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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to re-register DC

98 replies

Liskee · 09/01/2018 12:51

DH and I got married a year after DS2 was born. On both DC birth certificates are DHs name, and my maiden name. I changed my name when we got married (my choice, very happy to do so, this thread is NOT ABOUT name changing).

MIL is now suggesting though that we re-register DC births so that BCs show my married name. I dont think it's necessary to do so. DC were conceived and born to two loving parents in a relationship who have since married. We're not embarrassed by our non-married state when we had the DC and we're delighted they were both able to be at our wedding. However MIl is saying that if I'm happy to have all of us with same name now, then it should be on BCs too.

AIBU? (I know I'm not - just want to know other peoples experiences/thoughts really).

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 09/01/2018 13:20

Unless you have a hereditary title to pass down to your children, it makes no difference now

And even if her concern is kindly meant, it's none of MIL's business what is on your DC's birth certificates (it might be that she doesn't realise that the law has changed re legitimate / illegitimate children?)

NoCureForLove · 09/01/2018 13:23

The child born before marriage to parents who subsequently marry is not 'illegitimate'.

meditrina · 09/01/2018 13:24

It's the Births and Deaths Registration Act 1953 which requires re-registration.

That is unconnected to legitimacy, as per the 1987 Act.

prh47bridge · 09/01/2018 13:24

Should you have more children after you are married, they will be considered higher priority in the event of any dispute in the event of your deaths

That is not true, nor is some of the other information on this thread.

The act of marrying automatically means the child is legitimate regardless of whether or not the birth is re-registered. In any case, illegitimate children have the same claim on the deceased's estate as legitimate children. Legitimacy only matters for things like inheriting a peerage. Unless you are part of the aristocracy it makes no difference to anything whether or not a child is legitimate.

However, as stated by a previous poster, you are legally required to re-register the child's birth following marriage, but the fine for failing to do so is only £2.

endofthelinefinally · 09/01/2018 13:26

The travelling thing is true.
You should have a standard letter and copies of birth and marriage certificates kept with the passports.
We did this for years because we frequently took nieces and nephews on holiday.
Strangely enough we were usually only asked for the documents when returning to the UK, not when leaving. We have always been asked to produce the permission letter.
It is easy to just put the documents in your travel folder.

newdocket · 09/01/2018 13:27

I was advised to re-register my oldest dc, who was born before I was married so that he would have the same legal rights as my other dc, in the event of our deaths.

ArcheryAnnie · 09/01/2018 13:28

Your MIL is being ridiculous.

Anyway, I don't think BCs should be allowed to be amended for any reason. They record the situation as it was when the child was born, which is as it should be. No amount of subsequent tinkering changes that.

And nobody cares (apart from your MIL, apparently) about "illegitimacy".

endofthelinefinally · 09/01/2018 13:30

You only need the documents I mentioned if a lone adult is travelling with children with a different surname, as on the passports.
If all the passport surnames match it is not an issue.

wendz86 · 09/01/2018 13:30

I thought it was a legal requirement, I was asked to do it when i got married.

grannytomine · 09/01/2018 13:31

I don't think it is any of your MILs business. Generally I don't think it matters now but it applies to one of my GC who has some issues and has taken to referring to themselves as a bastard and seems to be using it as something he can use to hurt himself and/or his parents. I hate hearing him say it.

GiraffesAreNotShort · 09/01/2018 13:31

And this travelling stuff I've only ever seen on MN

Actually happened to my friend. She and her friend took their respective children abroad somewhere in Europe and on return my friend was questioned as to who she was to her own children as they have her partner's surname.

She had never been stopped before but had always previously been travelling with her partner. It made her feel humiliated that even though she was their Mother she couldn't actually prove it on the spot.

When they came home her and her partner went to the registry office and married.

mummaCL · 09/01/2018 13:32

If all your surnames are now the same what would be the point?

ArnoldBee · 09/01/2018 13:32

I re-registered mine on the basis that I didn't want to store up any problems in the future just in case there was a castle that could be inherited etc.

Kintan · 09/01/2018 13:35

Are you even planning to have more children? If not then the advice about subsequent children born in wedlock isn't really relevant.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/01/2018 13:35

So do you still run the very shameful risk that you may be the first person to be fined 2 quid or not?

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 09/01/2018 13:38

It’s not hard bringing a birth certificate with you, a hell of a lot easier than changing your name!
I did reregister dc1 after marriage but only as we had dc2 and I didn’t want the first one feeling their certificate was different. Doubt he’d ever care. We certainly won’t told when we married that we should do it legally.

bridgetreilly · 09/01/2018 13:38

You should make a will anyway, though, naming your current children 'and any subsequent children' or something like that. Make everything as clear and straightforward as possible.

Willswife · 09/01/2018 13:40

We were told when we married that we needed to reregister our children but we haven't done it.

It is still a requirement, however much you disagree with the reasoning. However, I would guess there's a lot of people, us included, that haven't bothered.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/01/2018 13:40

Travelling wise.

Being married or not makes no bloody difference.

The requirement is to have the consent of all parties with Pr unless you have a court order saying you don’t need it

grannytomine · 09/01/2018 13:41

Well my nieces and nephew were abducted abroad by their father. Parents were married. I think any parent travelling alone with children should have to prove the other parent agrees otherwise children are at risk, married or not, same name or not.

grannytomine · 09/01/2018 13:42

NeedsAsockamnesty, exactly.

ExConstance · 09/01/2018 13:48

Why do people who are totally ignorant as to the law insist on publishing frightening nonsense as fact. If parents marry no difference in law as to treatment of pre marriage children and post marriage children.

endofthelinefinally · 09/01/2018 13:48

I agree with you granny.
I have always been asked to produce parental travel permission for under 16s with a different surname from my own when returning to the UK, but rarely when leaving.
I have family in several different countries and have always done a LOT of travelling, with various kids. We tend to share them around at holiday times. Grin Each child carries their letter in their passport and I have copies in my hand luggage. We actually have an official A4 folder that goes in the hand luggage. It just makes life easier.
The customs officers still ask the DC to explain who everybody is, and ask if they are happy to be with us!

BoredOnMatLeave · 09/01/2018 13:51

Interesting thread... when we registered DD the registrar told us we had to come back and reregister if we get married. I didn't think it was optional...

I think if we do get married we will reregister just to be on the safe side.

OOAOML · 09/01/2018 13:53

Does re-registering even change your name on the certificate though? Because presumably you have to produce your own birth and marriage certificates, and your name at the time of their birth was not what your name is now?

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