AIBU to scared shitless of my pressure cooker?

[piknmixer]

It's sat in a box for six months as I've been too scared to use it.

The instructions aren't great (it says turn the knob anti-clockwise to the closed position, but this position has an open lid illustrated on it).

I've cooked a stew and it started hissing so I've just run in the kitchen, quickly turned the gas off and closed the door.

I've been reading about them and I think this photo (not my kitchen!) is why it's stayed in the box so long!

I'm a wimp aren't I?

There is a fantastic Italian-American Youtube cook who says "If you put raw onions/rice/meat into the pressure cooker, that's what you'll get out!" and I think that's the mistake a lot of 70s cooks made, with the resulting slurry and slop...
OF COURSE you need to fry your onions and brown your meat before closing the lid. After that the process you started will continue and be forced through your food with the extra pressure, giving you an evenly browned stew and an even flavoured risotto.
And twice as fast as the oven or hob saucepan, using minimum power.
What's not to like??

I grew up with them so don't see the big deal (I would use one, but wouldn't bother to buy one).

That said, my friend (biker chick, ex-drug dealer, went to prison & tough as old boots) got rid of hers after the Boston marathon bombing. Couldn't get it out the door fast enough.

I have an electric Instant Pot brand of pressure cooker. I still stand well back when I release the steam, lol.

Oh I love my instant pot.
DH tried to introduce me to the art of stove top pressure cooking. I didn't trust it, especially once it got to the part where you had to release the steam and he'd found a way of holding the valve open with a tea spoon.
No no no no no.
He got very excited about the valve on the instant pot. No wedging! No standing around with a fish slice at arms length holding the valve open! No faffing with weights and no worrying the whole thing will go BOOM and then coat the kitchen with beef curry and chunks of aluminium.

This is absurd! A modern pressure cooker, used properly, doesn't hiss wildly, spew things out, or explode. It cooks things beautifully in half the time, saving lots of time and resources.

You have to keep an eye on it till it comes up to pressure, let it simmer on a low flame, and make sure you don't try to open it when it is still under pressure (mine wouldn't open then anyway, but I would never try).

It is not hard to do these things! And it is well worth it- I use mine almost every day.

I love mine, it makes amazing stew. Modern ones are safe if you follow the instructions.

Mine's a Lagostina like Sgtmajor's, and it's a thing of beauty.

Modern pressure cookers usually have at least one safety valve so they can't go above safe pressure and lids that cannot be removed until pressure has dropped.

I always let my stovetop pressure cooker release the pressure naturally, it takes a few minutes but no hissing steam or scald risk at all. You should always do this for meat otherwise it toughens up.

Here's the lady I told you about, making a video of a 7 minute risotto! The site is a mine of useful recipes.

Yanbu. Those things are evil. My mum had one. It took good food and turned it into rubbery crap. Everything (stew, rice pudding) that emerged from that monstrosity looked and tasted the same. I still have a fear of bay leaves.