To be so sick of dh losing his stuff?

[Pinkhoodie]

It's Sunday and here we go again, same shit different day and dh has lost his key for his work van. No spare here either.

We've been turning the house upside down looking for the last hour or so. It can't have gone anywhere because we haven't been out today, and he had it this morning getting tools out his van.

This is a regular occurrence, keys, wallet, phone. We waste hours looking for stuff.

He's blaming the toddler, but the toddler could only get it if it's left in his reach (as usual).

I put a bowl at the top of the stairs in the windowsill for keys out of reach. Only I use it.

Agh, drives me mad, I know I sound unsympathetic but why does he never learn?

Put your feet up.
His problem, not yours!

Get him a tile device. You out on your wallet keys phone etc. When you loose them you press button to find them.

He never learns because you bail him out. You need to stop. It's his problem, not yours.

Get the tile app. I don’t work for them but it’s fab -there’s an app on your phone and a wee Bluetooth thingy clips to keys bag or Whatever and then it makes a noise if you lose the keys you use the app and if you lose the phone you press the wee tile thingy.

X post with olympics

Leave him to it. Not your problem.

Ah good idea about the key finder app.

I haven't got the heart to not help look it's just such a waste of time.

To make matters worse I've got ds1 who is just the same, and a toddler that grabs everything in reach.

My DH is exactly the same, and it is his keys, phone, work keys or the garage key on regular basis. Oh and his glasses . I used to get so stressed, then one day I thought what the hell am I doing.....!! I have a spare set very well hidden so it's a safety net but now I just don't engage and sit down and wait till he's found them. He spent 2 hours the other day looking for the his golf hat, that he'd put inside his car. Idiot. You can't change him but you can change your reaction to it.

Not your problem!!

Stop helping his look for things. He's an adult and needs to sort out his own problems.

My exh was like this.

Like other posters in the end I left him to find HIS belongings. His stuff, his problem.

Good luck to exh new wife, it is not my problem now

STOP ENABLING HIM. Honestly, just stop. You running around fixing his fuck-ups like his mum is doing him no favors. Tell him NOW that this is it. You will not, EVER again, waste your time dealing with his irresponsibility. He's a grown man, FFS. He is capable of finding a solution for his "problem."

My H is similarly careless. Looses al kind of thing regularly - keys ... wallet .... phone .... glasses .... money ... wedding ring .... diary .... CD ..... dog lead ...... garage remote ...

What really gets me is he doesn’t show any acceptance that this is down to him and he just sounds really whiny and cross. I used to help him look for stuff but he’d only moan and say ‘I’ve already looked there’ about every place I tried. Now, when the inevitable ‘ have you seen / I’ve lost’ question comes up, I just say .... oh dear, no, I haven’t seen it, I’ll let you know if I come across it.’

It’s time he was responsible for himself, he’s 58 ffs!

Is he a child? Daft bugger, leave him to it.

I worry that DS (who is only 10 but has dyspraxia and mislays everything) will be like this and it will drive the future love of his life bananas

Just put your feet up, and let him panic.

He should keep his keys in a usual place.

My dh is always losing stuff, I’ve stopped helping him look, as he can’t even find his own arse. Meh!

I do this always have done I don't expect anyone to bail me out and I try so hard to be careful but I still lose things. I hate it.

One of the reasons I left my ex was because of his constant, "Where's my xxxxxx..?"

Was exhausting.

Tried ignoring it but he'd target the questions at me so there was no getting away from it. Hideous way to live.

(I would not do well under torture.)

My DH is like this, I stopped helping him years ago. If he leaves his stuff lying around I dump it in a pile somewhere which infuriates him. I don’t react to any strops about things he can’t find and implications that I’ve moved stuff, occasionally I repeat my mantra that if he puts things away properly a) he’ll know where they are and b) I won’t have to dump them in a pile. 7 years in and he is much, much better having learnt that I am completely unsympathetic and unbending in pandering to it. In his case it’s because his mother picked up after him and did everything for him growing up but I am not his mother!!

Stop helping him - he lost them, he can find them.

My DP is similar - he dumps things down on the first available surface and then forgets to move them. I don't help him find them. He has plenty of places he can leave his keys - in the door, in his pockets, his wallet or the dish on the mantelpiece. He chooses not to - that's his problem.

I'm not going to waste my free time helping him out when he refuses to take care of his stuff.

Well it was found, inside a shoe, so toddler must have had it, despite dhs adamant that he'd put it safe.

I don't think he'll ever change. He's not lazy and does his share he just won't stop leaving things lying around.

We've just moved house so he's blaming it on that, but he was just the same in the old house, he was just the same before we even lived together.

I started a 'crap box' in our old house, a box where I'd chuck stuff he'd left lying around, pens, screws, screwdrivers, paperwork. It's been about a year and he still hasn't sorted through it or missed any of it

YADNBU, casual incompetence really pisses me off. Luckily my DH isn't too much like this but I want to stab his brother in the eye with a fork as he's terrible.

We all went on a family holiday in the summer and we were all flying home the same day but on different flights. The night before I asked BIL when he was leaving hotel/flying. He said they were getting picked up at 6am and flying at 3pm. I said that really early seeing as airport is 20 minutes away. His girlfriend then said "no I think we get picked up at 9am and fly at 12pm". They were all 'oh who knows hahaha'

They waited in the lobby at 6am and after an hour asked at the desk where the coach was. They were told they were flying at 6pm and getting picked up at 3pm. They'd dragged 3 small children out their beds at 5am, and thought it was hilarious. I was not laughing.

I know it doesn't affect me but I get really stabby when adults can't get their shit together. Something simple like that where it's actually written down on an email, there's no excuse. And to me there's no excuse to not keep track of keys especially when only 1 set exists. Hardly a toddlers fault

My DH was like this when he was younger. Once, whilst recovering in hospital (before DC). he “lost” the house and car keys at home. So he just left the house unlocked and took the bus until I came home.

I always look for small missing things in shoes now. My toddler hides all sorts in them. Dp was putting his work boots on and found chewed up toast in one recently

My god, I could of written this.

Dh loses his work van keys on a daily basis and blames the baby. Drives me insane 😩

I lost my car key a few weeks ago. Turned the house upside down but couldn't find it anywhere. Finally found it here