it spoiled their beauty for at least six months and was very uncomfortable for them.
People should back off little un's, they dont exist for their entertainment Hope you get some shut eye tonight.

No, i wouldn't. I know how you feel. Once we agreed to meet up with some of DS1friends and DD was a baby. When we got there one of them clearly had chicken pox. I said 'does x have CP' in an incredulous way and the mum giggled and said 'yeah but we were going stir crazy' I spluttered something about not wanting DD to get it as it was one week before our holiday and left with DD. I was probably a bit rude and everyone looked on quite shocked and the person clearly looked uncomfortable. DH stayed with DS1 and when he came in he said how embarrassed he was by my abrupt leaving.

But it wouldn't be him up all night with her and i was already sleep deprived enough. I also didn't want our holiday ruined. It's okay because it was ruined anyway by catching D&V from soft play!

We also saw a friend of DS1 at soft play another time and they were riddled with nits. The mum just laughed. My baby had really thick long hair, so if she got them at weeks old (from my DS1 and 2 who were playing with the friend) then that would have been fucking horrible.

I think there is an idea that all kids get these things so what's the harm. But they can come at times when it is more than just inconvenient, it can be painful, dangerous and ruin events you have saved for.