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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really cross with my neighbour?

32 replies

Arkangel · 07/01/2018 20:11

Backstory, we have two cats. One is a laid back Tom, the other a pretty vocal rescue girl.
We moved here last January and as soon as the cats started going out o noticed the neighbour was very keen on them, cuddling etc. To be honest I wanted to keep her on the good side because of the horrendous neighbours we had previously so I was very blasé about it and did the whole "oh yes, they love a cuddle, just watch Mixy though as she's very loud"... etc.

Fast forward to a month where I noticed she was letting them into her house.
I kind of tried to insinuate that she didn't really need to etc but she poo-pooed me away. I did categorically tell her not to feed them though.

Over the summer they were in and out both houses, including over the street (theirs and mine are now a little gang) so it was fine. I noticed neighbour had left out food and asked her not to, I gave an excuse about having to put their wormer in their food and she nodded along but obviously carried on feeding them, just inside the house.

Towards the end of last year I would get home and find both cats shut in her house, scratching to be let out. Or they will leave my house with full bellies to jump the fence and cry at her door for more food. This has become a nuisance as she then keeps them in until 11pm when she turfs the girl out to then cry at my door to be let in.

Anyway, it's annoying but I don't want to rock the boat.

This last week she's kept the Tom shut in and the girl too, I've been over to collect them back Hmm and the girl is missing a huge patch of fur over her back and tummy, as if it's been shaved. I asked the neighbour if she's used anything on her and she pretended not to hear me (she's old and does this a lot!!!) and walked into the house.

Maybe it's because I'm having such an awful week and a vets bill is just the last thing I need with no job.

Would it be unreasonable to tell her not to have the cats in her house? I don't know how we will bloody implement it because they'll be at her door crying (but then I DID say this would happen).

Am I being unreasonable in being stroppy with an old lady who just likes cats?

OP posts:
chickenowner · 07/01/2018 20:14

YANBU to ask her to stop letting your cats into her house, and to stop feeding them.

They are your cats, not hers!!

How annoying for you. Sad

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 07/01/2018 20:18

I had this with my old neighbours, they basically fed them really nice stuff, chicken etc when I just gave them normal cat food. They pretty much moved in with the neighbours the disloyal fuckers.

OnTheRise · 07/01/2018 20:19

They're your cats, not hers.

You wouldn't be unreasonable to tell her to not have them in her house, and not to feed them.

I wonder if the girl has gone to the vets, with those shaved patches. It sounds really odd.

You can put angled fencing around the top of your garden fencing to stop the cats from getting out. It costs a bit if you use the brand-name cat-proof stuff but you can do it yourself with angled brackets and chicken wire. It might be worth considering.

Tistheseason17 · 07/01/2018 20:23

It's your cats that are being cheeky! Sadly, unless you keep them locked in or sort fencing mentioned by PP she has pretty much taken over ownership.
That's cats for you, they're not loyal, I'm afraid...

mumgointhroughtorture · 07/01/2018 20:29

Could the cat have pulled out her fur thru stress . Maybe she's been locked in the house and isn't coping with the situation. I would definitely put a stop to this .

Original poster
Arkangel · 07/01/2018 20:30

Yes, bloody cats.
I think if we moved I would ask if she wanted them to be honest. I'd feel so bad.

I've calmed down now. It's just one of those bloody weeks.

OP posts:
overnightangel · 07/01/2018 20:34

“It's your cats that are being cheeky”

It’s not the cats that are locking the door.
She sounds lonely and wants your cats, you need to nip this in the bud

ifcatscouldtalk · 07/01/2018 20:38

I'd look into the fencing suggested above. It'll keep them in your garden. I wouldn't have been as polite to her as you have been.

charlestonchaplin · 07/01/2018 20:43

If you want the control, you need to keep your cats on your property. You don't let your cats out to be a nuisance then start dictating terms.

cornishmumtobe · 07/01/2018 20:46

Weird question - but how attached are you to your cats? You said if you moved you'd probably ask her if she wanted them so I wonder if that's something to think about doing now?

GTD17 · 07/01/2018 20:51

Off topic but we also have a gorgeous girl called Mixy she’s a tortoiseshell! Have never met another cat with that name before!

Original poster
Arkangel · 07/01/2018 20:51

We aren't allowed to do anything to the garden. At. All.
There's a bush that we can't even frigging trim. It's in the contract.

I love our cats, I love that M will have a full blown chat with me and how loving Tom is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Arkangel · 07/01/2018 20:52

Ours is also tortie!!! Is yours very chatty?

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 07/01/2018 20:55

Is your cat neutered?

hidinginthenightgarden · 07/01/2018 21:00

Could you offer to take her to a cat shelter and get her a cat of her own?

liviadrusilla · 07/01/2018 21:01

I would hate it if anyone did this to my cats - tell her not to, but you might need to keep them indoors at least for a while.

Touchmybum · 07/01/2018 21:11

I wouldn't like anyone doing this with my cats but I have to confess to having done it the other way round.... though not to that extent! I love cats! Do you have a cat flap fitted? We got our rescue tom neutered and chipped then got a cat flap from Amazon that only works with his chip, so he can come and go. Then are least when your girl gets chucked out she can get into your house!

Touchmybum · 07/01/2018 21:11

BTW love torties - and tortitude!!

Jaxhog · 07/01/2018 21:13

You could tell her that they are on a special diet, and that eating other food will make them poorly, You can also buy 'do no feed' collars that might help.

If this doesn't work, you may need to threaten her with the police. Assuming you're in the UK, cats are considered property and locking them in her house is theft.

sparklepops123 · 07/01/2018 21:16

We have 2 cats and even if I saw neighbour frequently feeding them this would really wind me up . I know there dietary needs, they are our cats . want a cat ? Get your own !!

tinkerbellone · 07/01/2018 21:47

My mum had a similar problem with her NDN. The neighbour fed the cat different food and then the cat came home and puked and pooed it up.
My mum asked NDN not to feed the cats because of this. Neighbour said 'oh they come and eat my cats food or he was crying to come in.. etc' She continued to feed them.
In the end, my mum had a strong word with her and they fell out for a short time.
Not much you can do with cats really - disloyal buggers.
I'd be annoyed about the fur missing. Wonder if she's taken her to the vets? Convinced herself you're not looking after her or something?

Gypsyb1998 · 08/01/2018 05:23

I love my three cats to bits they are great company.

Have you maybe thought she may like a kitten of her own? You could broach the subject gently. She would then have a small ball of fluff reliant on her and one of her own to love, thus not thinking about yours. I am 73' sadly on my own but my cats 🐱 are my world.

MayCatt · 08/01/2018 07:07

As a PP said, the patches of missing fur could likely be where she has over groomed if she was stressed by being locked in random neighbours house. Also, please don't suggest she get a kitten if she's an elderly lady as the cat is likely to outlive her. Many rescues have older lap cats waiting for a new home that could be perfect.

Original poster
Arkangel · 08/01/2018 15:04

Well I spoke to over the road and their cat (quite a new cat) also frequents her house but not quite as much as my two, and apparently the cat before that did and it's just this thing that is accepted.

I wouldn't suggest a cat of her own. There's probably a reason. The lady who lives with her I think doesn't like cats as she has a habit of turfing Mixy out quite... harshly, sometimes and a few weeks back Tom was crying to be let out and she saw me come through our gate and she opened the door and said "I think you should have YOUR cat back" and then slammed it.

I really don't want to rock the boat.

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 08/01/2018 19:46

Tortitude!!!Grin we call them naughty torties at work but tortitude is better

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