To let 2yo DS play independently for an hour whilst I get things sorted

[waterfall0119]

So today is like a typical day. We are going to playgroup this morning followed by lunch then his friend is coming for a play date at 3. We always have things like this going on in the day —because I get so bored staying in the house—
House is a tip, the friend that’s coming over always has an immaculate house so I’m quite embarrassed about the sheer amount of crap we have cluttering our house (mainly DS toys)
I would like to polish and clean the bathrooms after playgroup, problem is I feel guilty for leaving DS to his own devices whilst I do this (he will always be in the same room or at least floor as me whilst I clean around)
I suffer from anxiety and PND still, and I worry that because I have the ‘luxury’ of being a SAHM then I shouldn’t do this and spend all my time playing and clean when DH gets in from work. Problem is DH works crazy hours (project management) and is at the office again late tonight so when he gets in I usually just crash on the sofa with a cup of tea and watch the telly forgetting all about the housework!
Do you all let your kids play independently? Need some reassurance I’m not a bad mum

It's important to let them play independently! My 2yo ds will play by himself, with minimal input from me for a good twenty mins or more at a time- it's also not horrendous to let him watch a bit of tv. My ds is currently watching 'doggies' (paw patrol) as I'm making fudge and the high temps aren't child friendly!

All. The. Time. And I work 4 days a week. It is a really useful skill. I have a big age gap between my kids. 6 year old DS1 is really good at playing independently. Or finding a corner and reading a book. And the one year old isn't too bad either. It's a really important life skill to learn to not be entertained constantly.

It's fantastic for them to play by themselves.

If DS is happy this is absolutely not a problem!

In fact I would say it is absolutely necessary - for him, as much as for you.

Thank you all needed reassurance it was my anxiety talking and it’s perfectly fine!

Absolutely not unreasonable! Independent Play is just as important for him as playing with you. He'll have plenty of input from others and from you when you're at play group, eating lunch, and his friend. He may well appreciate a bit of space.

If you still feel bad and he wants your attention, put a bit of water in the sink, lots of bubbles, give him a clean rag and let him "help" you!

Or put the TV on!

Absolutely fine! Will be good for him.

Give yourself a break! Letting him play independently is GOOD for him. You must be completely exhausted if you play with/entertain him all the time. Mine mostly play independently, even though I'm always aware of what they are doing/where they are.
You sound like a great mum for caring about it so much. You will run yourself into the ground if you put so much pressure on yourself though.

I’m going to let you into a secret. When my dc were little not only would I do housework while they played alone ( or together) or even watched a dvd, but quite often I would drink coffee and read my book.

They are fully functioning adults now and like you, I dislike living in a tip. You might find it takes a bit of practice if dc isn’t used to playing alone but persevere, it’s a highly important skill.

I would say it's beneficial for your baby to play independently so long as the environment is safe. It's defo good for their development I'm sure and will help them gain some independence.

You are doing a great job. If dc have adult led play constantly they will never learn to play alone. Also you need time to do things and 10 min for yourself everyday even if no one is coming round. This is someone who dragged dd age 10m in travel cot into bathroom whilst I showered, put her in high chair whilst I mopped and sorted specific “ educational “ toys out of toy box for when dd was looked after by mil( who had 12 dgc and is perfectly capable)! X

Mine play independently. I'd go bonkers if I had to spent 12 hours a day as a child entertainer. They seem perfectly happy with the arrangement.

Just wanted to add that my house is always neat and tidy, and I have a friend whose house is always a tip. She apologises every time I go round. But the fact is it is anxiety which fuels my need for a tidy house and I often wish I could cope with chaos like she does! So don't assume that your house not looking like hers is a problem!

It is really, really important that he learns to play by himself. I would say that being able to rely on yourself for entertainment is a life skill. It helps problem solving, independence, concentration...the list goes on and on.

I was pregnant with Twins, had HG when my boy was 2. Peppa pig taught him to talk and taught him about life whilst I just vomited 🤮. He’s really independent now and so mature.

I do this all the time. I set them up with something, let them settle then I wander off and do my own thing. They come and find me when they want me. Sometimes they’ll happily play for an hour, other times it’s 10 minutes but I always encourage them to play independently.

If you have more than one child this is just how life is. I remember my SIL shouting at my BIL to 'interact with your child' when the poor kid was happily playing on his own with some bricks. It does them the world of good to be ignored for a bit.

Oh god do it! My DD is 7 months old, and I’ve always encouraged her to play independently. Of course I play with her a lot, but I think it’s so important for them to learn to play on their own for periods - so they can be creative with their toys and use their imaginations. (Maybe not my 7mo just yet, but you get my drift!)

You might be interested to consider that this generation of mums may be the first ever in human history to have even formulated this question. Children have always played independently of adults. It's a vital part of child development.
So crack on and have a bit of psychic space from your Ds, and it doesn't matter what you use it for. It'll do you both good and he'll come to no harm. He'll let you know when he needs input from time to time.

I'm also a sahm and my house is far from immaculate! I do basic tidying, a load of laundry and a quick clean every morning while 16 mo dd plays with her toys in the first hour after we get up. Once dd has had something to eat she is totally content to play on her own while I rush around sorting the house out. Independent play is good for them, don't beat yourself up about it OP. Having an immaculate home when you have little ones is hard work and I don't see how people manage without losing out on time spent with their DC. Though I've never been in a home with children that I would describe as immaculate tbh.

Do it. And don't be afraid to put CBeebies on if needed - I actually think Flop is a much better parent than me anyway, so DS can only benefit from watching Bing. And he will also learn that houses don't clean themselves.