Situation is that I am renting a studio casually off this guy... i will be running my new business from there but it's not through an estate agent, it's more of an informal agreement & can be cancelled with 1 months notice from either party.. no commercial lease etc. This works really well for me as I don't have a lot of startup capital and want to test out my business without a huge commitment to a lease. Although I am putting some £ into renovating it - around £400 on paint & light renovation work.
When I went to look at the studio space, as soon as he walked in I was taken aback at how young and handsome he was as I was expecting him to be some fat old builder ! Ha. What I'm trying to say is I had one of those moments where I felt the impact of meeting him & there was an immediate attraction on my part.
I kind of ignored it and focussed on the renting agreement & professional stuff blah blah and it's only looking back now that I realise I was attracted to him even from the first meeting.
Now a couple of months on, I have been there every week or so overseeing renovations / doing painting myself so we have seen each other quite a lot as he lives opposite & will pretty much every time I am there he will come over and see me and chat to me for a while even when he doesn't need to talk to me about anything. We have had what started out as friendly banter and jokes, talking about our personal lives a tiny bit .. he has met my daughter when she's come to the studio and had a little joke with her.. he has a niece the same age.. and now after 2 months it's kind of become more flirty on both of our sides.. he has been really helpful bringing me tools that he thinks we help me with painting etc which is nice. But also has been professional and business like about things when he's needed to be or when I've had questions about practical landlord-y things.
He also told me that a couple of months ago his wife moved out and that they are now separated and going through a divorce and that they were together for 6 years. I've met his Mum as well as she has her business close by in the same town too & they have all been friendly & they've met my Dad & Mum quite a few times when he's been helping me with DIY stuff to do with the renovations or bringing my daughter to the studio whilst I was painting there and he was there too. All got along well and friendly etc very natural and nice.
But I really don't know that much about him .. he is 40, I am 29.. my ex was 15 years older than me and that didn't work out - my DD's father. He was narcisstic/bipolar unmediated/abusive. So even though I left him 2.5 years ago I am still wary of making wrong choices when it comes to men.
When chatting to my friends about this some of them have said maybe fate has brought this man into my life's and we're a good match in terms of age & where we are in life & we have things in common, get on well etc so why not just let the flirtation continue, let a friendship or more develop naturally.. and some friends have said absolutely not do not go there, you're relying on renting that space from him for your business, he's technically still married, on the rebound, don't mix business and pleasure, not a good idea, very dangerous don't do it, stop flirting or reacting to his flirting and just keep it professional, keep th boundaries etc... but that's hard! Because I do really fancy him & we seem drawn to each other. But in my traumatic experiences of past relationships, when you're drawn to someone it's not always an indicator of healthy love or a good relationship so this and the fact he's not long out of a relationship and I'm renting a studio from him.... makes me very wary. Or.. is it just that life is messy/unpredictable and you should just let it unfold ?
I have spent the last 2.5 years basically ending things with people I've been dating as I realised they weren't long term relationship material or they were on the rebound / unavailable and I could sense/ see that I'd get hurt so I'd just end it before I got feelings or I felt too taken advantage of. Few of them I'm still in contact with as friends though. But maybe I should just stop trying to protect myself and just go with what life brings to me? I live in a rural area so there are really not many men I ever see or meet who I'm attracted to or who are suitable (e.g. Mostly way too young !) and online dating has been depressing / I much prefer to meet someone in real life in a natural way. So..Any advice/opinions on what I should do ?