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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Potential new job - unprofessional behaviour?

109 replies

chorltonwheelies · 08/01/2018 20:58

Name-changed as this could be outing. Sorry if long, trying not to drip-feed. Posting this on Monday eves.

I applied for a job which was advertised nationally in November. Closing date was 19th Nov. No agency involved. I've been out of formal FT work for 9 years & freelance, but knew I was more than qualified for this, even though it appears high-level (Job has Director in the title).

The advert said that the interviews would take place 4th Dec and the position would start early in the New Year.

I applied, really wanting the job. Perfect time, perfect salary, perfect opportunity.

They called me for interview, on the 5th December. I didn't think I'd performed as well as I could so was really pleased when they got back to me and called me to 2nd stage interview, which was on Thursday.

Interview was a presentation to a panel of 9 and then a 1-1 with Chairman.

I thought it all went quite well & Chairman told me that they would let me know the next day (Friday) as he understood given my freelance work, I'd need to know sooner rather than later. (If I got the job I'd need to give up my freelance work as there would be a conflict).

I get a phonecall at 5.30pm on Friday telling me that it's just a holding call, they are really sorry but they haven't come to a decision yet, the decision will be made Monday.

I've been on tenterhooks all day sat by the phone, I can't stress how much I want this job, everything about it seems to just 'fit', I really like the organisation and know that I could do such a great job and furthermore really enjoy it too.

Anyway. The feckers haven't rung. I'm presuming it's a no. AIBU to think it's really rude of them not to ring me. Should I ring them tomorrow? They have my email address and have done most of the correspondence via email. It's not hard to ring or email someone with a no, is it, or are they just going to send me a polite letter via snail mail?

I've been out of the workplace for 9 years, so perhaps not up to speed with current practice. . I don't feel entitled to the job, I know they don't have to tell me, but AIBU to feel that this is bad behaviour, as well as feeling a bit crushed by it all.

I've been emotionally invested in this job since November, I had the presentation hanging over me all over Christmas, so surely it wouldn't have hurt to let me know? Meh.

OP posts:

Rainatnight · 09/01/2018 08:22

Sorry, OP, if you're going for a senior job, you need to work on your ability to deal with uncertainty and not to think the worst of people.

All sorts of things could have happened. New senior hires in my organisation have to be signed off at an extremely senior level and all sorts of things can happen to those people's diaries.

Woman up!

altiara · 09/01/2018 08:23

They probably haven’t made the decision yet. You think it round be easy, but having been on the other side, it might be an easy decision for one interviewer, but once more people are involved then you have to hear back from each person that was involved so it was a really fair process and then trying to have a discussion with the chairman for example who is then in back to back meetings trying to run the company. The person that needs you to fill the role will likely be crying with frustration while the other people have to catch up with work they missed while doing all of the interviewing.
Hang in there! Good luck

Original poster

chorltonwheelies · 09/01/2018 10:25

I agree I am probably second.

The reason why I am flustered is because this is a big thing for me and the organisation is not that large. Those involved in the appointment were involved in the interviews.

I can’t say anything else as it would out me, but there aren’t lots of different departments needing to sign off.

The interview was Thurs, I asked when I could hear & they said Monday, though they said they had made lots of notes & had a preliminary discussion after the presentation on that day.

They rang on Friday night off their own bat to say they would decide Monday after I had been told I would be given a definite decision on Friday. The Chsirman volunteered this, I hadn’t asked. I just think that by ringing me Friday, they raised the expectations.

Maybe it’s because it’s a new post, there isn’t the urgency?

However my rule is always to treat people decently and in business that translates as always doing what I say I am going to do.

OP posts:

SparklyLights · 09/01/2018 10:42

Honestly, this sort of thing happens all the time. Hold your horses. It’s only Tuesday morning, maybe the call-maker got involved in a meeting that went on. To candidates waiting at home it seems like eternity but to the company it’s one of 25 things to do so they’ll get round to it when they get round to it. It’s more time-sensitive to you than Then is what I’m saying. When they do ring, do not mention the delay or Monday or any of that. Just sound pleased to hear from them, professional, and calm. Remember to say thank you for letting you know no matter what the news of if you were popped at the post. There have been occasions where the first choice didn’t work out and they ring down the list, so try to be positive in all your communications whether it’s what you want hear or not. Good luck!

snash12 · 09/01/2018 10:43

I really think they just haven't decided yet. A friend of mine recently went for a managerial position when there was already an "Acting Manager" doing the job who also interviewed for it. They said they'd let him know by the end of the week and nearly a fortnight later we were talking about it and said "hmmm, maybe they have decided to give it to the Acting Manager". Another week later they call him and offer him the job! They were just super busy and hadn't had a chance to discuss the interviews.

Sending good luck.

Viviennemary · 09/01/2018 10:44

I suppose the very fact they rang Friday to say that they still hadn't made a decision means that it's very close. I'd try to avoid phoning. Most likely explanation is they've offered it to the other candidate and are waiting to hear from them. I don't think they've done anything wrong in the grand scheme of things.

GeorgeTheHamster · 09/01/2018 10:55

Contacting them can achieve nothing. Nothing at all.

Wait, however hard it is. And good luck!

