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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for concrete benefits of BF after six months....

29 replies

soontobeamum1982 · 07/01/2018 16:55

My baby is five months old. BFing has been nothing but hard work, and now it's starting to affect my mental health. In the beginning it took about 11 weeks to be pain free due to poor latch, extreme nipple damage, thrush and mastitis. Then we had a good time of it for a while, but now I have a bleb that's stuck around for a month so far, another dose of mastitis (while also dealing with real flu) and now she's cut her first tooth and the latch has buggered up again leaving my nipples incredibly sore. I just feel like we're going backwards, and it's making me pretty miserable. The last thing I want is to go back to feeds being so painful I resent feeding her like I did in the early days.

So many people have told me that soreness from new teeth is transitory, and I want to believe that, but we've had so many issues that other people don't I feel like maybe this is never going to just work out.

I've stuck it out so far as we have allergies and asthma in the family and I know it's the only thing I can do to mitigate that risk

I'm going to do my best to stick it out for the next four weeks until we get to the point where we've done six months and she's getting solids too.

But is there really a proven benefit of carrying on after then? I know the WHO advice, but have any studies proven clear differences from this point on in developed countries?

I'm just not sure I can handle much more pain and anxiety. It can't be good for my little girl.

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 07/01/2018 16:59

Well done for making it this far, it's not always easy to breastfeed for long. Please try to do what's right for you, you'll inevitably get lots of advice, facts and links in this thread from people much better educated than I am, but you've got to look after yourself.
I fed DS1 for a year, couldn't tell you if it's made any difference to if he'd been fed formula. He doesn't get ill very much, but then his dad has a very strong immune system so who knows!
Sorry not to be more helpful!

nocoolnamesleft · 07/01/2018 17:02

On a population basis, yes. On a population basis, lower rates of infections, lower rate of allergy/atopy issues, slightly higher IQ, lower obesity rates.

On an individual basis? Rather less so. It is better...the question is whether it is better enough to carry you on through the bad side. And, of course, whatever you decide, you've given your baby a fantastic start by doing what you've already done. Well done.

Remember, the whole purpose is a happy healthy baby, and a happy healthy mum. Only you can know what balance will best achieve that for you.

TemptressofWaikiki · 07/01/2018 17:03

Sorry, don’t mean to derail your query. Probably/hopefully not applicable to you at all but I would advise having your breast examined. A very dear friend of mine had a recurring, very painful nipple and it actually turned out to be breast cancer. I really don’t want to cause unnecessary panic but now am more worried when I hear about other breast-feeding mums having ongoing pain.

Adviceplease360 · 07/01/2018 17:04

Yes, there are definitely proven benefits, ir will get easier as she starts to take solids and well done on getting so far, nursing is incredibly tough mentally and physically.

Allthewaves · 07/01/2018 17:06

I started blw at 5 months with my bf babies.

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 07/01/2018 17:06

Tbh I stopped reading when it said it was starting to affect your mental health. There are no benefits to breast feeding that outweigh your mental health at any stage at 6 days or 6 months.

Allthewaves · 07/01/2018 17:06

And checked in an evening bottle of formula so dh could feed

Minimonkeysmum · 07/01/2018 17:08

There are lots of proven benefits, but if it's affecting your mental health, you have to do what's right for you.

I did find that I lost a lot of weight through breastfeeding after 6months - definitely a perk - but may not happen for everyone (my dd didn't eat much to start with).

anothernetter · 07/01/2018 17:09

If you are in loads of pain then I would consider stopping if I were in your position to be honest. You want to enjoy this time with your baby. Not look back on it and remember it because of this. Maybe give it a couple of weeks and if things still haven't improved make the decision to call it a day. You have done amazingly well to stick it out as long as you have after everything you've been through.

clarrylove · 07/01/2018 17:15

Do what is best for you. It needs to be a balance but I have always found this leaflet interesting to show the benefits.

To ask for concrete benefits of BF after six months....
thisisalliwant · 07/01/2018 17:15

The benefits don’t cease to be there just because a child is 6m, 1 year or 3 years. Breastfeeding is a two way relationship though, and if you feel you need to stop for your own health, then do so. Getting to 6m whilst struggling is amazing, so you should be proud of yourself.
I’ve got 8yrs personal experience but have really struggled this time around, but for me the pros of doing it outweigh the cons of not.

londonrach · 07/01/2018 17:15

There is no benefits to a baby whos breast feed if the mother is struggling. A happy healthy mum is the most important benefit a baby needs! In my personal experience of 30 mums the breast feed babies are the ones who have been ill and in hospital. Out of dh and myself dh is ill more and for longer and he was the breast feed one. Look after yourself and do whats right for you!!!! Be that bf or ff. only you can decide x

LouHotel · 07/01/2018 17:31

I had an awful time bfing both my babies from 4 months to 6 months as they were leeches, easily distracted and early teethers.