Iprefercoffeetotea · 09/01/2018 10:58

And if they have offered it to someone else, they might say no! Hang on in there.

Years ago I was told I would be told about a job offer within 1-2 days. I didn't hear anything, I was busy at college, assumed it was a no and moved on. Two weeks later I received a letter through the post offering me the job. It was part of a graduate recruitment scheme and when I met other people they'd all received a phone call after a couple of days. I've often thought I was a second choice, someone said no and I was on the reserve list. Doesn't matter. I got the job and it got me onto the ladder. As others have said, hang on in there.

Original poster

chorltonwheelies · 09/01/2018 11:00

I just wish the Chairman hadn’t volunteered on Thursday that I would hear Friday (understanding that I really do need to know, because I need to wind down my freelance commitments/clients ASAP) then they had buggered about with a holding call.

OP posts:

mmzz · 09/01/2018 11:11

I'd guess that you are being kept on hold, possibly while they negotiate with their preferred candidate. I suspect you are 2nd choice.

Either that or they need approval from someone

fluffyowlagain · 09/01/2018 11:11

For my recent job I was told that I would hear within 48 hours (two working days). Then there was a weekend. I eventually found out I had been successful only after emailing them to chase it up (four working days). The panel had made their decision that day, but the process had been slowed down by bureaucracy (I work for a large organisation). It was annoying that the panel chair had told me I would hear within 48hrs, as when that time was up I felt sad I hadn't heard, but in retrospect he shouldn't have said this, as it was outside of his control. Good luck, though! Hopefully it's just bureaucracy taking its time...

whiskyowl · 09/01/2018 11:12

I do think this is rude. I'm sorry, OP, it does sound as though someone else has been offered the job and taken time to think about it, or is playing hardball over terms and conditions. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that I am wrong though (or that their ask is so unreasonable that you are offered it anyway!)

My DH regularly appoints people for jobs, and he actually has said that there have been times when he's realised that he's offered to the wrong candidate because of someone's attitude during that process, and has actually been really grateful when they have dropped out after being difficult and cleared the way for another candidate! Sometimes places just get it wrong!

maddnessintheroost · 09/01/2018 11:13

Give it till Wednesday then perhaps a polite email/phone call. You can say as you want to make plans re your freelance work. I waited a week for confirmation about my current job and did this. It took 3 weeks total for them to come to a decision. I love the job but working there I understand why it took so long (and every other decision)

maddnessintheroost · 09/01/2018 11:16

You can also reiterate that you are keen on the position

sonjadog · 09/01/2018 11:26

I would leave it until tomorrow before contacting them.

Botanicbaby · 09/01/2018 12:28

The reason why I am flustered is because this is a big thing for me and the organisation is not that large. Those involved in the appointment were involved in the interviews.

I can’t say anything else as it would out me, but there aren’t lots of different departments needing to sign off.

However my rule is always to treat people decently and in business that translates as always doing what I say I am going to do.

Have you ever worked for a small organisation before OP? All the more reason to get the hiring right, particularly for a newly created role. It is a nightmare to not have the right fit in a small organisation when there are not that many employees as there is nowhere 'to hide' so to speak. Particularly for a new role where there is no previous encumbent to learn from.

As others have said, bide your time. There may be many reasons why they cannot yet confirm despite what the Chairman said previously. In smaller organisations, in my experience, you have to be more flexible and less reliant on set 'rules' and manage expectations well. It sounds from your last remark that you don't think they are treating you 'decently' despite the fact they gave you a holding phone call - you have to be a bit more flexible I think - and if you don't like their behaviour already, perhaps you should assess whether you would really like to work there after all or has passing the first interview stage just awakened in you a really strong desire to return to work FT?

AuntJane · 09/01/2018 12:49

It may be that you are the second choice, and they are waiting to hear back whether or not the first choice will accept the job.

PinkBlueYellow · 09/01/2018 15:08

Please let us know as soon as you hear! I am going for an interview tomorrow for a job I would absolutely love, so hopefully we will both be successful. Good luck

Original poster

chorltonwheelies · 09/01/2018 15:10

sighs, drums fingers on table, waits for phone to ring, refreshes email

OP posts:

PilarTernera · 09/01/2018 15:19

If it's any comfort OP, I was the second choice for the job I am doing now. The first choice accepted it, but then changed their mind.

Don't give up hope!

TieGrr · 09/01/2018 15:20

Go to the cinema where you can't check your phone or email. That's where I always seem to be when I get important news.

Original poster

chorltonwheelies · 09/01/2018 15:25

My DH isn’t helping either. He keeps saying “no news then” and “they would have contacted you by now, I’m really sorry”, etc

OP posts:

fluffycat5601 · 09/01/2018 16:30

This thread is scaring me. I went for an interview Friday and they're meant to be letting me know tomorrow afternoon absolute latest.

Hope you hear soon

redexpat · 09/01/2018 16:38

Keep your freelance clients. Its not your fault if they havent given you as much notice as they could have. If this job doesnt go your way then you will need your clients. It is really annoying.

Original poster

chorltonwheelies · 09/01/2018 16:53

Ha ha! They just rang. Two of the key decision makers are away this week. Basically all of the candidates are very good but we have different strengths and it’s a decision as to whether or not they want apples or pears. They still haven’t made up their minds...

OP posts:

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