Introducing solids was game a changer, by 8 months they were going 3/4 hours at a time without a feed and didnt feel so much like a milk machine, i fed my first to 2.4 and still feeding my 19 month old.

Im also one who needed a break once i awhile and expressed for a bottle, if i couldnt have expressed i would have done a formula top.

The advantages of breastfeeding to two are well documented but it has to work for both of you but i promise you you've done the hard part and it would be shame to stop not if you didnt really want to.

outofmydepth45 · 07/01/2018 17:37

In my experience it gets much easier and less painful post 6 months but as with pp it's about balance. You've done fabulous to get to this point if you do decide to stop don't go cold turkey ! See you GP/health visitor

Ulysses · 07/01/2018 17:40

I BF past 2 with both DDs and also did mixed feeding for convenience though probably didn’t need to do this after a year. I didn’t have any of the issues you have had after the initial 3 months though and found it both convenient and a comfort. At the age of 6 and 12 neither have had any health issues expect for the occasional cold (touch wood).

pointythings · 07/01/2018 17:49

I think you have done amazingly to get this far and although there are long term benefits to continuing to bf, you also have to think about yourself. You don't seem to be finding it any easier now than you did when you started, which is rotten luck, and honestly - if you want to stop and switch to ff you should feel nothing but good about that choice.

I am one of those lucky ones who found bf easy - and that has only increased my utter respect for you. Do what feels right for you.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigBaboonBum · 07/01/2018 17:55

Latch. Get the latch relooked at! Breastfeeding destroyed my mental health with my first because of the pain and misery that came with it, and the fact I absolutely refused to stop because it’s what’s “best for them”... turns out the latch was wrong! It was wonderful after it was fixed and a blissful, calm, peaceful time breastfeeding my second as I knew better. BF them both until 2 year old

Don’t feel bad for stopping though, I wish I did earlier because even though I did get it fixed... it was too late and I was very depressed from being in constant pain. But again, it’s a wonderful experience when it’s ‘right’. You’ve already done a great job

Amanduh · 07/01/2018 18:02

None of those benefits outweigh your mental health. You've done really well. Do whatever is best for you now x

Plainlycrackers · 07/01/2018 18:05

You have my sympathy my DS was a toothy biter. I really effing hate the BF emotional blackmail that goes on... whether it has health benefits or not it is not on for pious do gooders to make you feel guilty. All that matters at the end of the day is “Happy Mum means Happy Baby”. Do what is your gut instinct - Your MH is crucial. Sending emboldening hugs of positivity Flowers

WORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORK · 07/01/2018 18:05

I breastfed for nearly three years, and I wish someone had just told me it’s okay to stop. I kept going for the same reasons as you (allergies & asthma) but DS has both anyway.
All it did was make my life so much harder, and if it’s starting to affect your mental health then it’s okay to stop. It really is. And it’s amazing you’ve breastfeeding for so long with all the issues, mastitis is the worst!!!

maddening · 07/01/2018 18:07

For me it definitely benefitted when ds was poorly.

PrimeraVez · 07/01/2018 18:13

Well done for getting this far. I doggedly stuck with it with DC1 for 10 months, including obliging myself to pump what felt like gallons a day when I went back to work full time at 16 weeks. We also have asthma and allergies in the family and this was a big part of my rationale. DC1 still has both.

I’m now pregnant with DC2 and whilst I do intend to EBF at least in the beginning, I won’t be such a martyr about it. As I say, you’ve done so well to get this far. If you want to stop, or at least combi-feed, give yourself permission to do so!

Coastalcommand · 07/01/2018 19:03

I found it much easier between six months and a year then I have done earlier on. Teething calmed down quickly and my baby had far fewer illnesses than her bottle-fed friends. Super easy for night feeds too.

EekThreek · 07/01/2018 20:18

Absolutely with PPs - no benefit to the baby outweighs your mental health.

DD was BF for two years, DS for 9 months.

DD has always been exceptionally healthy, apart from odd coughs and colds, she's never picked up the usual childhood bugs. Even Chicken pox barely broke out, and she didn't even notice it.

DS was hospitalised twice with bronchiolitis, before I stopped BF, and had it two other times and was treated with steroids. He's the first one to pick up bugs, he was floored by chicken pox, and he used to have all sorts of weird spots and skin rashes. He fed like a demon, every two hours round the clock - I couldn't keep up and was on my knees exhausted from giving him so much of me.

On the whole, he has been more robust since stopping BF, health wise. Not a single chest infection or out of control cold. He's three now, and he hasn't even had a raised temperature this winter, unlike his first winter where he was pretty much on calpol every day!

I say all this just to show that on an individual basis (as mentioned up thread), each experience is so different. When you're responsible for a baby, you have to remember yourself first.

Please don't feel bad if you just want to stop. You don't have to have any reason other than you want to. Good luck Op